通过我们的观察,汉英译文中不够简洁、精炼基本上由两种原因造成:一是语言基本功不够,不知道怎样对语言进行过滤、梳整、调合;二是过分依附于原文,虽然某些意义成分在译文之中已经表达出来,后面汉语中再出现时,不敢、或者根本没意识到要对它作简化处理,这样译文便难以卒读。下面我们分别分析译者在简洁问题上所要注意的要点。
一、译者既要了解种类词(generic words),还要了解它之下的属类词(specific words),同时,还要擅长使用含有多个语义成分的词汇。例如:
1.漫天的大火把夜空映了个通红。
The night sky was reddened by the sweeping fire.
2.一个面皮干瘪的老妪
A crone (请比较:an old withered woman,后者啰唆)
3.我从他那里渐渐探出了秘密。
I wormed the secret out of him.
4.我一时想不起这个词了。
The word escapes me at the moment.
5.这篇文章不太好理解。
The article is elusive.
6.那里的景色会让您大饱眼福。
The beautiful scene will feast your eye to your heart’s content.
7.他怒气冲冲地对我们说:“……”
He stormed/roared/blustered at us, “…”
8.家庭的贫困,使我无法再坚持学业。
Family poverty incapacitated me from further study.
9.他冒着饥饿的危险,跟几个同事毅然辞职了。
Braving hanger, he resolutely resigned with several colleagues.
10.有的老牛活活渴死了,因为身体里没有水分,牛皮都剥不下来。
Some cows died on their feet from dehydration. And because there’s no moisture in their bodies, you can hardly skin them.