[00:00.00] 12.08.02 08:26:05

[00:02.00]听美剧学英语(MP3+LRC)

[00:10.28]欲望城市

[00:38.32](性爱专家凯莉布雷萧)

[00:44.68]，怪人秀

[00:49.52]Manhattan, for mllllons of our forefathers, the gateway to hope... 曼哈顿，对我们的前人而言

[00:53.80]...opportunlty and happlness beyond thelr wlldest dreams. 是通往希望与幸福的入口

[00:58.92]Today, that hope ls stlll allve. It's called The Flrst Date. 今日，那个希望仍然存在 那就是第一次约会

[01:03.04]On Saturday nlghts, every restaurant ln Lower Manhattan... 周六夜晚，每一家餐厅 都像座小型的埃利斯岛

[01:04.76]...resembles lts own llttle Ellls Island.

[01:09.20]Hordes of slngle women crowded lnto a hot, cramped space... 成群的单身女子聚集

[01:12.60]...hoplng to make lt to thelr flnal destlnatlon.: the state of matrlmony. 希望能实现她们 最终的目标：步入礼堂

[01:14.16]Or at least to get a hot meal ln translt. 或是至少好好饱餐一顿

[01:19.68]Samantha dldn't belleve ln The Flrst Date. But she dld belleve ln sex after lt. 莎曼珊不相信第一次约会 她只相信随之而来的性

[01:27.20]I think you missed a drop. 你掉了一滴

[01:30.08]Harrlson was a very successful lltlgator... 哈里森是个成功的诉讼律师 和朗柏尔曼洗过蒸汽浴

[01:33.80]...who took steam baths wlth Ron Perlman...

[01:33.76]...and owned an apartment on the 39th floor of Museum Tower. 住在高级大厦的三十九楼

[01:38.24]An excellent flrst-date pedlgree. 第一次约会的绝佳人选

[01:40.76]After dlnner, Harrlson lnvlted Samantha up to see hls vlew. 晚餐后，哈里森邀请莎曼珊 到家中看夜景

[01:46.28]I think you shouId know my speciaIty is sexuaI harassment. -我的专长是性骚扰 -真的吗?我也是

[01:49.00]ReaIIy. So is mine.

[01:54.76]This is a cIassic case: a cIassic case of entrapment. 这是一桩典型的案例 一桩典型引诱的案例

[01:60.20]BeautifuI woman, mind-aItering wine.... I couId cIaim temporary insanity. 美丽的女人 让人意乱神迷的酒…

[02:04.12]-我可以声称是一时意乱 -我曾让男人神魂颠倒

[02:06.16]I do have a prior record of driving men a IittIe crazy.

[02:10.08]You fit the profiIe. 你正是典型的案例 性骚扰者通常是年纪大的女人

[02:12.16]Most sexuaI harassment cases are brought by oIder women.

[02:21.60]-I'm sorry? -No offense, but what are you: 40, 41? -你说什么? -绝无冒犯之意

[02:22.68]不过，你几岁了? 四十?四十一?

[02:24.84]Samantha had celebrated her 35th blrthday... 自我们有印象以来 莎曼珊一直是三十五岁

[02:27.76]...for as long as we could remember.

[02:31.24]-I'm just gonna freshen up. -I think you're pretty fresh aIready. -我去梳洗一下 -你一点都不需要

[02:52.72]Hey, sexy, I'm over here. 性感宝贝，我在这里

[03:01.92]There, next to hls Brooks Brothers sults... 就在他的衣柜旁边

[03:03.32]...was the world's smallest cedar-llned den of lnequlty. 有着世界上最迷你的变态屋

[03:07.32]SIap me. -掌掴我 -你开玩笑的吧

[03:09.48]-You've got to be kidding. -C'mon.

[03:11.88]来吧，用力地掌掴我

[03:14.96]SIap me hard. 很显然的，那场景令人不悦

[03:15.24]Apparently the vlew left a llttle to be deslred.

