英文
145. Tulips
——S. Plath
The tulips are too excitable, it is winter here.
Look how white everything is, how quiet, how snowed-in.
I am learning peacefulness, lying by myself quietly
As the light lies on these white walls, this bed, these hands.
I am nobody; I have nothing to do with explosions.
I have given my name and my day-clothes up to the nurses
And my history to the anaesthetist and my body to surgeons.
They have propped my head between the pillow and the sheet-cuff
Like an eye between two white lids that will not shut.
Stupid pupil, it has to take everything in.
The nurses pass and pass, they are no trouble,
They pass the way gulls pass inland in their white caps,
Doing things with their hands, one just the same as another,
So it is impossible to tell how many there are.
My body is a pebble to them, they tend it as water
Tends to the pebbles it must run over, smoothing them gently.
They bring me numbness in their bright needles, they bring me sleep.
Now I have lost myself I am sick of baggage——
My patent leather overnight case like a black pillbox,
My husband and child smiling out of the family photo;
Their smile catch onto my skin, little smiling hooks.
I have let things slip, a thirty-year-old cargo boat
Stubbornly hanging on to my name and address.
They have swabbed me clear of my loving associations.
Scared and bare on the green plastic-pillowed trolley
I watched my tea-set, my bureaus of linen, my books
Sink out of sight, and the water went over my head.
I am a nun now, I have never been so pure.
I didn't want any flowers, I only wanted
To lie with my hands turned up and be utterly empty.
How free it is, you have no idea how free——
The peacefulness is so big it dazes you,
And it asks nothing, a name tag, a few trinkets.
It is what the dead close on, finally; I imagine them
Shutting their mouths on it, like a Communion tablet.
The tulips are too red in the first place, they hurt me.
Even through the gift paper I could hear them breathe
Lightly, through their white swaddlings, like an awful baby.
Their redness talks to my wound, it corresponds.
They are subtle: they seem to float, though they weigh me down,
Upsetting me with their sudden tongues and their color,
A dozen red lead sinkers round my neck.
Nobody watched me before, now I am watched.
The tulips turn to me, and the window behind me
Where once a day the light slowly widens and slowly thins,
And I see myself, flat, ridiculous, a cut-paper shadow
Between the eye of the sun and the eyes of the tulips,
And I have no face, I have wanted to efface myself.
The vivid tulips eat my oxygen.
Before they came the air was calm enough,
Coming and going, breath by breath, without any fuss.
Then the tulips filled it up like a loud noise.
Now the air snags and eddies round them the way a river
Snags and eddies round a sunken rust-red engine.
They concentrate my attention, that was happy
Playing and resting without committing itself.
The walls, also, seem to be warming themselves.
The tulips should be behind bars like dangerous animals;
They are opening like the mouth of some great African cat,
And I am aware of my heart: it opens and closes
Its bowl of red blooms out of sheer love of me.
The water I taste is warm and salt, like the sea,
And comes from a country far away as health.
中文
145 郁金香
普拉斯
郁金香太容易激动，这里是冬天。
看，一切多么白净，多么安静，多么像一片雪地。
一个人静静地躺着，我得学会让自己保持心灵的安宁，
阳光落在白色的墙上，落在床上，落在我的手掌上。
我微不足道；没有理由大叫大喊。
我已经把我的名字和日用的衣物交给护士，
已经把我的历史交给麻醉师，身体交给医生。
他们把我的头放在枕头和被头之间，
就像眼珠子嵌进不能闭合的白色眼睑。
愚蠢的瞳孔，不得不接纳一切。
护士来回走动，他们并不令人讨厌，
他们戴着白帽，行走时就像着陆的海鸥，
他们用双手做事，动作一致，
因此很难说清究竟有多少人。
在他们看来，我的身体是一块卵石，他们抚慰它
就像水抚慰卵石，因为水得从上面轻轻流过，
他们用闪亮的针让我麻痹，使我睡着。
既然失去了自我，我厌恶那多余的东西——
那暂时专属于我的皮革箱像一个黑色的药盒，
我的丈夫和孩子在全家的合影里微笑；
这微笑扎进我的皮肤，变成了钩子。
我已经让货物滑落，一条航行了三十年的
小货船固执地挂着我的名字和地址。
它们已经为我抹去爱的种种联系。
光着身子，惊恐地躺在塑制的推车上，
我望见我的茶具、衣柜、书籍都在下沉，
从视野中消失，水从我的头颅流过。
我现在成了修女，变得无比的纯洁。
我不需要鲜花，只需要这样躺着，
手掌向上摊开，手上一无所有。
何等的自由啊，你无法想象这自由——
这安宁，巨大得足以让你晕眩，一无所求，
连一纸姓名标签、几件小玩意儿都不需要。
死人最后都这结局；我想象得到：
人们从此噤声，就像面对一块圣餐面包。
首先，郁金香太艳丽，它们伤害了我。
即便是折纸，我仍能听见郁金香轻微的呼吸，
透过白色的襁褓，像一个可怕的婴儿。
那殷红在跟我的伤口说话，在传递信息。
狡猾的花啊：尽管我被压着，总觉得它们飘在空中，
以它们的快嘴和颜色搅扰我的安宁，
其中有几支还领着送葬者绕行在我身边。
我本无人围观，如今被人盯着看。
郁金香对着我，对着身后的窗户，
阳光每天一次在那里慢慢扩展，慢慢淡去，
我看见自己平卧着，模样可笑，一个剪纸的影
徘徊在太阳的眼睛和郁金香的眼睛之间，
我没有脸，想抹去自己。
鲜艳的郁金香吞食我的氧气。
它们到来以前，空气显得异常的安静，
来回自若，一阵一阵，一点也不凌乱。
这以后郁金香就将它挤压成一个喧哗的声音。
空气开始东拐西弯，像河水
围着一个下沉的破水泵横冲直撞。
它们聚集起我的注意力，自己不作为，
便能尽情玩耍、休息，真是幸福的事。
墙壁也好像正在为自己取暖。
郁金香本应该像危险的动物那样躲在栅栏背后；
它们正在开放，像张着嘴的非洲大猫，
我知道我的心：它一张一合开出
红彤彤的花冠完全出于对我的爱。
我尝到的水是温的，海水般的咸，
来自与健康一样遥远的国度。
