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0:00:01.51,	So we're gonna change that one.	我们要换掉那个
0:00:04.03,	I'm back.	我回来啦
0:00:06.39,	Okay, let me see, let me see, let me see!	快让我瞧瞧 快让我瞧瞧
0:00:09.57,	You guys are want to, um...	你们得戴上...
0:00:11.76,	Oh, my god!	我滴神啊
0:00:12.83,	I love it!	爱死了
0:00:16.14,	All clear.	没事儿了
0:00:18.03,	Okay, so--	好了 所以...
0:00:20.11,	So good! It is so good!	好棒啊 真的好棒啊
0:00:23.18,	For the last few months,	过去几个月里
0:00:24.03,	Cam and I have been redoing a house together	小卡和我合力翻新一座老房子
0:00:26.16,	that we're gonna flip,	我们会进行炒房活动
0:00:26.99,	and I have to say, it has been goin' great!	不得不说 进展非常顺利
0:00:29.03,	We make an amazing team.	我们是绝佳组合
0:00:30.82,	- Yeah. The key is trust. - Absolutely.	-是啊 关键就是信任 -绝对的
0:00:33.35,	The key is, I let Claire think she's in charge.	关键在于 我让克莱尔以为是她在掌控大局
0:00:36.62,	I hide what I want in something bigger and more expensive.	我用更大更贵的东西掩藏我真正想要的
0:00:39.52,	Then when she rejects that,	当她反对的时候
0:00:41.27,	we "compromise" on what I wanted all along.	我们就能"妥协"成我一直想要的东西
0:00:44.66,	I call my method "The trojan horse."	我把这称为"特洛伊木马战术"
0:00:46.56,	You know how I got Lily?	知道我是怎么领养到莉莉的吗
0:00:47.55,	I asked Mitchell for triplets.	我跟米奇说要领养三胞胎
0:00:50.30,	You are going to love what I found for the kitchen countertops.	你一定会爱死我挑的厨房台面砖
0:00:55.40,	It's from Carrarra, Itlay.	来自意大利卡拉拉市
0:00:57.00,	It's where Michelangelo got the marble	米开朗基罗就是在那里找到大理石
0:00:59.03,	to make the "David."	雕刻出《大卫》的
0:01:00.72,	Now we know why the "David" couldn't afford any clothes.	难怪大卫穿不起衣服呢
0:01:03.54,	Okay, well, uh...	好吧 其实
0:01:05.40,	I also found this one.	我还挑了这款
0:01:07.70,	It's not as nice, but it's less expensive.	稍微逊色一些 但没那么贵
0:01:10.63,	Well, it's still over budget, but...	这也超预算了 但是
0:01:13.28,	I guess it's okay.	我觉得就这个吧
0:01:15.98,	By the way, we couldn't get the powder room fixtures you wanted.	对了 我们没买到你要的盥洗室设备
0:01:17.76,	What? Why?	什么 为什么
0:01:18.56,	Well, they're 23%, or $982, over the budget.	超预算23% 也就是982美元
0:01:22.77,	Keeping in mind, that space is only	记住 那块地方只占了
0:01:24.16,	12% of 1,462 square feet.	1462平方英尺中的12%
0:01:27.04,	Whenever I need to rein in Cam's spending,	每次我要控制小卡的花销
0:01:28.76,	I employ something that I like to call "The number dump."	我就运用我的"数据倾销"法
0:01:32.73,	So... unless you wanna cut 16%,	所以 除非你愿意从地板预算中
0:01:36.36,	or $1,764 from somewhere in the flooring budget,	削减16% 也就是1764美元
0:01:40.02,	we've gotta find another 4% overall.	我们就还得削减4%
0:01:41.79,	Yeah. No, as long as they're pretty, it's fine. It's fine.	好吧 不 只要漂亮就行了 没关系
0:01:43.96,	Yesterday, I accidentally said "Eleventy-five."	昨天 我不小心说了个"十一十零五"
0:01:56.59,	第四季 第十八集
0:02:00.37,	So everybody knows how hard I worked on that project.	大家都知道我对这个项目有多认真
0:02:02.80,	I mean--	我是说
0:02:07.52,	Hey, wait. What are you doing?	等等 你在干嘛
0:02:08.63,	Trying to put the sugar back in the thing.	把糖放回罐子里啊
0:02:10.07,	Well, just go get the broom.	去拿扫帚扫掉吧
0:02:11.44,	I'll eat it for a dollar.	给我一美元我就吃
0:02:12.89,	What did I say about eating things for money?	我说为赚钱吃东西该怎么着
0:02:14.70,	Charge the most. Then people will think you're worth it.	要价得高 人们就会以为物有所值