[03:25.60]The next nlght, Samantha lnvlted us to a party she was throwlng... 隔晚，莎曼珊约我们参加派对

[03:26.40]...for the new coffee-table book du jour. 在一家不接受订位的新餐厅

[03:31.88]The book was awful, but the hors d'oeuvres were fabulous. 那里的开胃菜真的是太棒了

[03:35.96]Give him credit. Takes a Iot of work to get rigged up Iike that. 要这么狼狈还真不简单

[03:37.32]Most of my first dates don't even open the cab door. 我的约会对象甚至 不帮我开计程车门

[03:42.12]-What if he's stiII there? -The super'd find him eventuaIIy. -要是他还关在里面呢? -管理员会找到他的

[03:45.92]You see, this is why I don't date. The men out there are freaks. -所有的男人都是怪人 -这样说不公平

[03:46.100]That's compIeteIy unfair.

[03:50.04]If a man is over 30 and singIe, there's something wrong with him. 要是男人超过三十岁还是单身 那他一定有问题

[03:51.12]It's Darwinian. They're being weeded out from propagating the species. 他们在进化过程中被淘汰

[03:56.12]-What about us? -We're just choosey. -那我们怎么说? -我们只是太挑剔了

[03:60.28]I'm getting more shrimp. 我要多一点虾子

[04:04.08]You know what the worst part of the date was? 最糟糕的是 他以为我四十岁了

[04:07.48]Harrison actuaIIy thought I was 40.

[04:10.76]-ReaIIy? -ReaIIy. -真的? -真的，我看起来有四十吗?

[04:11.44]Do you think I Iook 40?

[04:14.60]If Samantha's past four blrthdays taught me anythlng... 莎曼珊过去四年的生日 告诉我们一件事

[04:16.68]...lt was that there ls only one answer to thls questlon. 这个问题只有一个答案

[04:19.40]You don't Iook a day over 35. 你看起来不超过三十五

[04:24.28]This is a great party. I just met the most amazing guy, MitcheII SayIor. 这个派对真不错，我遇见一个 很棒的人，米契赛勒

[04:29.40]When Charlotte really llked a guy, she sald hls whole name. 当夏绿蒂喜欢一个人的时候 她会说他的全名

[04:32.00]It helped her to lmaglne thelr future monogrammed towels. 这有助于她幻想他们的未来

[04:34.60]Mitch SayIor? -米契赛勒? -你认识他?

[04:37.08]-Yeah, do you know him? -Honey, I know of him. 我很了解他

[04:40.48]What is that supposed to mean? 什么意思?

[04:42.24]Ladies, I suggest you join me in the bathroom. 姐妹们，请跟我到洗手间

[04:47.92]-He's Mr. Pussy. -Mr. who? -他是小妹妹先生 -什么先生?

[04:47.08]Suddenly, Charlotte's towels were looklng very dlfferent. 突然间夏绿蒂的未来蒙上阴影

[04:50.72]He's renowned, he Ioves going down on women. -他喜欢替女人口交 -他看起来不像那种人

[04:55.00]-He's so cute to be so nasty. -That's disgusting!

[04:57.64]-I toId you there'd be something. -He's a Iegend. 好恶心

[04:58.84]-我就说一定有什么不对劲 -他独钟舔小妹妹这件事

[04:58.64]He's just amazing at eating pussy.

[05:00.12]-WouId you pIease stop caIIing it that? -Fine. Going down, giving head. -不要再那样说了 -好吧，口交，舔蜜桃

[05:05.80]-Eating out? -ShouIdn't it be eating in? -吸出来? -应该是舔进去吧?

[05:07.20]Stop it! -住口… -你不排斥吧?

[05:10.00]-You do do that, right? -Of course! 当然，但是我不喜欢谈论

[05:14.64]I don't have to taIk about it.

[05:15.28]Reallty was, the only thlng that went down wlth regularlty on Charlotte's dates... 夏绿蒂约会的对象 有一个共通点

[05:20.52]...was a Gold Amerlcan Express card. 他们都有美国运通金卡

[05:22.24]Forget it. I'm not dating anyone who is known as Mr. Pussy. 我才不跟被称作 小妹妹先生的人约会

[05:26.96]-Why not? -Maybe I want more than that. -为什么不? -我想要的不只那些

[05:29.56]Sweetie, if a man is good at that, there is nothing more. 一个男人在这方面很行 你就别无所求了

[05:30.48]Amen. 你一定是在说米契赛勒 他真的很棒

[05:31.24]You have to be taIking about Mitch SayIor. He's unbeIievabIe.

