IT IS TIME TO BEGIN TO CONCLUDE

By A. H. Laidlaw

Ye Parsons, desirous all sinners to save,

And to make each a prig or a prude,

If two thousand long years have not made us behave,

It is time you began to conclude.

Ye Husbands, who wish your sweet mates to grow mum,

And whose tongues you have never subdued,

If ten years of your reign have not made them grow dumb,

It is time to begin to conclude.

Ye Matrons of men whose brown meerschaum still mars

The sweet kiss with tobacco bedewed,

After pleading nine years, if they still puff cigars,

It is time you began to conclude.

Ye Lawyers, who aim to reform all the land,

And your statutes forever intrude,

If five thousand lost years have not worked as you planned,

It is time to begin to conclude.

Ye Lovers, who sigh for the heart of a maid,

And forty-four years have pursued,

If two scores of young years have not taught you your trade,

It is time you began to conclude.

Ye Doctors, who claim to cure every ill,

And so much of mock learning exude,

If the Comma Bacillus still laughs at your pill,

It is time to begin to conclude.

Ye Maidens of Fifty, who lonely abide,

Yet who heartily scout solitude,

If Jack with his whiskers is not at your side,

It is time to begin to conclude.