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　　情人节，Jay带着Gloria去听脱口秀，没想到的是他倒成了被取笑的对象。Mitchell 和Cameron带着Manny去夺回他的情人节约会，Mitchell发挥了他的律师口才。Phil则带着Claire出外吃饭，Claire外套衣带被电梯卡住，眼看真空着装的Claire就要出丑，Gloria用她的经验帮Claire解了围。

1

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情人节快乐

Happy Valentine's Day.

 

2

00:00:06,170 --> 00:00:09,050

情人节快乐

Oh, happy Valentine's Day.

 

3

00:00:15,370 --> 00:00:16,650

那今晚去弗里特利餐馆咯

So, Fratelli's tonight? 

 

4

00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:19,000

我来了  奶油糕饼

Hello, cannoli canoe.

 

5

00:00:19,790 --> 00:00:22,040

我喜欢  很合身

I like it. Nice fit.

 

6

00:00:23,060 --> 00:00:24,430

面料时髦

Swanky material.

 

7

00:00:24,710 --> 00:00:26,940

杰  你看起来又壮又性感

Jay, you look so strong and sexy.

 

8

00:00:26,940 --> 00:00:30,270

像个奥运会摔跤健将  同时又是个款爷

Like an Olympic wrestler, but with money.

 

9

00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:33,070

-到你的了  -好的

- Your turn. - Okay.

 

10

00:00:33,190 --> 00:00:35,110

情人节是我最喜欢的美国节日

This is my favorite day in America.

 

11

00:00:35,110 --> 00:00:36,860

情人节快乐  美女

Happy Valentine's Day, gorgeous.

 

12

00:00:36,950 --> 00:00:39,570

好大啊

They're huge!

 

13

00:00:39,700 --> 00:00:42,410

-我的天啊  -是啊  肯定好看

- Oh, my God. - Yeah, those will work.

 

14

00:00:42,540 --> 00:00:45,000

-真漂亮  -你今晚戴着吧

- Beautiful. - You can wear 'em tonight.

 

15

00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:47,710

我准备了惊喜

I have a surprise.

 

16

00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:52,310

莫非你终于要带我去跳莎莎舞吗

Don't tell me you're finally taking me salsa dancing!

 

17

00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:55,730

大卫·布伦纳是谁

And who's David Brenner? 

 

18

00:00:55,730 --> 00:00:57,180

拉斯维加斯的传奇人物

Only a Vegas legend.

 

19

00:00:57,180 --> 00:01:00,180

他是魔术师吗  我可喜欢魔术师了

Is he a magician? 'Cause I love magicians.

 

20

00:01:00,180 --> 00:01:01,360

他是个喜剧大师

He's a comedian. 

 

21

00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:04,120

喜剧大师  可今天是情人节啊

A comedian? It's Valentine's Day.

 

22

00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:07,100

我还以为是去跳莎莎舞呢  别去看喜剧嘛

I thought we were going salsa dancing, not to watch a comedian.

 

23

00:01:07,180 --> 00:01:09,020

你会爱死他的  相信我

You're gonna love him. Trust me.

 

24

00:01:09,150 --> 00:01:10,590

那家伙可逗了

The guy's hilarious. 

 

25

00:01:10,590 --> 00:01:12,560

好吧  说一个他的段子

Okay, tell me one of his jokes.

 

26

00:01:12,650 --> 00:01:14,190

他可不说段子

He doesn't do jokes.

 

27

00:01:14,320 --> 00:01:15,920

-那他有小木槌吗  -没

- Does he have a mallet? -No.

 

28

00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:18,120

那他怎么打头逗笑啊

So then how does he get hit in the head?

 

29

00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,700

他不需要打头逗笑

He doesn't get hit in the head.

 

30

00:01:19,790 --> 00:01:22,410

他观察在场的观众们

He- He makes observations.

 

31

00:01:22,980 --> 00:01:24,620

然后用幽默的方式说出来

He tells the truth in a funny way.

 

32

00:01:24,620 --> 00:01:27,860

拜托  他上过无数次《鲁豫有约》了

Come on. He's been on Johnny Carson a hundred times.

 

33

00:01:27,860 --> 00:01:29,050

鲁豫又是谁

Who the hell is Johnny Carson? 

 

34

00:01:29,050 --> 00:01:30,640

老天爷啊

Oh, for God's sake.

 

35

00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:32,510

我和歌洛莉亚不是一辈人

Gloria and I are from different generations.

 

36

00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:34,440

老实说  我很难跟她交流

And I won't lie- It isn't always easy.

 

37

00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:35,460

上个星期  她还以为

I mean, last week she thought 

 

38

00:01:35,460 --> 00:01:38,020

"西蒙和加韦科"组合是我的律师呢

Simon and Garfunkel were my lawyers.

 

39

00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:39,310

我可没

No I didn't. 

 

40

00:01:39,310 --> 00:01:40,580

我开玩笑的呢

It was a joke.

 

41

00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:41,760

我没听懂笑点  

I don't get it. 

 

42

00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:44,020

可能是因为我没小木槌逗你笑

Maybe that's because there's no mallet.

 

43

00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:47,270

是啊  我现在就想用木槌捶死你

Yeah, I wish I had a mallet right now.

 

44

00:01:47,350 --> 00:01:49,270

...打算待在加州北部

...was to stay in Northern California.

 

45

00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:52,820

你有没告诉她  需要多长时间

Did you indicate to her how long that you were gonna take?

 

46

00:01:52,940 --> 00:01:55,240

-情人节快乐  -情人节快乐

- Happy Valentine's Day. - Happy Valentine's Day.

 

47

00:01:56,430 --> 00:01:59,530

-情人节快乐  爹地  -情人节快乐  莉莉

- Happy Valentine's Day, Daddy. - Happy Valentine's Day, Lily.

 

48

00:02:00,140 --> 00:02:02,020

发现什么特别的了吗

Notice anything different?

 

49

00:02:02,870 --> 00:02:04,530

-真有爱  -有爱而已吗

- Oh, that is cute. - Cute?

 

50

00:02:04,660 --> 00:02:06,700

我们花了很长时间打扮呢

We spent a lot of time on this.

 

51

00:02:06,790 --> 00:02:07,410

我可没看出来  

I don't see how. 

 

52

00:02:07,410 --> 00:02:09,290

你只是拆了一条羽毛围巾而已

You just cut up one of your boas.

 

53

00:02:09,380 --> 00:02:11,750

其实  我们重新改造了一下

Uh- Actually, no. We repurposed it.

 

54

00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,460

我们走的是名人混搭风

It was sort of a Bob Mackie meets Martha Stewart project.

 

55

00:02:14,550 --> 00:02:16,710

好吧  我们还以为能给你个惊喜呢

Okay. Well, we just thought it would be a nice surprise.

 

56

00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:18,310

其实没什么好惊喜的

It's hardly a surprise. I mean,

 

57

00:02:18,310 --> 00:02:20,010

逢年过节你都会把她打扮一番

you dress her up for every holiday.

 

58

00:02:20,090 --> 00:02:21,590

我昨晚给她洗澡时

I was giving her a bath last night,

 

59

00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:23,810

我发现马丁·路德·金的妆还在呢

and I still saw traces of Martin Luther King behind her ear.