[05:36.92]I dated him for a month. 我跟他约会了一个月

[05:39.48]He was so good, I actuaIIy passed out when I came. 他让我高潮来时差点昏厥过去

[05:45.48]Enjoy. 好好享受吧

[05:48.24]The guy's got good word of mouth. 大家都对他赞不绝“口”

[05:54.64]My God, right over there. That's him.

[06:10.52]Unllke Mlranda, I wasn't ready to accept that all slngle men were freaks. 我不同意米兰达的说法 单身男子不一定是怪人

[06:15.76]I was so optlmlstlc, I had actually agreed to go on my flrst bllnd date ln two years. 我近乎绝望 我考虑两年后接受相亲安排

[06:22.44]P.J. was a very successful lndependent-movle producer. 皮杰是个成功的独立制片

[06:26.64]Hls documentary on endangered seagulls had just alred to excellent revlews on PBS. 他拍摄濒临绝种海鸥的 纪录片广受好评

[06:30.72]So, documentary fiIms. That must be fun. 纪录片，一定很有趣

[06:34.60]Let's be reaIistic. I'm onIy doing this docu buIIshit to earn a rep. 我拍纪录片的目的 只是为了赢得一点名气

[06:37.68]UItimateIy, I want to parIay into the action-movie arena to make money. 我的最终目的是赚钱

[06:40.64]I'm not afraid to say it. I Iove money. 我爱钱，要是卖马桶能致富 我也会卖

[06:43.20]I'd seII toiIet bowIs if it'd make me a miIIionaire.

[06:47.60]-What about the seaguIIs? -Fuck the seaguIIs. -那些海鸥怎么办? -去他的海鸥

[06:51.48]Step rlght up, folks. 各位看倌 两杯伏特加就能让人见识到…

[06:51.36]Two vodkas and a $12 pasta buys your admlsslon to see...

[06:55.28]...The Man Wlth No Soul. 没有灵魂的男人

[06:60.04]Observe lf you dare, thls chllllng slght. Bachelor Number Two seemed promlslng. 看过这些令人心寒的例子 单身汉二号似乎很有希望

[07:05.48]Just so you know, I can't see a movie without popcorn. 我看电影不能没有爆米花

[07:08.56]I'm a Junior Mints kind of guy. This reIationship is probabIy doomed. 我个人偏好薄荷糖 这段关系似乎被下了诅咒

[07:17.92]You want to Iean a IittIe cIoser? Maybe hear our entire conversation? 想再更靠近一点吗? 偷听我们所有谈话?

[07:19.52]Why don't you and your fucking girIfriend just sit on our Iaps at the movie? 你跟你女朋友不如 坐在我们腿上看电影

[07:25.36]Then you won't miss a fucking word, dick! 这样就可以一字不漏听个够

[07:32.72]Ladles and gentlemen, stand far away from.... 各位先生女士，请不要接近…

[07:36.68]The Man Wlth Two Faces. 双面人

[07:40.76]They say the thlrd tlme's the charm. 有人说第三次的约会最甜美

[07:41.88]Max was a broker who made $2 mllllon on bonds last year. 麦斯买卖债券赚了两百万

[07:45.56]We had a great dlnner ln Llttle Italy. 我们在小意大利 享用了完美的晚餐

[07:51.44]Not only dld Max have $2 mllllon... 麦斯不只拥有两百万

[07:53.88]...he also appeared to have a lendlng llbrary ln hls pants. 他的裤袋里显然有一座 借来的图书馆

[07:57.36]Parents, please keep the klddles away from the cage of... 各位家长 请让你们的小孩远离…

[07:59.08]...The Man Who Steals Cheap Used Books for No Reason. 无故偷窃廉价二手书的人

[08:03.24]Okay, now I was afraid. 现在我开始害怕了

[08:07.04]Apparently the men ln the datlng world had devolved slnce the last tlme I vlslted. 可以约会的男人似乎已经退化

[08:10.48]Maybe Mlranda was rlght. 或许怪人秀应该要被合法化

[08:14.16]They never should've outlawed freak shows...

[08:14.08]...because at least then the freaks were rounded up ln one place. 至少以前怪人集中在一处 现在他们四处游荡

[08:18.44]Now they're out there among us, roamlng free. Is lt true?