0:02:16.68,	That's right. That's at least $5.	没错 那至少得5美元
0:02:18.32,	- Hey, he said a dollar. - Broom.	他说的是一美元-拿扫帚去
0:02:20.82,	Hey, dad, I can't find my scarf,	老爸 我找不到我的围巾了
0:02:22.61,	and the closet light's burnt out.	衣柜的灯也坏了
0:02:24.09,	- So just change it. - I can't reach it.	那就换灯泡啊-我够不着
0:02:25.91,	Oh, if only there was some magical way	要是有什么魔法
0:02:28.22,	of getting up closer to the ceiling.	能让人接近天花板就好了
0:02:30.42,	Okay, now you just sound like Dylan.	你刚刚说话的语气很像迪兰
0:02:32.23,	I'm saying get a step stool.	我说的是梯子啦
0:02:34.13,	One thing at a time, okay?	一件一件来 好吗
0:02:35.94,	What is happening?	什么情况
0:02:37.52,	I'm sweeping.	我在扫地啊
0:02:38.60,	No, you're not sweeping.	不 你这不是扫地
0:02:39.42,	You're just spreading it all around.	而是把糖都扫分散了
0:02:41.03,	It's gonna cost more if you want me to eat it now.	现在要我吃的话 收费得提高了
0:02:44.10,	That's when it hit me--	那一刻我突然发现
0:02:45.13,	My daughters know nothing about home care and maintenance.	我的女儿们完全不会做家务
0:02:47.82,	I don't want 'em to be dependent.	我不希望她们这么依赖
0:02:49.57,	It's up to me to show them what a modern,	我该向她们展示一位自强自立的
0:02:51.25,	self-sufficient woman looks like.	现代女性该是什么样了
0:02:58.16,	Careful. Keep that up,	小心点 继续这样下去
0:02:58.85,	he'll have to hit "Numero dos" when he calls the DMV.	他要打电话给车管局时 就会按"兔"键
0:03:01.27,	By the time, he's old enough to call,	等到他会打电话的时候
0:03:03.16,	tt will be "Numero uno."	会按数字键"万"
0:03:05.85,	Ay, there he is.	太好了 他来了
0:03:06.87,	Manny, why did you have breakfast alone outside?	曼尼 你为什么自己跑到外面去吃早餐
0:03:09.34,	I felt like eating breakfast alfresco.	我喜欢吃露天早餐
0:03:11.16,	Does that mean he had his pants off?	意思是说他把裤子都脱了吗
0:03:12.50,	Because if I can't, he can't.	因为如果我不行 他也不行
0:03:14.14,	Jay, he's been eating outside on his own all week.	杰 他这一整个星期都自己在外面吃饭
0:03:18.03,	Do you think that he feels left out	你觉得是不是因为我把注意力
0:03:19.73,	because of all the attention I give Joe?	都集中到乔身上 他感觉受冷落了
0:03:21.82,	You know, I've been wondering the same thing.	我也在想同样的事
0:03:23.10,	Tell you what--why don't I have some father-son time	跟你说 不如今天下午就让我带乔
0:03:25.47,	with Joe this afternoon	享受父子时光
0:03:26.78,	and give you some time with Manny?	你去陪陪曼尼
0:03:29.01,	Ay, that's so sweet.	好啊 你真贴心
0:03:30.34,	You can take Joe to his baby class.	你可以带乔去上宝宝班
0:03:32.17,	Gloria, I think he already knows how to be a baby.	歌洛莉亚 我觉得他知道该怎么做宝宝
0:03:34.05,	I love you, but I can't laugh at that again.	我爱你 但你这话我可笑不出来了
0:03:36.94,	Manny, how about I pick you up after school,	曼尼 你放学后我去接你
0:03:40.21,	and we both have a special day?	我们享受一下母子专属时光怎么样
0:03:42.02,	Well, I did talk to Jay	我之前跟杰说过
0:03:43.25,	about getting some tickets for this reading.	要买票参加一个读书会的事儿
0:03:45.22,	What reading?	什么读书会
0:03:46.06,	Seriously?	不是吧你
0:03:47.02,	The stage reading of "Moby Dick"?	《大白鲸》的读书会啊
0:03:48.51,	I told you about it last night.	我昨天晚上跟你说的
0:03:49.86,	I have zero recollection of this.	我完全记不起来了
0:03:52.33,	I knew I shouldn't have poured you that second Scotch.	我就知道我不该给你倒第二杯威士忌
0:03:54.31,	Sorry, buddy, but I already committed	抱歉 伙计 但我已经决定