 

60

00:02:23,890 --> 00:02:25,260

好吧  你不喜欢  我们懂了

All right. Not in the spirit. We get it. 

 

61

00:02:25,260 --> 00:02:26,560

不不  对不起

No, I'm-I'm sorry.

 

62

00:02:26,640 --> 00:02:28,560

不  你弄得很好看  只是我

No. It's adorable. I just-

 

63

00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:30,560

我真的很担心我的结案陈词

I'm really nervous about my closing argument.

 

64

00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:31,340

你都练了好几个星期了

Oh, you've been rehearsing for weeks. 

 

65

00:02:31,340 --> 00:02:32,770

你会发挥出色的

You're gonna be great.

 

66

00:02:32,900 --> 00:02:33,660

但愿如此吧

Let's hope so. 

 

67

00:02:33,660 --> 00:02:35,020

对了  我在想

Hey, and I was wondering-

 

68

00:02:35,150 --> 00:02:36,180

既然你一整天都要在法院里

since you're gonna be in court all day- 

 

69

00:02:36,180 --> 00:02:37,990

你想吃巧克力就先吃吧

You can open the chocolates.

 

70

00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:40,010

好极了

Score.

 

71

00:02:43,450 --> 00:02:44,620

你好  迪兰

Hi, Dylan. 

 

72

00:02:44,620 --> 00:02:47,500

邓菲太太  情人节快乐

Happy Valentine's Day, Mrs. Dunphy.

 

73

00:02:47,580 --> 00:02:50,790

迪兰  谢谢啊  你真贴心

Oh. Dylan, thank you. That is so sweet.

 

74

00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:54,340

要是所有老女人都像你这样有气质就好了

You know, all women should look as tasty as you when they're old.

 

75

00:02:54,420 --> 00:02:56,090

这话听着怪怪的

Huh. Conflicted.

 

76

00:02:56,170 --> 00:02:57,630

嘿  宝贝儿

Hey, baby.

 

77

00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:00,800

这份礼物代表了我对你的钟情

Hey. Take this sweet gift as a token of my affection,

 

78

00:03:00,890 --> 00:03:02,800

对你的爱慕和无尽的爱意

my unending love and admiration-

 

79

00:03:02,890 --> 00:03:04,800

我的天  真大啊

Oh, my God. Yay, it's big!

 

80

00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:08,180

天呐

Oh, my God.

 

81

00:03:08,270 --> 00:03:11,060

爱死了  这是我见过最漂亮的东西

I love it. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

 

82

00:03:11,060 --> 00:03:13,040

你得用紫外灯照着看看[精液斑斑]

Seriously, you gotta put a black light on it. 

 

83

00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:15,770

会美得让你犯晕呢

It'll blow your mind.

 

84

00:03:15,860 --> 00:03:17,820

迪兰  原来你还会画画啊

Wow! Dylan, I didn't know you could paint. 

 

85

00:03:17,820 --> 00:03:19,710

不不  我只是照了张照片

Oh, I didn't. I just took a photo 

 

86

00:03:19,710 --> 00:03:20,830

然后用软件处理了一下

and I put it through this program 

 

87

00:03:20,830 --> 00:03:22,320

就把它变成画了

that turns it into a painting.

 

88

00:03:23,490 --> 00:03:25,870

所以你们还真的做过

So you two actually did...

 

89

00:03:25,950 --> 00:03:27,950

-那个  -嗯嗯

- that. - Uh-huh.

 

90

00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:29,100

是啊

Yeah.

 

91

00:03:29,100 --> 00:03:30,370

我们把它挂在我床头吧

Let's go put this over my bed.

 

92

00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:32,120

不行  不行

Not- No, no.

 

93

00:03:32,210 --> 00:03:34,210

那东西不能进你闺房

You don't need to be in the bedroom at all.

 

94

00:03:34,290 --> 00:03:36,250

我替你保管

I'll take it.

 

95

00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,460

他比我浪漫吗  迪迪仔

Did he trump me? D-Money.

 

96

00:03:39,550 --> 00:03:42,720

你说呢  他把一张照片做成了一幅画

You tell me. He made a painting out of a photograph one time.

 

97

00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:45,390

而我只是送一张贺卡

I have hand-picked a card,

 

98

00:03:45,470 --> 00:03:47,720

偷偷在浴室的镜子上画一颗心

drawn a heart in the steam on the medicine cabinet,

 

99

00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:49,810

然后带克莱尔去弗里特利餐厅

and taken Claire to Fratelli's,

 

100

00:03:49,890 --> 00:03:51,500

去吃意大利家常菜

a family-style Italian restaurant,

 

101

00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:54,060

17年来一成不变

for 17 years in a row.

 

102

00:03:54,150 --> 00:03:55,460

毫无疑问  他比我浪漫多了

Yeah, he got me. He got me.

 

103

00:04:05,590 --> 00:04:06,920

摩登家庭

第一季第十五集

 

104

00:04:07,790 --> 00:04:09,870

-再见  宝贝  -待会儿见

- Bye, honey. - See you later.

 

105

00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:10,850

待会儿见

See you later. 

 

106

00:04:10,850 --> 00:04:12,660

菲尔  你这是闹哪出

Phil, what is that?

 

107

00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:17,420

我们今晚也不是非要去弗里特利餐厅啦

You know, we don't have to go to Fratelli's tonight.

 

108

00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:20,800

好啊  那你有什么好主意

Okay, what do you have in mind?

 

109

00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:25,110

我嘛  觉得你可以去酒店开房爽一晚

Well, I thought you might enjoy a night at a hotel.

 

110

00:04:26,220 --> 00:04:28,720

好啊  不过你在家带孩子行吗

I would, but would you and the kids be okay?

 

111

00:04:28,850 --> 00:04:31,100

-我也和你去啊  -好的  我懂了

- I meant together. - Yes, I know.

 

112

00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:33,350

我当然懂  明白了

Oh. I know. I know. I got it.

 

113

00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:36,690

那  你意下如何

So, what do you think?

 

114

00:04:37,530 --> 00:04:40,320

我想你今晚就别想睡了

I think you're not getting any sleep tonight,

 

115

00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:43,320

所以你今天上班时好好歇着吧

so you might want to take a nap at work today.

 

116

00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,700

我一向如此

I always do.

 

117

00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:51,620

菲尔  亲爱的

Phil? Sweetie.

 

118

00:04:51,700 --> 00:04:55,520

既然我们要玩点儿情色的

As long as we're talking about being a little bit naughty,

 

119

00:04:55,520 --> 00:05:00,690

你觉得来点儿角色扮演怎样

what would you say to a little role-playing?

 

120

00:05:00,690 --> 00:05:03,090

-角色扮演啊  -嗯嗯

- Role-play? - Mm-hmm.

 

121

00:05:04,260 --> 00:05:05,170

好啊

I'm in. 

 

122

00:05:05,170 --> 00:05:07,680

我去安排孩子们今晚住别人家

I'll set up sleepovers for the kids.

 

123

00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:09,850

那我下班后来接你吧

And I'll swing by after work to pick you up. 