[08:23.32]真的是这样吗? 男人全都是怪人?

[08:25.60]Are all men freaks?

[08:28.08]Apparently Charlotte's week went a llttle better than mlne. 夏绿蒂的一周比我的好一些

[08:33.64]On Monday nlght, she was flnally ready to let Mltch under her sheets... 周一夜晚，她终于准备好 让米契钻进她的被窝

[08:40.92]...way under. 从下面

[08:51.68]Sorry. It tickIes. -抱歉，我会痒 -没关系，放轻松…

[08:55.16]Just reIax.

[08:55.00]ReIax.

[09:01.60]That nlght Charlotte came harder than she ever had before. 那一晚 夏绿蒂的高潮来得比以前激烈

[09:10.72]That ls, untll Tuesday. 直到星期四…

[09:14.32]-Yes! -Wednesday. 星期三…

[09:18.40]Thursday. 星期二…

[09:23.24]-Frlday. -God! -星期五… -我的天…

[09:26.84]Frlday. -星期五… -天…我的天…

[09:28.56]God! -星期五 -天…我的天…

[09:28.04]Frlday.

[09:35.72]That nlght, Charlotte saw God seven tlmes. 那一晚，夏绿蒂见了上帝七次

[09:36.96]For a lapsed Eplscopallan, lt was a very Good Frlday. 对于一个圣公会成员而言 那是个很棒的星期五晚上

[09:42.64]If Mltch was a freak, Charlotte was ready to run away and joln the clrcus. 如果米契是怪人 夏绿蒂已经决定投奔到马戏团

[09:55.88]Meanwhlle, all I wanted to do was run away. 在此同时，我只想要逃走

[10:19.24]Rough night? 难熬的一晚?

[10:20.80]Bad date. -糟糕的约会 -我也有过

[10:22.32]Been there.

[10:27.96]He was a kIeptomaniac. 他有窃盗癖

[10:31.56]Last month, I went out with a woman who sIept with her shoes on. 上个月我跟一个 穿鞋睡觉的女人约会

[10:37.24]Hi, Carrie. 凯莉

[10:41.92]Ben. 班恩

[10:42.88]I was lnstantly attracted. 我马上就被吸引了

[10:44.88]But I was pretty sure I could feel webs between hls flngers. 但我可以感觉到 他指间的蜘蛛网

[10:51.52]So when did you guys aII become freaks? -男人何时全成了怪人? -我们?

[10:54.20]Us?

[10:57.80]No. The Shoe Woman seemed totaIIy normaI. 穿鞋睡觉的女人看起来正常 但我马上发现她是怪人

[10:58.80]Then a month in, I discover she's a freak. They hide it reaIIy weII.

[11:01.40]她们都隐藏得很好 所以我不再约会了

[11:03.48]That's why I don't date anymore. Women are bizarre.

[11:06.44]-女人很奇怪 -谢谢

[11:09.24]-Thank you. -Sometimes in a good way. 奇怪不一定不好

[11:16.28]I once saw the worId's fattest twins at a state fair. They were both married. 我曾在一个博览会 看过世上最胖的双胞胎

[11:21.96]他们的老婆却骨瘦如柴

[11:23.12]-Their wives were very skinny. -Maybe it was an opticaI iIIusion.

[11:27.64]-或许那是错觉 -或许吧

[11:31.92]Maybe.

[11:40.64]-WouId you have dinner with me? -I thought you didn't date. 能跟我吃顿饭吗?

[11:44.72]-I don't. It wouId be a non-date. -A non-date. -你不是不约会 -这是个“非约会”

[11:44.40]“非约会”?

[11:51.36]Maybe. 或许吧

[11:54.24]-Is that a yes? -Let's caII it a non-no. -这是答应了吗? -这是“不是不答应”

[11:60.00]And lt was then that the most freaky thlng happened. 于是，最奇怪的事发生了

[12:03.92]There ln the mlddle of Manhattan... 就在曼哈顿中心

[12:03.60]...two complete strangers gave out thelr unllsted phone numbers. 两名陌生人交换了 最私人的电话号码

[12:08.08]Meanwhlle, Samantha was about to have her own chance encounter. 莎曼珊正要遭逢 意想不到的偶遇

[12:14.64]-Samantha? -Monica. -莎曼珊? -莫妮卡

[12:17.24]-Look at you. You Iook amazing. -Don't I? It's the work. 看看你，气色真好

[12:21.92]可不是，我把臀部的脂肪 注射到脸上

[12:22.40]I had the fat from my ass injected into my face. Look, Iike a baby's bottom.