0:03:55.69,	to spending the afternoon with Joe	今天下午陪乔了
0:03:56.66,	so you and your mom could have more time together.	好让你妈妈能多点时间陪陪你
0:03:58.51,	Hey, maybe she can take you.	也许她能带你去
0:03:59.77,	- Can we, mom? - Of course, mi amor.	-可以吗 老妈 -当然了 亲爱的
0:04:01.45,	It's your special day. We'll do whatever you want.	今天是你的专属日 你想做什么都行
0:04:03.62,	Great. This is gonna be four hours you'll never forget.	太好了 这将成为你永生难忘的4小时
0:04:07.12,	Hey, buddy. Looks like it's just the dos of us.	伙计 看来只剩我们"兔"了
0:04:11.39,	Why do I feel that you did something shifty?	我怎么觉得你好像暗中捣鬼了
0:04:14.12,	I have no idea.	我毫不知情
0:04:14.94,	But I gotta say, it's not your best quality.	但说真的 这可不是你的优良品质
0:04:18.30,	All right, sweetie, you have a good day.	好了 亲爱的 祝你今天开心
0:04:20.65,	Watch me play handball, daddy.	爸爸 看我玩手球吧
0:04:22.52,	Oh, okay.	好的
0:04:23.45,	Next!	下一个
0:04:24.66,	That's Milo. He beats everybody.	那是麦洛 他打败了所有人
0:04:28.28,	Next loser!	下一个手下败将
0:04:30.64,	- He's mean. - Yeah, I'm gettin' that.	他真刻薄-我看出来了
0:04:34.93,	- Next! - That's you.	下一个-到你了
0:04:37.46,	Another girl?	又是个女的
0:04:38.90,	Hey, sweetie? Sweetie?	亲爱的 亲爱的
0:04:40.45,	You're gonna do great, okay?	你一定会很棒的
0:04:42.23,	If you say so.	你说是就是呗
0:04:44.20,	Next!	下一个
0:04:45.11,	Uh, Milo? That-- that was my fault.	麦洛 这是我的错
0:04:46.70,	I distracted her,	我分散了她的注意力
0:04:47.80,	So maybe she could just go again?	所以或许可以让她再来一次
0:04:48.87,	No do-overs. Next!	不带重玩的 下一个
0:04:51.11,	Well, I'm next, and I would like to give her my turn.	下一个是我 我把这个机会给她了
0:04:53.70,	No switcheroos. Are you playing or not?	不许换人 你到底玩不玩
0:04:55.86,	No.-Chicken. Next.	不玩-胆小鬼 下一个
0:04:58.90,	I hate bullies. I've hated them my whole life.	我痛恨恶霸 我恨他们一辈子
0:05:01.16,	I hated them when they were named Scott Dworkin	我从斯科特·杜肯 格雷戈·普奇科
0:05:03.31,	Or Greg Pechenko or Katie Greenwald.	到凯蒂·格林伍德 全都恨
0:05:07.86,	Okay, you know what? I'm gonna play.	你猜怎么着 我决定上阵
0:05:09.86,	But, daddy, he's really good.	可是 爸爸 他很厉害的
0:05:11.55,	Well, I'm really good, too.	我也很厉害的
0:05:12.54,	- But it's a sport. - I got this.	可这是体育运动-我可以的
0:05:14.36,	You done talking?	你们唠完没
0:05:15.74,	You know, it's really appropriate that we're at a school,	我们现在在学校较量最合适不过了
0:05:17.27,	because I'm about to teach you a lesson.	因为我要给你上上课[教训]
0:05:22.96,	Next!	下一个
0:05:24.31,	All right. Sorry, sweetheart.	好吧 对不起 亲爱的
0:05:26.12,	Here, I'll walk you to class.	我送你去上课
0:05:27.70,	No, thank you, mister.	不用了 谢谢你 先生
0:05:29.24,	But...	但是
0:05:35.74,	Whatcha doin'?	你在干嘛
0:05:38.11,	I think I have an idea.	我觉得我有个想法
0:05:44.62,	Okay. Every house needs a "Wow" factor, right?	每座房子都需要让人惊叹的"哇"元素 对不对
0:05:48.14,	What is the one thing this backyard is missing?	这座院子缺少的是什么
0:05:50.62,	- A qualified buyer? - Now don't be silly.	一名够格的买家吗-别说傻话
0:05:52.72,	No. A water feature with a fire element.	不是的 应该是一个带火焰效果的水景
0:05:55.91,	Oh, god, no.	天呐 不行
0:05:57.13,	No, no, please. Now just imagine--	拜托 只要设想一下
0:05:58.96,	This entire back wall	后边这一整面墙
0:06:00.69,	cascading into a reservoir that erupts into flames	都被连接到蓄水池上 每隔15分钟就
0:06:04.26,	on the quarter hour. How does that sound?	像火焰一样喷发出来 听起来怎么样
0:06:06.37,	Like we need a white tiger.	听起来挺费钱
