(14)水是怎样的开心呵,她将那可怜的失路的小红叶儿,推推挤挤的推到一个漩涡里,使他滴滴溜溜的打圆转儿;那叶向前不得,向后不得,急得几乎哭出来;水笑嘻嘻的将手一松,他才一溜烟的逃走了。
How happy the water is! At first she pushes and elbows the pitiful misled maple leaf into a water whirl, making it rapidly swirl in circle. There the leaf can neither move forward nor backward. Being too worried, it nearly bursts out crying. It is only when the water loses her grip grinningly that the little maple leaf gets swiftly away.
(苏雪林《溪水》,张梦井、杜耀文译)
原文作者通过拟人手法和叠词的成功运用,生动地描写出一片红叶在溪水中漂荡的情景。用pushes and elbows译“推推挤挤”,既准确地传递了词语的指称意义,又因含有4个音节,在一定程度上再现了“推推挤挤”这一AABB式的叠词特有的音韵特色;“滴滴溜溜”意为“快速地转动”,即rapidly swirl;“笑嘻嘻”如果译为smilingly,虽传达了词语的指称意义,却未能体现出作者笔下拟人化的水活泼调皮的一面。与smile这一泛泛地表示“笑”的上义词不同,grin更加具体形象地表现出一种开心、活泼的笑,即smile broadly, so as to show the teeth, expressing amusement (OALED)。译者用grinningly来译“笑嘻嘻”,可谓达意传神。
(15)最耐寻味是秋日天宇的闲云。那么淡淡然、悠悠然,悄悄远离尘间,对俗世悲欢扰攘,不再有动于衷。……它把一切的赞美与宠爱都隔离在澹澹的秋光外,而只愿做一个闲闲的、远远的、可望而不可及的,秋。
The thing which gives man most food for thought is the leisure in autumn clouds. As they drift sway from the human world, they are so pale, so calm and silent, so indifferent to the worldly sadness and happy outcries ... It sets all the praise and love outside its own pale sense and is willing to be in peacefulness and quietness, which can neither be held nor possessed ... Autumn.
(罗兰《秋颂》,张梦井、杜耀文译)
原文文风恬淡清幽,一系列叠词的运用勾画出秋日的闲适、悠远。译文选词恰如原文一般清淡悠然,如drift away、pale、calm、silent、peacefulness、quietness等,贴切地再现了原文的神采风韵。