[12:26.56]-看，就像婴儿的屁股 -真不可思议

[12:28.48]-UnbeIievabIe. -Isn't it? Fat from my own ass. 可不是吗?我臀部的脂肪

[12:34.64]The best part is, you get to eat Iike a pig before, fatten up your ass... 最好的是你可以 大吃大喝养肥屁股

[12:37.48]...and then a week Iater it's in your face. 一个星期后就跑到你脸上了

[12:41.20]Gotta go, bye. 得走了

[12:44.16]An hour later, Samantha had her flrst Blg Mac... 一个小时后 莎曼珊吃了久违的麦香堡

[12:47.04]...and an appolntment wlth the most expenslve plastlc surgeon on Upper Flfth. 并和最昂贵的外科医师有约

[12:52.72]Meanwhlle, I had my own ass to be obsessed wlth and lt belonged to Ben... 也有一个臀部深深吸引着我 那就是班恩的

[12:54.40]...an edltor at a hlp polltlcal magazlne, who made me laugh. 他是嬉皮政治杂志的编辑 很会逗我笑

[12:59.56]This is me. -那是我 -这代表着该说晚安了

[13:03.24]Then I guess this is goodnight.

[13:05.20]NormaIIy I'd try to get upstairs, but since this is a non-date.... 通常我会试图上楼，但既然…

[13:09.28]这是一个“非约会”…

[13:13.48]So no kiss. 所以不能亲吻?

[13:16.08]或许可以有“非亲吻”

[13:19.44]Maybe a non-kiss.

[13:32.40]There was nothlng ''non'' about lt. 这当中没有“不”的成分在

[13:37.84]A week and three non-dates later... 一个礼拜后 莎曼珊做出惊人的宣言

[13:38.32]...Samantha summoned us to make an announcement.

[13:42.04]You've got to be kidding. 你没有开玩笑

[13:42.20]It's sitting in a fat repository in Queens as we speak. 它还躺在皇后区的脂肪储藏库

[13:48.96]And in three days, it wiII be in my face and I wiII Iook fabuIous. 三天后就会到我脸上 我将会美得不得了

[13:52.56]I can't beIieve it. 我们每天想尽办法 掩饰臀部的脂肪

[13:51.76]We keep hiding the fat in our ass and you're putting it right on your face?

[13:53.12]你却要将它放在脸上

[13:55.92]I just have to wear this girdIe for a week to keep my skin tight. 我得穿束裤一个礼拜

[14:02.88]Look at that. 你看

[14:05.84]That's a girdIe with a hoIe. 上面有一个洞

[14:07.96]Of course it has a hoIe. It's for peeing, etcetera. 当然要有洞 用来尿尿…之类的

[14:11.44]Etcetera? 我昨天跟卡文克莱的 模特儿睡觉

[14:12.44]Last night I sIept with a CaIvin KIein modeI. I've never feIt sexier.

[14:16.88]-I think the fat's aIready gone to your head. -CouId you put your skirt down? -脂肪已经跑进你的脑袋 -把裙子放下

[14:22.68]-Whatever happened to aging gracefuIIy? -It got oId. 难道不能优雅地变老?

[14:24.48]I got to go. I'm meeting Mitch at my apartment. -旧观念了 -我得走了，我要跟米契见面

[14:29.04]-So how is he? -He is amazing. 他还好吗?

[14:30.04]他太棒了，我们可能有未来

[14:32.60]He makes me happy. I think we have a chance at a future together.

[14:34.08]-You and Mr. Pussy. -His name is MitcheII. -你跟小妹妹先生? -他的名字是米契

[14:38.20]Hang on, honey. You don't faII in Iove with Mr. Pussy. 你不能爱上小妹妹先生

[14:39.04]You enjoy him and then set him free. 享受过后就放他自由

[14:44.52]To Samantha, Charlotte had commltted the ultlmate sln. 对莎曼珊而言 夏绿蒂犯下一个终极的错误

[14:47.92]She was Bogartlng Mr. Pussy. 她把小妹妹先生英雄化

[14:49.40]He's a freak! Aside from technique, what do you know about him? 他是个怪人 你对他了解多少?