 

124

00:05:09,850 --> 00:05:13,800

不不  要不你到酒店的酒吧去找我呗

No, no. Why don't you meet me in the hotel bar 

 

125

00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:16,810

看看你能不能在哪儿钓到我

and see if you can pick me up there.

 

126

00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:20,900

小心点  小姐  你会唤醒一头沉睡的"雄"狮哦

Careful, lady. You're gonna wake up a sexy sleeping giant.

 

127

00:05:22,430 --> 00:05:24,900

也许我可以扮演雷金纳德·阿普比

Perhaps I'll be Reginald Appleby,

 

128

00:05:25,230 --> 00:05:28,660

一位来参加马球比赛的英国绅士

an English gentleman in town for a polo match.

 

129

00:05:28,780 --> 00:05:29,700

菲尔

Phil.

 

130

00:05:29,700 --> 00:05:33,890

要不  一位来自香港的优雅商人

Or...Honorable businessman from Hong Kong.

 

131

00:05:33,890 --> 00:05:35,240

再说就性趣全无了

Kinda wrecking it.

 

132

00:05:38,790 --> 00:05:40,330

没什么大不了的  克莱尔

It's not a big deal, Claire.

 

133

00:05:40,330 --> 00:05:42,710

我只是个拿皮鞭的驯兽师

I just train tigers for a living.

 

134

00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,760

太重口味了吗

Too... No?

 

135

00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:56,400

这些是玫瑰花瓣吗

Are these rose petals? 

 

136

00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:58,310

是的  为了纪念我们的爱情

Yes, to commemorate our love.

 

137

00:05:58,440 --> 00:05:59,710

我被迫和解[安定下来]

I had to settle. 

 

138

00:05:59,710 --> 00:06:00,940

你妈或许会认为你是"被迫"的

Well, your mom might think so,

 

139

00:06:00,940 --> 00:06:02,090

不过其他人都觉得我是个贤夫哦

but a lot of people think I'm a catch. 

 

140

00:06:02,090 --> 00:06:05,380

不  我是说那案子  我差点儿就要成功了

No. The case. I- I was this close to nailing it,

 

141

00:06:05,380 --> 00:06:08,870

可我的委托人临阵退缩  和解了

and then my client gets scared and settles. 

 

142

00:06:08,870 --> 00:06:11,700

真遗憾  来颗巧克力吧

I'm sorry. Maybe you'd like a chocolate.

 

143

00:06:11,700 --> 00:06:15,020

我可是一颗也没偷吃哦

Notice that I have not eaten any of the chocolates.

 

144

00:06:15,470 --> 00:06:18,640

盒子原本有两层的  你我心里都清楚

There were two levels. You know it and I know it.

 

145

00:06:18,730 --> 00:06:20,900

真是太受打击了

This is so frustrating.

 

146

00:06:20,980 --> 00:06:23,820

我精心准备了有史以来最强的结案陈词

I had one of the greatest closing arguments of all time-

 

147

00:06:23,820 --> 00:06:26,520

控诉"大政府"如何欺压"小人民"

all about the big government rolling over the little guy,

 

148

00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,120

而且我还想好了如何推向高潮

and I even had this great moment at the end...

 

149

00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:31,680

我会指着国徽高呼  "可耻啊"

where I would point to the state seal and I'd say, "Shame!"

 

150

00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:33,640

原来你洗澡时是在练这个啊

Oh, that's what you were doing in the shower.

 

151

00:06:33,770 --> 00:06:35,680

我那时还担心呢

I was a little worried.

 

152

00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:36,790

是曼尼来了

Um, that's Manny. 

 

153

00:06:36,790 --> 00:06:39,250

我答应今晚照看他  希望你别介意

I said we would watch him tonight. I hope you don't mind.

 

154

00:06:39,250 --> 00:06:40,840

我没想到你今天会这么倒霉

I didn't know you were gonna be going through all this.

 

155

00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:42,800

没关系  有个孩子在挺好的

No, it's fine. It might be nice to have him around.

 

156

00:06:42,930 --> 00:06:45,250

他总是能逗我发笑

He always make me laugh. 

 

157

00:06:45,250 --> 00:06:46,250

嗨  曼尼

Hi, Manny.

 

158

00:06:46,250 --> 00:06:48,350

世界又冷酷又无情

The universe is cold and loveless.

 

159

00:06:48,350 --> 00:06:50,860

怎么了  情人节过得不好吗

Uh-oh. Bad Valentine's Day?

 

160

00:06:51,460 --> 00:06:54,550

我追寻我的爱人  菲奥娜·冈德森

I went for the gold- Fiona Gunderson.

 

161

00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:58,540

我倾心吐胆地为她写了首诗  放在她桌子上

I poured my heart and soul into a poem, left it on her desk.

 

162

00:06:58,890 --> 00:07:01,470

我甚至把纸边烧了一下  让它更好看些

I even burned the edges to make it look fancy.

 

163

00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:02,720

她不喜欢吗

And she didn't like it? 

 

164

00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:03,810

她很喜欢

Oh, she loved it.

 

165

00:07:03,890 --> 00:07:06,020

可有个叫德卡斯的小崽子说是他写的

But this kid Durkas told her he wrote it.

 

166

00:07:06,100 --> 00:07:08,610

曼尼  那你为什么不告诉她真相呢

Well, Manny, why-why didn't you just tell her the truth?

 

167

00:07:08,690 --> 00:07:10,120

她那时已经走了

She was already gone.

 

168

00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:12,570

而且他俩要去我最喜欢的餐厅约会

And she's on a date with him at my favorite restaurant, 

 

169

00:07:12,570 --> 00:07:13,320

美奶昔餐厅

Great Shakes.

 

170

00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:14,380

你怎么知道啊

How do you know all this? 

 

171

00:07:14,380 --> 00:07:16,050

我在信里邀请她去那儿的

I invited her in the poem.

 

172

00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:17,300

就在那诗句之后

Right after the line of,

 

173

00:07:17,300 --> 00:07:20,120

"五大湖水深千尺  不及我爱你之情"

"My love is deeper than the Great Lakes."

 

174

00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:22,330

好吧  这简直无法容忍

Okay, well, this is unacceptable. 

 

175

00:07:22,330 --> 00:07:23,550

我的天  又来了

Oh, boy. Here we go.

 

176

00:07:23,550 --> 00:07:24,850

不  其实没什么难的

No, it's not that big of a deal. 

 

177

00:07:24,850 --> 00:07:25,550

接下来我们这么干

This is what we're gonna do.

 

178

00:07:25,550 --> 00:07:27,680

我们去美奶昔餐厅  找张桌子坐下

We're gonna shoot over to Great Shakes, get a table.

 

179

00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:29,460

曼尼去追回他的挚爱

Manny can reclaim the love of his life.

 

180

00:07:29,460 --> 00:07:31,390

你我去弄点好吃的

You and I can get a couple Mudslides.

 

181

00:07:31,470 --> 00:07:33,140

我觉得不太好

I don't know.

 

182

00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:34,370

德卡斯也在那儿

Durkas is gonna be there. 

 

183

00:07:34,370 --> 00:07:36,360

那小崽子可壮了

I've seen the kid do a pull-up.

 

184

00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:38,840

曼尼  今天是情人节

Hey, Manny, it's Valentine's Day.

