[00:00.00]Unit 11 Social Relations

[00:13.32]Legs(E)

[00:15.96]In the first-class carriage on a train

[00:20.64]three men and a beautiful young girl join in a conversation

[00:25.99]The young girl proposes,"If each of you gives me $10,I'll show you my legs."

[00:33.25]The men,charmed by this young girl

[00:37.69]all pull a ten-dollar bill out of their wallets

[00:41.95]The girl pulls up her dress all the way to her legs in full

[00:47.23]Conversation continues,and the men,

[00:51.38]a bit excited,have all taken off their coats

[00:56.06]Then the young girl says,"If you give me $100,

[01:01.31]I'll show you where I had an operation on my belly."

[01:05.57]All three hand the money to her.

[01:09.02]The girl then turns to the window

[01:12.57]and points outside at a building they're passing

[01:16.83]"See there in the distance.That's the hospital where I had it done!"

[01:20.80]Mark loved baked beans very much.

[01:25.16]On his birthday,he walked past a cafe

[01:29.81]and the wonderful smell of baked beans overwhelmed him

[01:34.77]Since he was still a couple of blocks from home

[01:39.03]he figured he could eat some beans and then walk off any ill effects

[01:44.59]So he had two large helpings of beans,and then he walked all the way home.

[01:50.65]His wife met him at the door and seemed excited

[01:55.33]She said,"Darling,I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!"

[02:02.41]She blindfolded him,and led him to his chair at the head of the table

[02:08.26]making him promise not to peek

[02:12.02]At this point,he was beginning to feel a fart coming on

[02:16.57]Just as she was about to remove the blinmdfold

[02:20.72]the telephone rang,and she went to answer it

[02:24.80]While she was gone,Mark shifted his weight to one leg and let go

[02:30.96]It was not only loud but also smelly like a rotten egg

[02:36.24]He felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him

[02:40.78]When he heard his wife ending her conversation on the phone,

[02:45.46]he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and put his hands on top of it

[02:50.74]His wife removed the blindfold and yelled,"Surprise!"To his shock

[02:57.58]there were eight dinner guests seated around the table

[03:02.02]for his surprise birthday party

[03:05.89]Unit 12 Travel

[03:19.24]Travel by Air(E)

[03:22.48]Susan was going to travel by plane

[03:27.62]She took a taxi to the airport,but they were held up in heavy traffic on the way

[03:35.88]By the time they got to the airport,the plane had already taken off

[03:42.04]Susan felt very bad because she missed her flight

[03:46.90]She was going to take a later flight

[03:50.97]and she had to wait for it in the lounge for three hours!

[03:56.23]After Susan checked in,she went through the security check

[04:02.39]She handed over her bags,and the securty guard began searching through them

[04:10.15]Everything was O.K.

[04:13.99]Finally,Susan boarded the plane,ready for take-of

[04:19.94]The Traffic Stop(M)

[04:24.10]Gindy is going down the road,and she gets pulled over by a highway patrolman

[04:32.74]When he gets up to the car,he tells Cindy that she was speeding

[04:40.50]Cindy is not surprised,because she is always speeding.

[04:47.16]While the highway patrolman is standiong there,

[04:52.52]he sees that Cindy has six huge knives in the back seat

[04:58.76]He asks her what they are for,and Cindy tells him that they are for her act

[05:07.91]and she is a juggler

[05:11.67]The patrolman does not believe her,and tells her to prove it

[05:18.01]So Cindy gets out of the car,and starts to juggle with the knives

[05:24.47]At the same time,

[05:28.12]two men are driving by and witness the two on the side of the road

[05:36.09]One of the men looks at the other man and says,

[05:41.34]"Man,I am glad I quit drinking.

[05:46.41]Those drunk driving tests these days are hell!"