[14:50.20]-Do you taIk? -Do you even fuck? -你们聊天吗? -或是做爱?

[14:52.60]-Stop it. -Sweetie, Miranda has a point. -不要说了 -米兰达说得有理

[14:55.04]Have you guys had dinner together? Have you seen a pIay, anything? 你们吃过晚餐吗? 去看过表演?

[14:59.56]No, but we couId. 没有…我们可以

[15:02.04]You know what? You've faIIen into the sex haze. 你被性爱迷惑了

[15:05.64]Where the sex is reaIIy great and you start acting Iike a crazy person. 因为太美好了 你开始变得不正常

[15:08.68]You imagine the reIationship is something it's not. 以为这是一段关系，事实不然

[15:13.48]CharIotte's not having a reIationship, she's having muItipIe orgasms. 夏绿蒂有的是数不清的高潮 而不是一段关系

[15:17.84]He makes me happy. 他让我快乐

[15:21.80]Hoplng to prove Mlranda wrong... 为了证明米兰达说错了

[15:22.84]...I had convlnced her to come out on a double non-date... 我邀她和班恩的朋友路克 来一次双对约会

[15:25.60]...wlth Ben's frlend, Luke. 事情进行得非常顺利

[15:25.76]Thlngs were actually golng remarkably well.

[15:28.68]-Favorite ice cream? -Strawberry. -最爱的冰淇淋口味? -草莓

[15:30.76]-I see, you're boring. -I Iike to see it as traditionaI. -我知道了，你很无趣 -我觉得这是传统

[15:36.96]TraditionaI? TraditionaI can be good. 传统可以是好的

[15:36.00]Nothlng makes you feel llke more of a non-couple... 这样的感觉真的是太棒了

[15:40.28]...than creatlng another non-couple. 制造出另一对“非情侣”

[15:42.52]Unfortunately, our smugness was a llttle premature. 然而我们得意得太早

[15:45.88]-What are you doing this weekend? -Big pIans. 你这个周末要做什么?

[15:48.48]I'm gonna go see my granddad in Connecticut. 我要去康乃狄格探望爷爷

[15:52.40]-Connecticut? -What's wrong with Connecticut? 康乃狄格?

[15:55.40]-康乃狄格有什么不好? -我讨厌乡下

[15:55.92]I hate the country. I haven't Ieft Manhattan in 10 years.

[15:58.32]-我十年没离开曼哈顿了 -你沾沾自喜?

[15:60.80]-And you're proud of that? -Everything you want is right here.

[16:03.84]你想要的一切这里都有

[16:04.68]CuIture, food, the Park, cabs at 3:00 a.m. Why Ieave? 文化，美食，公园 半夜三点的计程车，何必离开

[16:11.20]Perhaps to experience a worId outside Manhattan. 去体验曼哈顿以外的世界?

[16:14.48]There is no worId outside Manhattan. 曼哈顿以外没有世界

[16:16.56]I'd unwlttlngly set Mlranda up on a date wlth Manhattan Guy. 我安排米兰达和一个 曼哈顿男人约会

[16:21.08]A genetlcally mutant straln of slngle men that fed on Zabar's... 一个靠午夜场表演长大的 突变种单身汉

[16:24.76]...and mldnlght shows at the Angellca.

[16:28.52]No, thanks.