 

185

00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:40,450

今天不是逃离爱情的日子

It's not the day you run away from love.

 

186

00:07:40,450 --> 00:07:43,060

而是追逐爱情  收获爱情的日子

It's the day you track it down, tie it up and take it home.

 

187

00:07:43,470 --> 00:07:44,820

要是我们能成功

Now, if we can pull this off,

 

188

00:07:44,820 --> 00:07:47,710

你和你的小女朋友就能倚在吧台前

you and your little lady friend will be belly up to a ice cream counter

 

189

00:07:47,710 --> 00:07:49,340

浪漫地共享一杯奶昔

having a milk shake with two straws.

 

190

00:07:49,340 --> 00:07:50,940

你看如何

What do you say?

 

191

00:07:52,070 --> 00:07:52,820

我喜欢

I like it.

 

192

00:07:52,980 --> 00:07:55,070

谢谢  谢谢

Thank you. Thank you.

 

193

00:07:55,150 --> 00:07:57,860

科学家也无法解释这个现象

Scientists- They don't know why this is true,

 

194

00:07:57,950 --> 00:07:59,610

可确实如此

but it's true.

 

195

00:07:59,700 --> 00:08:04,660

大屁股的女人能长寿

Women with big rear ends live longer.

 

196

00:08:04,740 --> 00:08:07,150

但夸女人屁股大的男人会短命

Man who tell 'em that don't.

 

197

00:08:08,540 --> 00:08:10,460

你们听过这么件事没有

Did you read about this man,

 

198

00:08:10,540 --> 00:08:13,670

有个91岁的老头在德州抢银行

a 91 -year old bank robber in Texas?

 

199

00:08:13,750 --> 00:08:15,750

他走进银行

He goes into a bank-

 

200

00:08:17,460 --> 00:08:19,630

"我要干什么来着"

"The hell did I want?"

 

201

00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:23,260

他们照下了四千张他逃离银行的照片

They had over 4,000 photos of him escaping from the bank.

 

202

00:08:26,890 --> 00:08:30,770

是吧  他很逗  对吧

See? He's funny, huh?

 

203

00:08:40,900 --> 00:08:43,200

能坐你旁边吗

Mind if I join you?

 

204

00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:46,200

我叫克里夫  克里夫·比克斯比

I'm Clive. Clive Bixby.

 

205

00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:50,460

我看到了  我叫朱莉安娜

Yes, I can see that. I'm Juliana.

 

206

00:08:50,540 --> 00:08:53,080

克里夫  你是来这儿开会的

So, Clive, you in town for a convention,

 

207

00:08:53,170 --> 00:08:55,880

还是只是老记不住自己的名字

or do you just forget your name a lot?

 

208

00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:58,590

性感小野猫爪子挺锋利嘛

Pretty kitty has nails.

 

209

00:08:58,670 --> 00:09:00,590

我喜欢

I like that.

 

210

00:09:02,180 --> 00:09:04,090

我是来参加交易会的

I'm in town for a trade show.

 

211

00:09:04,180 --> 00:09:08,390

我设计高级电声转换器

I design high-end electroacoustic transducers.

 

212

00:09:08,470 --> 00:09:10,520

那可真是

Wow, that is very...

 

213

00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:11,940

特别啊

specific.

 

214

00:09:13,100 --> 00:09:16,480

意思是我能让东西叫出声

It's a fancy way of saying I get things to make noise.

 

215

00:09:18,610 --> 00:09:20,940

那你呢

So, what's your story?

 

216

00:09:21,990 --> 00:09:24,310

你是选美佳丽吗

Miss America Pageant in town?

 

217

00:09:24,690 --> 00:09:27,910

你跟女人搭讪很顺溜啊  克里夫

You're a pretty smooth talker, Clive.

 

218

00:09:27,990 --> 00:09:30,500

我全身上下都很"顺溜"

I'm pretty smooth all over.

 

219

00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:33,960

先生  本餐厅禁止吸烟

Sir, there's no smoking in here.

 

220

00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:36,830

好的  其实我也不抽烟

Oh, that's fine. I'm not actually a smoker.

 

221

00:09:40,510 --> 00:09:43,170

你真像个小童子军  克里夫

You're quite the Boy Scout, Clive.

 

222

00:09:43,260 --> 00:09:44,580

我问你  今晚你有没兴趣

Tell me, would you be interested in 

 

223

00:09:44,580 --> 00:09:47,390

来赢一枚小勋章呢

earning a merit badge tonight?

 

224

00:09:47,470 --> 00:09:50,680

你会捆绑  会打结吗

Do you know anything about tying knots?

 

225

00:09:51,770 --> 00:09:55,690

我或许不该找你聊天的

I probably shouldn't be talking to you.

 

226

00:09:55,810 --> 00:09:57,770

我是有妇之夫

I'm a married man.

 

227

00:09:57,860 --> 00:10:01,860

正好  我就喜欢有妇之夫

Well, I just so happen to like married men.

 

228

00:10:01,990 --> 00:10:03,130

跟我说说你妻子吧

Tell me about your wife. 

 

229

00:10:03,130 --> 00:10:05,110

她非常漂亮  必须的

Well, she's beautiful, of course.

 

230

00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:07,500

是吗  既然她那么漂亮

Really? Well, if she's so very beautiful,

 

231

00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:08,910

你怎么会跟我在一起呢

why are you here with me?

 

232

00:10:08,990 --> 00:10:10,910

因为她总是很疲惫

Because she's always so tired...

 

233

00:10:10,990 --> 00:10:14,370

而且她总是忙着使唤我干活儿

and she's always making lists of things for me to do.

 

234

00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:17,050

也许如果你听她使唤  她就不会这么累了

Maybe if you did them she wouldn't be so tired. 

 

235

00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:20,420

不  她吩咐的事根本做不完

Oh no. She can make list for days.

 

236

00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:22,880

不过说回你的性感双唇

But back to your mouth and how sexy it is.

 

237

00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:25,530

不不  我倒是想说回那些"使唤"

Mm-mmm. I wanna go back to these alleged lists 

 

238

00:10:25,530 --> 00:10:26,820

还有你那唠叨的妻子

and your nagging wife.

 

239

00:10:26,820 --> 00:10:28,640

我不是在说你

I'm not talking about you.

 

240

00:10:30,850 --> 00:10:32,770

我不是那个意思  再重来一次好吗

I didn't mean that. Can we try this again?

 

241

00:10:32,850 --> 00:10:34,850

好吧

Yeah.

 

242

00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:40,760

那既然你妻子这么漂亮

So if your wife is so beautiful,

 

243

00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:43,310

你怎么会跟我在一起呢

why are you here with me?

 

244

00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:46,650

因为

Because...

 

245

00:10:46,740 --> 00:10:49,430

我太疼她了

I respect her too much...

 

246

00:10:49,430 --> 00:10:51,660

所以我不忍对她下手

to do to her...

 

247

00:10:51,740 --> 00:10:54,530

像对你般地蹂躏她

what I'm going to do to you?

 

248

00:10:54,830 --> 00:10:56,560

噢  中大奖了

Oh, jackpot.

 

249

00:10:57,980 --> 00:11:00,580

我一会儿就回来  克里夫

I'll be right back, Clive.

