Hey, I can't find any of the instructions on here for our coffeemaker.

我在网上找不到我们咖啡机的使用说明书啊。

In fairness, I haven't been looking.

也不怪它，我压根没找。

I got sidetracked by this buzzfeed list of misspelled tattoos.

我被网上一个"刺青写错字"合集的帖子给吸引住了。

This girl got "You go grill" on her neck.

有个女孩刺脖子上次了"妹子烧烤"。

She must really like to cook outside. Did you put yourself in a time-out?

她一定是很喜欢在外面煮东西。你罚自己罚站面壁思过吗？

No, I'm looking for Sophie. She's not upstairs.

我在蹲点等苏菲。她不在楼上。

Look, this is a long way to go to get something for free.

为了拿免费东西，这代价也太大了。

I was happy to walk into Sears and stuff a cappuccino machine down my pants.

我很乐意去百货公司里把咖啡机藏到我裤子里偷出来呢。

I'm not doing it for the free cappuccino machine.

我不是为了免费拿咖啡机才这样。

I'm doing it for the money we'll make from the free cappuccino machine.

我是为了免费咖啡机能为我们赚到的钱才这么大费周章。

And maybe to help Oleg and Sophie get back together. You know, it's a page out of Shakespeare, and I'm Puck.

顺便帮奥列格与苏菲复合嘛。就像莎士比亚书中的故事，我就是帕克。

Puck from The Real world?

《真实世界》里的帕克吗？

Am I the only one who's read a book?

我是唯一读过书的人吗？