但我们只能在批评中进步
A few years ago, Mark Zuckerberg decided he wantedto learn Chinese
几年前 马克·扎克伯格决定要学中文
and in order to practice
为了练习
he started trying to have work meetings with some of
他开始尝试在一些工作会议中
our Facebook colleagues who are native speakers
同中文母语的Facebook同事交流
Now you would think his very limited language skills
你们估计可以想到 他那有限的中文水平
would keep these conversations from being useful
会让谈话很难正常进行
One day he asked a woman who was there
一天他问一位女性
how it was going, how did you choose the Facebook
问她觉得Facebook怎么样
She answered with a long and pretty complicated sentence
她用一个很长很复杂的句子进行了回答
So he said, simpler please
他说 请简单一些
She spoke again
她又说了一次
Simpler please
再简单一些
This went back and forth a couple of times
经过几轮之后
So she is blurted out in frustration, my manager is bad
她只好说了一句很简单的话 "我的经理很糟糕"
That he understood
他终于懂了
So often the truth is sacrificed to conflict avoidance
通常 真相都成了避免冲突的牺牲品
or by the time we speak the truth, we've used so many caveats
我们在讲真相时 总喜欢使用很多修饰
and preambles that the message totally gets lost
很多委婉语 淹没了真正要传达的信息
So I ask you to ask each other for the truth and other people
我希望你们在向他人询问真相的时候
can you list it in simple and clear language?
能用简单明了的语言相互交流
And when you speak your truth
讲到自己的真相时
can you use simple and clear language?
也应使用简单明了的语言
As hard as it is to be honest with other people
同他人坦诚相见很困难
it can be even more difficult to be honest with ourselves
坦诚对待自己的想法甚至更难
For years after I had children
我有了小孩之后
I would say pretty often I don't feel guilty working even when no one asked
经常会和自己说 我对工作并不感到内疚 哪怕没人问的时候
Someone might say, Sheryl, how's your day today?
有人跟我说 雪莉 今天过得如何
And I would say, great I don't feel guilty working
我会说 很棒 我对工作并不感到内疚
Or do I need a sweater?
有人说 我需要一件羊毛衫吗
Yes, it's unpredictably freezing and I don't feel guilty working
我说 没错 外面很冷 我对工作并不感到内疚
I was kinda like a parrot with issues
我就像是一只学舌的鹦鹉
Then one day on the treadmill, I was reading this article on Sociology Journal
有天在跑步机上 我正在读社会学杂志上的论文
about how people don't start out lying to other people
上面写道 相比对他人撒谎
they start out lying to themselves
人们更喜欢对自己撒谎
and the things we repeat most frequently
而重复最多的那些话
are often those lies
通常就是谎言
So the sweat was pouring down my face
我脸上汗如雨下
I started wondering what do I repeat pretty frequently
心想 我重复最多的一句话是什么
and I realized I feel guilty working
我意识到了 我对工作感到内疚
I then did a lot of research
之后我进行了很多研究
and I spent an entire year with my dear friend Nell Scovell
我同好友内尔·斯科维尔花了一整年时间
writing a book talking about how I was thinking and feeling
写了一本书 讲我的想法和感受
and I'm so grateful that so many women around the world connected to it
世界上很多女性都同它产生了共鸣 这让我很欣慰
My book of course was called Fifty Shades of Grey
我的书名字叫作《格雷的五十道阴影》
I can see a lot of you connected to it as well
可见 你们很多人也都读过这本书
We have even more work to do in being honest about the world we live in
对于我们所生活的世界保持诚实 我们还有很多要做
We don't always see the hard truths
我们并不总能看到真相
and once we see them, we don't always have the courage to speak out
就算看到了 我们经常也没有大声说出的勇气
When my classmates and I were in college
我和同学们在读大学时
we thought that fight for gender equality was one that was over
认为性别平等的斗争已经结束
Sure, most of the leaders in every industry were men
没错 大部分行业的领袖都是男性
but we thought changing that was just a matter of time
但改变应该只是时间问题
Lamont Library right over there
那边的拉蒙特图书馆
one generation before us didn't let women through its doors
就在我们之前一代人的时间里 不允许女性进入
But by the time we sat in your seat, everything was equal
但在我们毕业那时 一切都平等了
Harvard and Radcliffe was fully integrated
哈佛和拉德克利夫完全统一了
We didn't need feminism because we were already equals
我们不需要女权主义 因为我们已经得到了平等
We were wrong
我们错了
I was wrong
我错了
The world was not equal then
世界在那时并不平等
and it is not equal now
现在也不平等
I think nowadays
我认为 现如今
we don't just hide ourselves from the hard truth
我们并不只是假装没看到真相
and shut our eyes to the inequities
并对不平等视而不见
but we suffer from the tyranny of low expectations
我们还在遭受低预期的践踏
In the last election cycle in the United States
在美国的上一个选举周期
women won 20% of the Senate seats
女性赢得了20%的参议院席位
and all the headlines started screaming out
所有报纸头条都开始叫嚷
women take over the Senate
女性接管了参议院
I felt like screaming back, wait a minute everyone
我很想大声回应说 等等 大伙
50% of the population getting 20% of the seats
50%的人只获得了20%的席位
That's not a takeover. That's an embarrassment
这不是接管 这是羞耻
Just a few months ago this year
今年 就在几个月前
a very well respected and well-known business executives in Silicon Valley
硅谷一位很受尊敬的知名商业经理人
invited me to give a speech to his club on social media
邀请我到他的社交媒体俱乐部发表演讲
I've been to this club a few months before when I
几个月之前 我去过这家俱乐部
have been invited for a friend's birthday
一位朋友过生日邀我去的
It was a beautiful building and I was wandering around
建筑很漂亮 我在里面游荡
looking at it, looking for the women's room
欣赏它 找女卫生间