 

250

00:11:09,810 --> 00:11:11,980

你发现她了吗  她在这儿吗

Do you have eyes on her? Is she here?

 

251

00:11:12,060 --> 00:11:14,270

两点钟方向  坐在后排桌子的金发女生

Two o'clock- blonde at the back table.

 

252

00:11:14,350 --> 00:11:16,900

明白  发现目标了

Yep. I have a visual.

 

253

00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:19,570

别再用这种军事用语了  完毕

Let's not talk like that anymore. Over.

 

254

00:11:19,650 --> 00:11:22,570

好  就这么干  我要去赢回我的爱人

Okay, this is it. I'm off to win the heart of my beloved.

 

255

00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:26,330

这真是件好事

Well, this is nice.

 

256

00:11:26,330 --> 00:11:28,570

如果没法好好过自己的情人节

I mean, if we can't have our own Valentine's Day,

 

257

00:11:28,570 --> 00:11:30,200

能帮别人过个好节也不错

it's nice that we can give somebody else one.

 

258

00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:31,790

好吧  小卡  对不起

All right, Cam. I'm sorry.

 

259

00:11:31,870 --> 00:11:33,790

我很抱歉  忽视了你的精心安排

I'm sor- I'm sorry I have not been attentive.

 

260

00:11:33,870 --> 00:11:35,500

过去五个月来

I've been spending the last five months...

 

261

00:11:35,580 --> 00:11:36,910

我呕心沥血

pouring my core beliefs 

 

262

00:11:36,910 --> 00:11:38,880

写出了自己最棒的讲稿

into the greatest speech that I will ever write,

 

263

00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:41,030

但一切努力却付诸东流

and then that moment gets taken away.

 

264

00:11:41,420 --> 00:11:42,670

老弟  情况如何

Hey, buddy. How'd it go?

 

265

00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:45,620

我做不来  德卡斯在那儿呢

I can't do it, not while Durkas is there.

 

266

00:11:45,690 --> 00:11:48,880

他有种天生的自信  我对他又敬又怕

He has the natural confidence. I admire it and fear it.

 

267

00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,670

我们会搞定他的  我们得计划一下

We will deal with him directly. We need a plan.

 

268

00:11:54,550 --> 00:11:56,760

你敢再戏剧化一点吗

Could you be more dramatic?

 

269

00:11:58,850 --> 00:12:00,670

我们得计划一下

We need a plan.

 

270

00:12:02,060 --> 00:12:03,210

在俄勒冈州

In Oregon,

 

271

00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:07,140

立法会颁布了一项法令

the state legislature ratified a, uh, bill...

 

272

00:12:07,140 --> 00:12:08,700

规定从今往后 

that from now on 

 

273

00:12:08,700 --> 00:12:13,080

人和动物发生性关系将被视为犯罪

it is a crime to have sex in Oregon with a farm animal.

 

274

00:12:14,190 --> 00:12:17,490

俄勒冈的女人是有多丑啊

How ugly are the women in Oregon?

 

275

00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:21,390

杰  他太逗了

He's funny, Jay. 

 

276

00:12:21,390 --> 00:12:22,710

对啊  没说错吧

I know. See?

 

277

00:12:22,710 --> 00:12:25,090

-我看得出来  你肯定不是从俄勒冈来的  -不是

- I can tell you're not- you're not from Oregon. -No.

 

278

00:12:25,090 --> 00:12:28,130

-你美极了  -谢谢

- You are gorgeous. - Thank you.

 

279

00:12:28,210 --> 00:12:30,630

谢谢你带你爸爸来看我表演

Thank you for bringing your father to the show.

 

280

00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:33,180

不对  我是她丈夫   大卫

Oh, no. I'm her husband, Dave.

 

281

00:12:33,260 --> 00:12:35,050

-没开玩笑吧  -没呢

- No kidding. - Yeah.

 

282

00:12:35,140 --> 00:12:36,640

和他结婚的感觉如何啊

What's it like to be married to someone 

 

283

00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:38,640

那家伙估计和《圣经》一样老了吧

who was there when the Bible was written?

 

284

00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:43,520

你们那时候叫什么  就叫《箴言录》吗

What was it called then? Just "The Testament"?

 

285

00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:47,270

真是  真是有意思

That's, uh- That's- That's good stuff.

 

286

00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:49,780

现在他就想关灯睡觉了

Oh, now he's trying to turn out the light.

 

287

00:12:56,660 --> 00:12:58,790

有电话找您  在那边

Phone call. Over there.

 

288

00:13:00,910 --> 00:13:03,230

-喂  -喂  您好

- Hello? - Uh, yes. Hello.

 

289

00:13:03,230 --> 00:13:05,000

-是德卡斯先生吗  -是我

- Mr. Durkas? - Yeah.

 

290

00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,290

我是唐·卓立

This is Don Jolly...

 

291

00:13:06,380 --> 00:13:07,690

我是"美奶昔"公司的

with the Great Shakes corporate office,

 

292

00:13:07,690 --> 00:13:09,270

我有个好消息告诉您

and I have good news for you.

 

293

00:13:09,270 --> 00:13:12,710

您被抽中参与我们的调查

You have been selected to take part in a random survey...

 

294

00:13:12,710 --> 00:13:14,630

而且您将获得现金奖励

that you could win cash and prizes.

 

295

00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:16,720

您有兴趣参加我们的活动吗

Does that sound like something you'd be interested in?

 

296

00:13:16,850 --> 00:13:18,630

好啊  当然

Yeah, sure. 

 

297

00:13:18,630 --> 00:13:20,880

好的  我们只是问您几个小问题

Okay, just a few simple questions for you.

 

298

00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:23,960

您能否根据自己的喜好

Would you please rank your favorite ice creams 

 

299

00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:26,350

把美奶昔的冰激凌排一下序

at Great Shakes from least favorite to favorite?

 

300

00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:28,180

我其实也不太熟悉产品

I don't know 'em by heart.

 

301

00:13:28,180 --> 00:13:30,230

您右手边应该就有一本菜单

There should be a menu right there to your right.

 

302

00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:33,190

在你右边  好了  开始吧

To your right. Mm-hmm. There you go.

 

303

00:13:35,660 --> 00:13:37,620

你好  曼尼

Oh. Hi, Manny. 

 

304

00:13:37,620 --> 00:13:39,830

你好  菲奥娜  我能坐下吗

Hi, Fiona. Can I join you?

 

305

00:13:39,830 --> 00:13:41,370

-可以吧  -谢谢

- I guess so. -Thanks.

 

306

00:13:43,870 --> 00:13:46,700

你不必担心他会出轨  那是肯定的

And you don't have to worry about him cheating. That's for sure.

 

307

00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:48,970

如果他出轨了  你肯定会发现的

Because if he does, you'll catch him...

 

308

00:13:48,970 --> 00:13:51,570

因为他回家时嘴里肯定有两副假牙

when he comes home with two sets of teeth in his mouth.

 

309

00:13:52,670 --> 00:13:53,520

是啊

Yeah.

 

310

00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:56,070

给我们说说  他在新婚之夜表现如何

So tell me, on the wedding night, what-what did he do?

