亲爱的不怕吃苦头的人：
He sounds perfect, if you like bad people.
他听起来挺完美的，如果你喜欢坏人的话。
Why would you want to be with someone whobelittles you so that he can feel superior? Andespecially in front of your friends!
为什么你想要和通过贬低你而感到出众的人在一起呢?特别是在你的朋友们面前贬低你!
Which Ivy League school has a program in public belittlement?
哪一所常青藤联盟大学有“在公众面前贬低人”这个课程?
Because that's what this guy majored in if he thinks that insulting you in front of your friends isgoing to make him seem like anything other than an idiot.
因为那就是这个家伙所学的专业，如果他认为在朋友们面前侮辱你可以让他觉得是个东西，除了傻子。
And why should you care if he treats you better when you're alone?
你为什么要在乎当你没和他待在一起的时候，他是否对你更好?
Because it sounds like he can't wait to get you out in public just so he can humiliate you.
因为这听起来就像是他迫不及待的把你带到公众面前，这样他就可以羞辱你。
Dump Mr. Smarty Pants. And go get a degree in A Man I Can Be Around My Friends With.
醒醒吧，自作聪明的先生。在“交一个可以让朋友接纳的男人”这个专业获得学位。
But the university—I Like Myself. Greg
大学叫做“我爱我自己”。格雷格
The "But He's Just Trying to Help" Excuse
“他只是试着帮助你”的借口
Dear Greg,
亲爱的格雷格：
I have a boyfriend who really understands what I'm going through.
我男朋友是真的懂得我所经历的事情。
I've always had a weigh problem and I've been battling it my whole life.
我一直以来都有体重方面的问题，我一生都与之斗争。
He's a huge gym rat and is very food conscious.
他是一个狂热的健身迷，而且在意吃的食物。
He tells me what I can and can't eat.
他告诉我该吃什么不该吃什么。
If I want to cheat, he tells me that it will go straight to my fat ass.
如果我想作弊，他就会告诉我这直接会长在我肥硕的屁股上。
He lets me know if I'm putting on weight, but he also tells me when I look good and am makingprogress.
他会让我知道我是否长胖了，但是当我看起来状态不错，取得了进步的时候，他也会告诉我。
I think it's great that he's so understanding of my issue.
他可以如此懂我的问题我觉得太棒了。
My friends think he's mean to me. I don't agree. What do you think, Greg?
我的朋友认为他对我很苛刻。我不同意。格雷格，你怎么认为?
Signed Nadia
妮娜
Dear Weight Watchers,
亲爱的重量关注者：
This guy doesn't sound like your personal trainer.
这个家伙听起来不像是你的私人教练。
He sounds like your personal bully.
听起来，他倒像是你的私人恶霸。
And to remind you, his job title is actually just personal boyfriend.
而且提醒你，他的工作头衔实际上只是私家男朋友。
But he's a clever personal bully.
但是他是一个聪明的私人恶霸。
He knows that you feel bad about yourself and leaps to take advantage of that.
他知道你对你自己感觉不好，而且立刻充分利用了这个弱点。
Bullies prey on people weaker than them. Even ones that lift weights every day.
恶霸们捕食弱者。甚至那些每天举重的人。
It's time you use your quads and hamstrings to run away from him and never come back.
是时候用你的腰部和肌腱从他身边跑走，永远不要再回来。
Greg
格雷格
I'm going to comment on the last three together.
我打算一起评论最后三封信。
There's lots of behavior that can be considered abusive that doesn't include being beaten aboutthe head and neck.
有很多行为可以被认为是凌辱，不包括敲打头部和颈部。
That includes getting yelled at, being publicly humiliated, or being made to feel fat andunattractive.
这些行为包括被人大喊大叫，被当众羞辱了，或者被迫觉得自己胖或者没有吸引力。
It's hard to feel worthy of love when someone is going out of their way to make you feelworthless.
当有人特意让你觉得你没有价值时，你也就很难感受到爱的价值。
Being told to get out of these relationships may not work for you.
让你脱离这些关联也许对你没用。
Knowing that you're better than these relationships is the place to start.
你要知道你比这些关联更好才是起点。
You are better than these relationships.
你比这些关联更优秀。
