字幕：

　　Let me take a selfie?

　　The funny thing is, people used to call me butt-ugly.

　　In my 7th-grade yearbook, I was literally voted "Most butt."

　　So I took a lesson from Corynn McWatters, I blew out my curls and pushed up the girls, corrected my vision,

　　stepped up my nutrition, traded likes for likes, and before long, I was instafamous.

　　I have 263,000 friends, followers...and instaquaintances.

　　Not to mention the love and respect of my coworkers, who happen to be on board.

　　Got the upgrade, ladies. Don't be jelly, Linda.

　　Is that one of ours?

　　Eliza Dooley, our company's best-performing sales rep?

　　Yeah.

　　She's our best sales rep?

　　That can't be true.

　　That's the magic of the miniskirt...no one's immune, including Miller from legal, who happens to be...

　　Married, isn't he?

　　She hasn't picked up on that yet.

　　She's been a little too busy making sure her lipstick matches her thong.

　　How do you know so much about her lipstick and her thong?

　　I follow her on instagram. Very classy.

　　What is this, her breakfast?

　　See, this is exactly what I can't stand.

　　Social media is this...is this giant fingernail scratching this woman's itch for constant attention.

　　Giant fingernail.

　　Oh, look at me.

　　Something good happened.

　　blessed.

　　Oh, look at me.

　　Something bad happened.

　　still blessed.

　　I'm at the gym. gym flow.

　　I'm at work.workflow.

　　Oh, I'm standing near a baby.

　　baby flow, circle of life, blessed.

　　Your volume is really high right now.

　　Why does her generation feel compelled to tweet every item that goes into their mouths, including Miller from marketing's...

　　Warm nuts?

　　Thanks.