 

311

00:13:56,070 --> 00:13:58,040

他是不是说想换个舒服的做爱姿势

Did he say he wanted to change into something comfortable 

 

312

00:13:58,040 --> 00:13:59,040

然后就一睡不起了

and go into a coma? 

 

313

00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:01,950

-我想去去洗手间  -别去嘛

- Listen, I gotta use the men's room. - Nuh-uh. 

 

314

00:14:01,950 --> 00:14:03,640

我必须去一趟  马上就回来

I gotta use the men's room. I'll be right back.

 

315

00:14:03,730 --> 00:14:04,980

你要去哪儿  等会儿

Where you going? Wait a minute.

 

316

00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:06,730

我只是开玩笑的  我就是干这个的

I'm only joking. That's what I do.

 

317

00:14:06,810 --> 00:14:08,650

你比我可年轻多了

You know, you're way younger than I am.

 

318

00:14:08,730 --> 00:14:10,570

你只是看着显老

You just don't look it.

 

319

00:14:17,110 --> 00:14:21,200

克里夫  我有点儿小东西给你

Clive, I have a little something for you.

 

320

00:14:21,290 --> 00:14:23,620

是什么

What is it?

 

321

00:14:25,410 --> 00:14:26,780

我的裙子

My dress.

 

322

00:14:28,290 --> 00:14:31,750

-我的胸罩  -我的天

- My bra. - Oh, my g-

 

323

00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:33,840

我的小内内

My underwear.

 

324

00:14:35,630 --> 00:14:37,550

-我的天  -嗯嗯

- My God. - Yeah.

 

325

00:14:37,630 --> 00:14:41,130

要不我们拿着这些上楼去吧

What do you say we take this upstairs?

 

326

00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:44,050

这比吃意大利菜好太多了

This is so much better than cheesy garlic bread.

 

327

00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:49,130

-巧克力味  -好的  继续

- Chocolate. - Uh-huh. Go on.

 

328

00:14:49,220 --> 00:14:51,140

-香草味  -我正记着呢

- Vanilla. - I'm taking copious notes.

 

329

00:14:51,220 --> 00:14:53,060

您继续说  德卡斯先生

Keep goin', Mr. Durkas.

 

330

00:14:53,140 --> 00:14:55,890

如果诗不是泰德写的  他为什么骗人呢

So, why would Ted say he wrote the poem if he didn't?

 

331

00:14:55,980 --> 00:14:57,890

也许是因为你是校花

Maybe because you're the cutest girl in school,

 

332

00:14:57,980 --> 00:15:00,980

而且你回眸一笑就倾国倾城

and you have a laugh that makes science lab seem like recess.

 

333

00:15:04,050 --> 00:15:06,370

那你愿不愿意 

Would you be more or less inclined 

 

334

00:15:06,370 --> 00:15:08,140

去"美奶昔"公司做客

to visit a Great Shakes establishment...

 

335

00:15:08,220 --> 00:15:10,600

如果你事先知道你的愿望都会被满足

if you knew your satisfaction was guaranteed?

 

336

00:15:10,730 --> 00:15:12,100

-真是个傻逼问题  -不好意思

- That's a dumb question. - Excuse me.

 

337

00:15:12,100 --> 00:15:13,390

我这问题不傻逼  先生

It is not a dumb question, Mr. -

 

338

00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:16,310

-该死  他挂了  -那你不必装那口音了

- Tarnation! He hung up. - Then you can drop the accent.

 

339

00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:20,530

迪尔加多  你在这儿干嘛

Delgado. What are you doing here?

 

340

00:15:20,610 --> 00:15:24,380

在讨论诗歌呢  你想背诵一下你的作品吗

Discussing poetry. Maybe you'll like to recite some of yours.

 

341

00:15:24,380 --> 00:15:25,910

我才不背什么东西呢

I'm not gonna recite anything.

 

342

00:15:25,990 --> 00:15:27,990

承认吧  那首诗根本不是你写的

Just admit you didn't write the poem.

 

343

00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:29,580

我不知道他在说什么

I don't know what he's talking about.

 

344

00:15:29,660 --> 00:15:31,370

赶紧滚蛋  别逼我揍你一顿

Get out of here before you get your butt kicked.

 

345

00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:33,580

-我要过去一下  -不  我来吧

- I'm going over there. - No, I got this.

 

346

00:15:37,210 --> 00:15:40,000

喂  喂  先生  先生  转回去

Whoa! Whoa, sir! Sir? Turn around.

 

347

00:15:40,090 --> 00:15:41,940

先生  你无权

Sir, you have no right

 

348

00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:44,130

把他人的作品据为己有

to claim ownership of another person's work.

 

349

00:15:44,220 --> 00:15:45,290

你算老几

Who are you? 

 

350

00:15:45,290 --> 00:15:47,130

我是个律师

I'm a lawyer.

 

351

00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,550

你还有律师啊

You have a lawyer?

 

352

00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:50,930

你说谎是一回事

It is one thing to lie,

 

353

00:15:51,020 --> 00:15:53,600

但你竟然接着又欺负这位年轻人  简直不可饶恕

but then to bully this young man- it's unforgivable.

 

354

00:15:53,730 --> 00:15:55,640

这就是当今世界的不公平

And this is what's wrong with the world today.

 

355

00:15:55,730 --> 00:15:57,810

大块头

The big guy...

 

356

00:15:57,900 --> 00:15:59,810

自以为能凌驾于小家伙之上

thinks that he can roll right over the little guy...

 

357

00:15:59,900 --> 00:16:03,700

直到小家伙说"够了"

until the little guy says, "Enough."

 

358

00:16:03,700 --> 00:16:05,240

而那正是这位小家伙要做的

And that's what this little guy's doing-

 

359

00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:07,490

就在此时  此刻

right here, right now.

 

360

00:16:07,570 --> 00:16:09,950

能别再叫我"小家伙"了吗  我还不算矮的呢

Can we stop calling me "Little guy"? I'm in the 40th percentile.

 

361

00:16:10,030 --> 00:16:11,320

嘘  看我的吧

Shh. I got this.

 

362

00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:15,750

泰德·德卡斯  显然没有写那首诗

Ted Durkas clearly did not write that poem.

 

363

00:16:15,830 --> 00:16:18,960

我清楚  他心里也清楚

I know it. He knows it.

 

364

00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:21,130

你好好问问自己  菲奥娜

Deep down in your heart, Fiona-

 

365

00:16:22,580 --> 00:16:24,160

你一定也清楚

You know it too.

 

366

00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:31,050

可耻啊

Shame!

 

367

00:16:31,140 --> 00:16:33,140

好吧  随便了  我是偷了他的傻逼诗

Fine! Whatever. I stole his stupid poem.

 

368

00:16:33,220 --> 00:16:34,990

-你偷的  -我就说嘛

- You did? - I told you.

 

369

00:16:35,180 --> 00:16:36,000

认罪吧

There you go.

 

370

00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,940

我这么做  是因为我有此深情

I only did it because I had the feelings,

 

371

00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:41,270

我只是不知道如何向你表达

I just didn't know how to show 'em.

 

372

00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:45,690

真的吗  从来没人对我做如此甜蜜的事

Really? That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me.