[16:29.32]I Iike the city. 我喜欢城市

[16:32.08]I aIso happen to Iike the country. This does not make me a freak. 我也喜欢乡下 我这样并不奇怪

[16:38.16]You're obviousIy not from here. 你一定不是这里出身的

[16:44.32]I have to go feed my cat. 我得回家喂猫了

[16:44.60]Mlranda had lnvoked our code phrase. 米兰达说了我们的密语

[16:46.60]Honed over years of bad partles, awful dates and unendlng phone calls. 在无数次糟糕派对 和约会中解救我们

[16:51.40]Unfortunately, I wasn't ready to accept defeat. 但我还不想投降

[16:52.16]-I thought you aIready fed your cat. -I have to feed it again. -你不是喂过猫了? -我得再喂一次

[17:01.20]Cat peopIe are freaks. 养猫的都是怪人

[17:05.20]-Where are you going? -Home. -你要去哪里? -回家

[17:08.00]The man has not Ieft Manhattan in a decade. He's obviousIy a freak. 那个男人十年不曾离开曼哈顿 他是个怪人

[17:09.76]And by the way, if Luke is a freak, Ben is bound to be a freak, too. 要是路克是怪人 班恩一定也是个怪人

[17:15.72]You can teII everything about a person by who their friends are. 你可以从一个人交往的朋友 看出他的个性

[17:18.20]God, I hope not. 天，希望不是这样

[17:31.20]That nlght, I couldn't get Mlranda's freaky comment out of my head. 那一晚，我不断地回想 米兰达的怪人理论

[17:41.20]那么…

[17:44.84]Is there anything weird about you I shouId know... 你有没有什么 我不知道的怪癖?

[17:48.96]...before this gets any more compromising?

[17:53.44]Now that you mention it, there is. 你终于问了，在这里

[18:08.12]It's adorabIe. 很可爱

[18:11.72]It's a souvenir from a drunken bacheIor party a few years ago. 单身汉派对酒后的纪念品

[18:16.56]My friend's marriage didn't Iast, but Tweety Bird did. 我朋友的婚姻没了 但小鸟却还在

[18:23.56]So what about you? 你呢?或许你很完美

[18:24.64]-You're probabIy perfect? -No.

[18:30.00]Three stitches. 缝过三针

[18:34.16]I got into a fight with a third-grade buIIy. 我跟三年级的恶霸打架

[18:40.80]You're scrappy. 你真爱逞凶斗狠，我喜欢

[18:42.20]I Iike scrappy.

[18:47.88]And then The Amazlng Tattooed Man made love to me. 然后这位刺青的男子跟我做爱

[18:51.08]And lt dldn't feel welrd at all. 一点也不奇怪

[18:57.04]Whlle Mlranda was busy feedlng her pussy... 当米兰达在喂猫的同时 夏绿蒂想尽办法聊天

[18:57.12]...Charlotte was trylng to do everythlng but.

[18:60.20]Did you ever go to summer camp? 你有去过夏令营吗?

[19:03.28]There, over the exotlc-frult plate... 就在异国水果区旁边 夏绿蒂试着展开一段关系

[19:04.56]...Charlotte trled to make a relatlonshlp happen.

[19:07.16]I Ioved camp. I went to this pIace in Maine caIIed Minihaha. 我爱露营，曾在缅因州露营

[19:13.60]We used to pIay these big games of coIor war. I was aIways a Red. 我们会玩战争游戏 我总是在红队，很好玩

[19:18.12]It was so much fun.

[19:18.68]And then they made us stop because they said that it gIorified warfare. 后来大人决定不举行 因为他们觉得这是赞扬战争

[19:28.04]You're awfuIIy quiet tonight. What are you thinking about? 你今晚异常安静 你在想什么?

[19:34.80]Charlotte reallzed Mlranda was rlght. She had stayed too long at the falr. 夏绿蒂相信米兰达是对的 她在博览会流连太久了

[19:41.64]From that moment on, Charlotte couldn't be ln the same room wlth a flg. 从此以后 夏绿蒂开始痛恨无花果

[19:45.92]Some people mlght call that a llttle odd. 有些人或许觉得她很奇怪

[19:50.92]Meanwhlle, Samantha was about to get her own speclal showlng. 在此同时，莎曼珊即将重生

[19:53.36]VoiIa. 太完美了，你还可以做什么?

[19:55.00]I Iove it! What eIse can you do?

[19:56.64]To Samantha, surgery was llke belng at Barneys. 对莎曼珊而言 手术就像逛百货公司

[19:60.04]Once you're ln the door, you mlght as well shop. 既然来了，就顺便逛逛

[20:03.80]We can aIways Iift a IittIe here. Take care of these Iines. 我们可以把这里抬高一点

[20:04.92]雕塑出这些线条

[20:09.60]Here....

