There is no straight path from your seat today towhere you are going

从你们所坐的地方到你们要去的地方 是没有直路的

Don't try to draw that line. You will not just get itwrong

不要尝试画这样的直线 这不仅会出错

You'll miss big opportunities and I mean big, like theInternet

还会错失大机遇 我说的是大机遇 例如像互联网这样

Careers are not ladders. Those days are long gone

职业并不是梯子 那种时代已经一去不返了

but jungle gyms

职业更像是立体方格铁架

Don't just move up and down. Don't just look up

不要只上下移动 不要只往上看

Look backwards, sideways, around corners

还要往回看 往旁边看 看转角周围

Your career and your life will have starts and stops and zigs and zags

你的职业和生活会有始终 会有曲折

Don't stress out about the white space, the path you can try

不要对未来的道路太过忧虑

because there in lives both the surprises and the opportunities

因为生活中充满了惊喜和机遇

As you open yourself up to possibility

你需要对各种可能性持开放态度

the most important thing I can tell you today

今天我要讲的最重要的一点就是

is to open yourself up to honesty

对诚实保持开放态度

to telling the truth to each other

相互之间说老实话

to being honest with yourselves

对自己诚实

and to being honest about the world we live in

也对我们所生活的世界保持诚实

If you watched children, you will immediately notice how honest they are

看看小孩 你马上就能看到他们有多诚实

My friend Betsy was pregnant and her son

我朋友贝琪怀孕后

for the second child, son Sam was 5

她五岁的儿子山姆

he wanted to know where the baby was in her body

想知道宝宝在她身体里的什么地方

So yes Mommy, are the babies arms in your arms?

他问 妈咪 宝宝的胳膊在你的胳膊里吗

And she said, no no Sam, baby's in my tummy

她回答说 不不 山姆 宝宝在我肚子里

whole baby

整个宝宝

Mom, are the baby's legs in your legs?

妈 宝宝的腿在你腿里吗

No, Sam, whole baby's in my tummy

不 山姆 整个宝宝都在我肚子里

Then Mommy, what's growing in your butt?

那妈咪 你屁股里长的是什么

As adults

作为成年人

we are almost never dishonest

我们几乎一直很诚实

and that can be a very good thing

这当然是很好的事情

When I was pregnant with our first child

我在怀第一个孩子时

I asked my husband Dave if my butt was getting big

我问丈夫戴夫 我屁股有没有变大

At first, he didn't answer but I pressed

最初他没有回答 但我给他施压

So he said, yeah, a little

他只好说 有一点吧

For years my sister-in-law said about him what people

我小姑子经常说他的一句话

will now say about you for the rest of your life when you do something done

也是你们以后在生活中经常会听到有人说到的

and that guy went to Harvard

这伙计竟然是哈佛出来的

Hearing the truth at different times along the way would have helped me

在人生旅途中听到一些真相本该对我有所帮助

I would not have admitted it easily when I sat where you sit

我在你们这个年龄时 还没有领会到这一点

But when I graduated, I was much more worried about my love life than my career

在我毕业的时候 我对爱情生活比对事业更加担心

I thought I only had a few years very limited time to find one of the good guys

我认为自己没有什么时间了 必须尽快找个好男人嫁了

before he was to, or before they were all taken

避免所有好男人都被别人找去了

or I got too old

或是我变得太老

So I moved to DC, and met with guy

我于是搬到哥伦比亚特区

and I got married at the nearly decrepit age of 24

在"老迈"的24岁找个男人嫁了

I married a wonderful man but I had no business making that kind of commitment

那个男人很不错 但我俩似乎总是相处不好

I didn't know who I was or who I wanted to be

我变得不知道自己是谁 对未来失去了方向

My marriage fell apart within a year

一年不到 我的婚姻就以失败告终了

something that was really embarrassing and painful at the time

当时我非常难堪 非常痛苦

and it did not help that so many friends came up to me and said

很多朋友来安慰我 但却毫无帮助 他们说

I never knew that, never thought that was going to work or

我就知道你们俩结婚是行不通的

I knew you weren't right for each other

我就知道你们根本不合适

No one had managed to say anything like that to me

没人在我婚姻之前跟我说这些

before I marched down an aisle when it would have been far more useful

事前告诉我这些肯定会更有用

And as I lived through these painful months of separation and divorce

我熬过了离婚后的这些痛苦时光

boy, did I wish they had?

我多希望他们原来有给过我建议

And boy, did I wish I had asked them?

我多希望我曾经问过他们

At the same time in my professional life, someone did speak up

而在我的职业生涯中 确实有人无保留地说了出来

My first boss out of college was Lant Pritchett

本科后我的第一任老板是兰特o普里切特

an economist who teaches at the Kennedy School who is here with us today

肯尼迪学院授课的一位经济学家 他今天也在现场

After I deferred to law school for the second time

我第二次考虑法学院时

Lant sat me down and said

兰特跟我说

I don't think you should go to law school at all

我不认为你应该去法学院

I don't think you want to go to law school

我也不认为你想去法学院

I think you think you should because you told your parents you would many years ago

你认为你应当去 大概只是因为你父母想要你去

He noted that he had never once heard me talk about the law with any interest

他注意到 我在谈话中从未表现出对法律的任何兴趣

I know how hard it can be to be honest with each other

我知道 相互之间坦诚相见是多么困难的事情

even your closest friends, even when they're about to make serious mistakes

哪怕是最亲密的朋友 哪怕是在他们可能犯严重错误时

but I bet sitting here today, you know your closest friends' strength, weaknesses

不过我敢打赌 在座的各位知道自己亲密朋友的强项和弱项

what cliff they might drive off

知道他们可能会掉落什么悬崖

and I bet for the most part you've never told them

我也敢打赌 大部分时候 你们并没有告诉他们

and they've never asked

他们也从没有问过

Ask them

问这些问题

Ask them for the truth because it will help you

真相会越问越明

and when they answer honestly

朋友们诚实回答时

you know that that's what makes them real friends

你就知道他们是你真正的朋友了

Asking for feedback is a really important habit to get into

养成寻求反馈的习惯是非常重要的

as you leave the structure of the school calendar and exams and grades behind

特别是在离开学校系统 没了考试和分数之后

On many jobs if you want to know how you're doing

很多工作中 如果你想知道自己干得怎样

if you're going to have to ask and

你就需要去询问

then you're gonna have to listen without getting defensive

而且不要因为听到不喜欢听的而觉得受到冒犯

Take it from me, listening to criticism is never fun

毫无疑问 听人批评绝对不会让人高兴