 

373

00:16:46,650 --> 00:16:48,400

开什么玩笑啊

You've gotta be kidding me.

 

374

00:16:48,490 --> 00:16:51,590

-走吧  这妞儿是个二逼青年  -绝对的

- Let's get out of here. This chick's crazy. - Seriously.

 

375

00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:53,440

我从没见过你如此霸气啊

I've never seen you like that.

 

376

00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:55,250

你无法想象那种感觉有多爽

You have no idea how good that felt.

 

377

00:16:55,330 --> 00:16:58,250

情人节快乐  律师先生

Well, happy Valentine's Day, counselor.

 

378

00:16:58,460 --> 00:17:01,000

我们发展得真快啊  朱莉安娜

This is all happening so fast, Juliana.

 

379

00:17:01,090 --> 00:17:04,050

是啊  而且我午夜之前必须赶回家陪老公

I know, and I have to be home to my husband by midnight.

 

380

00:17:04,130 --> 00:17:06,380

哟  纠结的剧情

Ooh, a twist.

 

381

00:17:08,630 --> 00:17:11,180

菲尔  菲尔  我的外套卡住了

Phil! Phil, my coat is stuck.

 

382

00:17:11,300 --> 00:17:12,930

-菲尔是谁  -不  别闹了  认真点儿

- Who's Phil? - No, not now! Seriously.

 

383

00:17:13,060 --> 00:17:15,220

-我的外套卡住了  -宝贝  快把外套脱掉

- My coat is stuck. - Oh, oh. Honey, take off your coat!

 

384

00:17:15,350 --> 00:17:17,640

-开什么玩笑啊  快拔  -我的天啊

- Are you kidding me? Pull it. - Oh, my goodness.

 

385

00:17:17,730 --> 00:17:20,020

快拔  用力  用力

Pull it. Come on. Come on.

 

386

00:17:20,100 --> 00:17:22,190

天呐  这回完了  这回完了

Oh, boy. Not good. Not good.

 

387

00:17:24,110 --> 00:17:26,690

好了  好了  好了

Okay. Okay. Okay.

 

388

00:17:26,780 --> 00:17:28,740

快上来吧  就当是爬楼梯了

Come on up. Treat 'em like they're regular stairs.

 

389

00:17:28,820 --> 00:17:30,490

-没事了  -快过去吧

- It's okay. - Come on through.

 

390

00:17:30,570 --> 00:17:33,030

情人节快乐  您真美

Happy Valentine's Day. You look lovely.

 

391

00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:35,160

-您也美  我没别的意思  -我懂

- So do you. Not in a weird way. - Yeah.

 

392

00:17:35,290 --> 00:17:36,870

-你好  嗨  -嗨

- How are you? Hi. - Hi.

 

393

00:17:36,950 --> 00:17:38,480

-情人节快乐  -让我来弄弄

- Happy Valentine's- - Let me just get in here. 

 

394

00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:39,250

让我来弄弄

Let me get in here.

 

395

00:17:39,250 --> 00:17:40,420

-好的  -菲尔

- Okay? - Phil?

 

396

00:17:40,540 --> 00:17:42,130

-嘿  汤姆  -嘿

- Hey, Tom. - Hi.

 

397

00:17:42,210 --> 00:17:44,000

你好啊  亲爱的

How are you? Honey

 

398

00:17:44,090 --> 00:17:46,480

克莱尔  还记得我同事汤姆·麦克森吗

Claire, you remember Tom Mickleson from the office

 

399

00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:48,810

-还有他妻子  苏珊  -记得  你们好  

- and his wife, Susan. - I do. Hey.

 

400

00:17:48,820 --> 00:17:49,590

你的外套卡住了吗

Is your coat stuck?

 

401

00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:53,220

是啊  卡得死死的了

It is. It really is. It's in there pretty darn good.

 

402

00:17:53,350 --> 00:17:54,630

何不脱下来呢

Why don't you take it off? 

 

403

00:17:54,630 --> 00:17:57,600

我...觉得很冷

Um, I'm freezing cold.

 

404

00:17:57,680 --> 00:17:59,140

来吧  让我试试

At least let me give it a shot.

 

405

00:17:59,270 --> 00:18:01,850

-不必了吧  -没事没事  看我的

- Oh, I don't think... - No, no, no. I got it.

 

406

00:18:01,980 --> 00:18:03,520

-邓菲先生  夫人  -嗨

- Mr. And Mrs. Dunphy? - Hey.

 

407

00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:06,180

-巴拉班校长  -你好啊

- Principal Balaban. - Hey, how are you?

 

408

00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,800

克里夫·比克斯比是谁啊

Who's Clive Bixby?

 

409

00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:11,940

他是个推销扩音器的

Oh, uh, he makes speakers.

 

410

00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:14,570

-他是来参加交易会的  -菲尔

- He's actually in town for a trade show. - Phil.

 

411

00:18:14,700 --> 00:18:16,140

天  你被卡住了吗

My, are you stuck? 

 

412

00:18:16,140 --> 00:18:17,870

是啊  有点儿

Yeah, I am. A little bit.

 

413

00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,020

何不把外套脱了呢

Why don't you take off that coat? 

 

414

00:18:19,020 --> 00:18:20,250

我怕冷

Um, I'm chilly.

 

415

00:18:20,330 --> 00:18:22,210

真是卡死在这儿了

It's really jammed in here.

 

416

00:18:22,330 --> 00:18:24,920

-让我过去试试  我帮你  -不必了  我们没事

- Let me in there. I'll get you. - No, I think we're okay.

 

417

00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,050

邓菲太太

Mrs. Dunphy?

 

418

00:18:27,130 --> 00:18:29,260

开什么玩笑啊

Are you kidding me?

 

419

00:18:29,340 --> 00:18:32,340

嗨  这位是卢克的数学老师  帕斯沃小姐

Hi! Luke's math teacher, Ms. Passwater.

 

420

00:18:32,430 --> 00:18:34,090

"拍死我"

"Passwater."

 

421

00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:38,560

老杰  别在意他说的

Ah, Jay, papi, don't pay attention to what he's saying.

 

422

00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:39,810

他只是开玩笑的

He's just being funny. 

 

423

00:18:39,810 --> 00:18:41,490

但他说的是事实

Because he points out the truth.

 

424

00:18:41,490 --> 00:18:44,130

观众们笑是因为他们也觉得确实如此

Those people were laughing because they saw it too.

 

425

00:18:44,130 --> 00:18:46,170

-你干嘛在意他们怎么想  -我不在意

- What do you care what they think? - I don't.

 

426

00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:48,780

我在意你怎么想

I care what you think.

 

427

00:18:48,780 --> 00:18:50,530

我爱你  你是我的爱人

I love you. You're my valentine. 

 

428

00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:51,440

只是现在而已

Yeah, for now.

 

429

00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:52,830

等我80岁了呢  

But what about when I'm 80 

 

430

00:18:52,830 --> 00:18:54,790

我坐在轮椅上  插着氧气管

and I'm in a wheelchair, on oxygen?

 

431

00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:56,380

你还会要我吗

You still gonna want me?

 

432

00:18:56,460 --> 00:18:57,430

你以为我如此肤浅吗

Do you think I'm so shallow

 

433

00:18:57,430 --> 00:18:59,220

你老了我就会抛弃你吗

that I'm gonna leave you when you're old?