[20:10.60]In five years we can augment the breasts. 五年后，可以隆乳

[20:14.56]Pick them up a IittIe. In 10 years, tummy tuck. 把它们抬高一点 十年后，可以做肚子

[20:19.100]Lipo. 还有嘴唇

[20:22.08]The hip and the thigh area. 臀部跟大腿这边

[20:29.28]Doctor, you're needed on the phone. 医生，有你的电话

[20:31.96]Knee Iift. 提高膝盖

[20:47.48]Samantha felt llke she had walked lnto a fun house. 莎曼珊觉得自己站在哈哈镜前

[20:48.04]Only lt wasn't partlcularly funny. 只是一点都不好笑

[21:09.64]I'm Iate for my soccer game. Stay here. I'II be back in two hours. 我足球赛要迟到了

[21:13.92]不要走，我两个小时后回来

[21:20.20]It had happened. We had done lt and now I really llked hlm. 就这样发生了 我们做爱，我很喜欢他

[21:25.76]I was deep lnto the sex haze and completely freaked out. 我深深地被性爱迷惑 完全失控

[21:28.72]There had to be somethlng slck and off about hlm. 他一定有什么病态之处

[21:31.88]If the rest of the specles had devolved, Ben would have to be a freak to survlve. 要是男人这个物种退化了 班恩一定是存活下来的怪人

[21:37.64]I had to flnd out what was wrong before I wasted the next slx months. 我得在浪费青春之前 找出哪里有问题

[21:40.24]It started lnnocently enough. 一开始还算正常 我想知道他吃什么

[21:42.00]I just wanted to see what the guy ate...

[21:45.80]...llstened to... 听什么…

[21:49.28]...dated. 跟谁约会 然后就一发不可收拾

[21:50.60]Then lt took on a llfe of lts own.

[21:52.88]Somewhere ln thls hlp, normal-looklng apartment... 在这栋公寓的某处 一定有着班恩怪异的线索

[21:54.04]...was the clue to Ben's lnner freaklness.

[21:57.36]And I wasn't gonna rest untll I found lt. 我不找到不罢休

[22:17.20]There lt was, tauntlng me. Ben's secret box of freakdom. 它就躺在那里，取笑我 班恩的秘密怪异盒

[22:21.00]Home of llllclt photos, love letters, maybe an old marrlage llcense. 里面藏着不正当的照片，情书 或是他以前的结婚证书

[22:45.56]What the heII are you doing? 你在做什么?

[22:49.32]I don't know. 我不知道，我无法解释

[22:51.92]I can't expIain it.

[22:56.52]I guess I was Iooking for something. 我想…我在找某样东西

[23:01.48]Something? 某样东西?

[23:03.32]Something freaky. 某样怪异的东西

[23:22.52]It's my Cub Scout badge coIIection. 是我的童子军徽章收藏盒

[23:30.20]I was gonna skip the game to be with you. 我取消比赛来陪你

[23:32.64]I thought you were actuaIIy a normaI one. -我以为你很正常 -曾经是

[23:35.08]I was.

[23:41.92]I'm gonna go. -我要走了 -好提议

[23:43.100]Good idea.

[23:57.20]That was the day I came face to face wlth my freak. 就在那天 我遇见了奇怪的自己

[23:60.12]The frlghtenlng woman whose fear ate her sanlty. 一个理智被恐惧吃掉的疯女人

[24:06.28]The truth ls, lt lsn't just the men. It's all of us. 不只是男人，而是每一个人

[24:11.32]Anyone who's slngle ln Manhattan gets a llttle freaked out from tlme to tlme. 每一个曼哈顿的未婚男女 有时会做出怪异的举动

[24:16.40]But we keep trylng, because you have to flgure... 但是我们仍不放弃

[24:20.36]...lf the world's fattest twlns can flnd love, there's hope for all of us. 最胖的双胞胎可以找到真爱 我们也可以

[24:24.76]Somewhere out there ls another llttle freak who wlll love us, understand us... 在某处总有另一个小怪人

[24:26.24]会爱我们，了解我们

[24:31.32]...and klss our three heads and make lt all better. 亲吻我们的三个怪头 安慰我们

[24:32.80]And ln the meantlme, we always have Manhattan. 同时，我们永远拥有曼哈顿