JULY 30.

Albert is arrived, and I must take my departure. Were he the best and noblest of men, and I in every respect his inferior, I could not endure to see him in possession of such a perfect being. Possession!—enough, Wilhelm: her betrothed is here,—a fine, worthy fellow, whom one cannot help liking. Fortunately I was not present at their meeting. It would have broken my heart! And he is so considerate: he has not given Lotte one kiss in my presence. Heaven reward him for it! I must love him for the respect with which he treats her. He shows a regard for me, but for this I suspect I am more indebted to Lotte than to his own fancy for me. Women have a delicate tact in such matters, and it should be so. They cannot always succeed in keeping two rivals on terms with each other; but, when they do, they are the only gainers.

I cannot help esteeming Albert. The coolness of his temper contrasts strongly with the impetuosity of mine, which I cannot conceal. He has a great deal of feeling, and is fully sensible of the treasure he possesses in Lotte. He is free from ill-humour, which you know is the fault I detest most.

He regards me as a man of sense; and my attachment to Lotte, and the interest I take in all that concerns her, augment his triumph and his love. I shall not inquire whether he may not at times tease her with some little jealousies; as I know, that, were I in his place, I should not be entirely free from such sensations.

But, be that as it may, my pleasure with Lotte is over. Call it folly or infatuation, what signifies a name? The thing speaks for itself. Before Albert came, I knew all that I know now. I knew I could make no pretensions to her, nor did I offer any, that is, as far as it was possible, in the presence of so much loveliness, not to pant for its enjoyment. And now, behold me like a silly fellow, staring with astonishment when another comes in, and deprives me of my love.

I bite my lips, and feel infinite scorn for those who tell me to be resigned, because there is no help for it. Let me escape from the yoke of such silly subterfuges! I ramble through the woods; and when I return to Lotte, and find Albert sitting by her side in the summer-house in the garden, I am unable to bear it, behave like a fool, and commit a thousand extravagances. “For Heaven’s sake,” said Lotte today, “let us have no more scenes like those of last night! You terrify me when you are so violent.” Between ourselves, I am always away now when he visits her: and I feel delighted when I find her alone.

七月三十日

阿尔伯特已经回来了，而我就要走了。尽管他是一位十分善良、十分高尚的人，尽管我在任何方面都准备对他甘拜下风，可眼睁睁看着他占有那么多完美的珍宝，我仍然受不了！——占有！——一句话，威廉，未婚夫回来啦！倒是个令你不能不产生好感的能干而和蔼的男子。幸好接他那会儿我在，不然我的心会被撕碎了的！阿尔伯特也真够正派，当着我的面从来没有吻过绿蒂。上帝奖励他吧！为了他对姑娘的尊重，我不能不爱他。他对我也很友善，我猜想这更多出于绿蒂的调弄，他的本心则少一些。要晓得女士们都精于此道，而且也自有她们的道理；只要她们有本事使两个崇拜者和睦相处，那么好处总归是她们的，尽管要做到绝非容易。

话虽如此，我仍不能不对阿尔伯特怀着敬重。他那冷静的外表，与我不安的个性形成鲜明的对照；而这不安我怎么也掩饰不了。他感觉敏锐，深知绿蒂多么可爱。看起来他没有什么坏脾气；而你知道，我是最恨人身上的脾气不好这种罪恶的。

他认为我是个有头脑的人；我对绿蒂的倾慕，对她一言一行的赞美，都只增加了他的得意，使他反倒更加爱她。他是否偶尔也对她发发醋劲儿，我暂且不问；至少我要是他，就难保完全不受嫉妒这个魔鬼的诱惑。

不管怎么讲吧，我在绿蒂身边的快乐反正是吹啦！我不知该叫这是愚蠢呢，还是头脑发昏？——名称又有何用，事实就是事实！——现在我知道的一切，在阿尔伯特回来之前我就知道了。我知道，我没权要求绿蒂什么，也不曾要求什么。这就是说，尽管她那么迷人，我也竭力使自己不产生欲望。可而今另一个人真的到来，夺走了姑娘，我却傻了眼。

我咬紧牙关，两倍三倍地更加鄙视某些个可能说我应该自行退出的人；他们会讲，别无他法了嘛。——让这些废物见鬼去吧！——我成天在林子里乱跑一气。每当去到绿蒂那儿，发现阿尔伯特和她一起坐在园子里的凉亭中，我就脚下生了根，模样变得傻不愣愣，说起话来语无伦次。

“看在上帝分上，”绿蒂今天对我说，“我求你行行好，别再像昨儿傍晚似的做戏行不行！您那副可笑的样子真要命。”

坦白说，我一瞅见阿尔伯特不在，忽的一下就跑了去。一当发现只有她一个人，我的心啊，总是乐滋滋的。