 

434

00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:02,900

如果我胖了100磅  你会抛弃我吗

What if I gain a hundred pounds? You gonna leave me then?

 

435

00:19:03,940 --> 00:19:06,180

-不会  -你怎么犹豫了一下

- No. - What's with the pause?

 

436

00:19:06,180 --> 00:19:07,800

你这假设不公平啊

Well, it's not exactly fair. 

 

437

00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:10,330

我变老是必然的  可你不一定会变胖

I mean, I have to get old. You don't have to get fat. 

 

438

00:19:10,330 --> 00:19:11,820

要是我想变胖  就能变胖

If I want to get fat, I get fat.

 

439

00:19:11,820 --> 00:19:12,930

那好  如果你胖了  

Okay, fine. And if you do, 

 

440

00:19:12,930 --> 00:19:14,230

我也会守着你  不信你试试

I'll be there. You'll see.

 

441

00:19:14,230 --> 00:19:16,650

是啊  你看我怎么变胖

Yeah, watch me. Watch me, how I get fat.

 

442

00:19:17,730 --> 00:19:20,360

-我能变胖的  -那我也会守着你

- I can get fat. - And I'll be there.

 

443

00:19:22,180 --> 00:19:23,480

很好

Good.

 

444

00:19:24,430 --> 00:19:26,100

-你还想回去看戏吗  -不去了

- You wanna go back in? - No.

 

445

00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:27,540

我有个更好的主意

I got a better idea.

 

446

00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:31,060

我们去跳莎莎舞吧  那家伙也不怎么有趣

Let's go salsa dancing. This guy's not that funny.

 

447

00:19:31,750 --> 00:19:33,360

好极了

Perfect.

 

448

00:19:34,330 --> 00:19:36,540

好了  好了  我打给维修部了

We're good! We're good! I talked to Maintenance.

 

449

00:19:36,630 --> 00:19:39,230

他们  他们马上就来  大家忙去吧

They're- They're- They're coming, so go on ahead.

 

450

00:19:39,860 --> 00:19:41,250

再见  回头见吧

See you guys. See you later.

 

451

00:19:41,340 --> 00:19:43,380

学校里见  见到你们真开心

See you in school. Good to see you guys.

 

452

00:19:43,470 --> 00:19:45,090

维修部的人会解决的

Maintenance is gonna take care of it.

 

453

00:19:45,220 --> 00:19:48,300

-我们得救了  -好吧  好吧  他们要多久才到

- So we're fine. - Okay. Okay, how long till they get here?

 

454

00:19:48,390 --> 00:19:50,390

我是骗他们的  没人来救我们

I was faking it. No one's coming for us.

 

455

00:19:50,470 --> 00:19:52,820

那就去找人啊  快点儿

Well, then, go and get them! Hurry!

 

456

00:19:52,820 --> 00:19:55,270

此刻是我这辈子最糗的时刻

That was the most embarrassing moment of my life.

 

457

00:19:55,350 --> 00:19:57,310

克莱尔  菲尔

Claire! Phil!

 

458

00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:00,150

淡定

Stand by.

 

459

00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:03,620

怎么了  腰带卡住了吗

What, did you get your belt stuck? 

 

460

00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:05,080

是啊  卡住了

I did. Yeah.

 

461

00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:06,900

那把外套脱了呗  我帮你吧

Take your coat off. Here, let me help you.

 

462

00:20:06,900 --> 00:20:08,740

-别别  老爸  我没事  -得了吧

- No, no, Dad. Dad, I'm fine. - Come on!

 

463

00:20:08,820 --> 00:20:10,490

莫非你里面没穿衣服吗

What are you, naked under there?

 

464

00:20:11,950 --> 00:20:14,830

-我靠  -没关系

- Aw, geez. - It's okay.

 

465

00:20:14,910 --> 00:20:17,290

-让我来吧  -好吧

- I got this. - Okay.

 

466

00:20:17,370 --> 00:20:19,330

-克莱尔  照我说的办  -好的

- Claire, follow my lead. - Okay.

 

467

00:20:20,540 --> 00:20:22,210

好吧

Okay.

 

468

00:20:28,630 --> 00:20:30,380

-哇塞  -好了

- Wow. - Okay.

 

469

00:20:31,470 --> 00:20:34,370

-谢谢  -我以前也有同样的经历

- Thank you. - It has happened to me before.

 

470

00:20:35,030 --> 00:20:37,270

她真有一手啊

That was impressive.

 

471

00:20:37,350 --> 00:20:39,060

克里夫  下次玩点正常的吧

Take it down a notch, Clive.

 

472

00:20:40,730 --> 00:20:42,940

-你还好吧  -嗯  挺好

- You okay? - Yeah. I'm good.

 

473

00:20:43,060 --> 00:20:44,310

-好吧  -我没事

- All right. - I'm good.

 

474

00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:46,110

-情人节快乐  -情人节快乐

- Happy Valentine's Day. - Happy Valentine's Day.

 

475

00:20:46,230 --> 00:20:47,570

-再见  -再见

- Chao. - Okay. See ya.

 

476

00:20:47,690 --> 00:20:48,860

再见  晚安

Bye. Good night.

 

477

00:20:48,990 --> 00:20:50,700

哎呀妈呀

Oh. That's-

 

478

00:20:50,780 --> 00:20:53,740

不好意思  再见吧

Sorry. See you, guys.

 

479

00:20:56,910 --> 00:20:58,490

喂  宝贝

Hi, honey.

 

480

00:20:58,580 --> 00:21:01,410

嗨  我就是想告诉你  你昨晚真棒

Hey, I just wanted to tell you how great you were last night.

 

481

00:21:01,540 --> 00:21:05,460

-菲尔  -对不起  我把油弄得到处都是

- Uh, Phil... - Sorry I got the, uh- the oil everywhere, but, hey"

 

482

00:21:05,590 --> 00:21:08,670

-亲爱的  -幸好不是自家的床单

- Uh, sweetie. - They're not our sheets, right?

 

483

00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:10,840

宝贝  还记得卖车的人怎么说的吗

Honey- Honey, remember when the salesman told us...

 

484

00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:13,130

他说"丰田塞纳是适合全家人的车"

that the Sienna was built with the whole family in mind?

 

485

00:21:13,260 --> 00:21:15,470

全家人都听见你刚刚说的话了

Yeah. Well, the whole family just heard that.

 

486

00:21:15,550 --> 00:21:18,100

囧  看来

Uh- Uh- Guess-

 

487

00:21:18,180 --> 00:21:20,140

看来蓝牙对讲挺好用的嘛

I guess the Bluetooth works.

 

488

00:21:20,270 --> 00:21:23,350

-嗯嗯  -你们用油干嘛

- Mmm. - Why did you have oil?

 

489

00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:26,690

因为啊  小弟  我们在做炸薯条啊

Because, buddy, we were making French fries.

 

490

00:21:26,770 --> 00:21:28,270

在你卧室里炸啊

In your room?

 

491

00:21:28,360 --> 00:21:30,940

要不你们播张DVD看吧

Why don't you guys just pop in a DVD?