0:06:08.19,	Maybe I'm being a little ambitious.	也许我的野心太大了
0:06:09.40,	So let's just do a couple dancing water fountains,	那我们只做一对舞蹈喷泉好了
0:06:11.45,	- call it a day. - No, wait. Cam, Cam, Cam.	收工吧-不 等一下 小卡
0:06:13.46,	That's gonna still put us, like,	那样也会让我们的景观预算
0:06:14.96,	$3,500 over our landscape budget.	超出将近3500美元
0:06:16.55,	Right now, we're 40-12 percent higher than I thought	现在比我之前预想的超了40-12%了
0:06:18.62,	we'd be at this point because Smitty added that 8% surcharge.	因为斯密特加上了8%的附加费
0:06:21.13,	I'm sorry--did you just say 40-12 percent?	不好意思 你刚才是说40-12%吗
0:06:23.33,	Mm, no, I didn't.	没 我没说
0:06:24.02,	Yes, you did. You do this all the time.	你说了 你总是这样
0:06:25.56,	You just throw numbers at me to frighten and confuse me.	你总是拿数字砸我 吓唬我 糊弄我
0:06:28.77,	And here I thought we were working so well together,	我还一直以为我们合作得挺好
0:06:30.59,	and you're just being manipulative.	原来你一直在暗中操纵
0:06:32.14,	What about you, Cam?	那你呢 小卡
0:06:33.25,	Pitching these crazy, over-the-top ideas	故意挑那些昂贵不切实际的东西
0:06:35.16,	just so you can slip in what you really want.	那样你就能得到你真正想要的
0:06:37.21,	Oh, how dare you accuse me of trojan horsing you.	你竟然指责我对你实行特洛伊木马战术
0:06:40.47,	You have a name for it?	你这招竟然还起名了
0:06:41.97,	No, I mean--	不是 我是说
0:06:43.20,	You know what? I will not stand here	你知道吗 我才不要站在这里
0:06:44.64,	and be accused by the likes of you.	被你这样的人指责
0:06:46.47,	And if there was a door here, missy,	如果这里有扇门 大小姐
0:06:47.78,	I would slam it in your face.	我非当你面摔门不可
0:06:49.60,	I thought we weren't flaming till the quarter hour!	我还以为要等15分钟才会"发火"呢
0:06:55.87,	Gloria and Manny left me alone with Joe,	歌洛莉亚和曼尼把我和乔单独留在家里
0:06:57.88,	and it was great... for about 20 minutes.	那非常爽 但也就爽了20分钟左右
0:07:01.19,	then the little bugger turned on me.	然后这小家伙就开始折磨我了
0:07:02.85,	I tried everything to calm him down--	我使劲浑身解数让他安静下来
0:07:04.70,	Bouncing. Bottle.	轻摇他 拿奶瓶喂他
0:07:06.44,	Brightly colored objects.	用亮色的东西逗他
0:07:08.64,	Bigger bottle.	用大瓶酒灌自己
0:07:10.11,	So I did the old "put him in the car" trick.	所以我决定采取"把他扔车里"的老招数
0:07:12.19,	But I could still hear him out there.	不过我还是能听到他在外面哭
0:07:13.49,	I'm just kidding.	我是在开玩笑啦
0:07:14.57,	I drove him to his little class,	我带他去上课
0:07:16.24,	but he dozed off right before we got there.	不过我们还没到那里 他就睡着了
0:07:18.61,	Or he took a page from the Jay Pritchett playbook--	或许他暗中偷学了杰·普里契特的妙招
0:07:21.05,	saw the crap he was in for and pretended to be asleep.	看到即将面对的悲惨处境 就假装睡着了
0:07:25.66,	Mr. Pritchett?	普里契特先生
0:07:27.11,	Yeah.-Rachel Lissy.	是我-我是瑞秋·莉兹
0:07:28.63,	Claire's friend from high school, remember?	克莱尔的高中同学 记得吗
0:07:30.35,	How could I forget?	我怎么可能忘呢
0:07:31.23,	You knocked down my mailbox with your k-car.	你开着你那台小车把我家信箱撞倒了
0:07:33.71,	Again, I apologize.	我再次道歉
0:07:35.47,	- How you doin'? - Couldn't be better.	你过得怎样-好得不能再好了
0:07:36.99,	I've been married for 15 years,	我都结婚15年了
0:07:38.91,	Two great boys over there.	那两个大男孩是我儿子
0:07:40.55,	Cooper! Unhand your brother!	库珀 放开你弟弟
0:07:45.44,	I'm taking them to the James Bond movie,	我正要带他们去看詹姆斯·邦德电影
0:07:47.52,	and they don't want me to sit with them.	他们不让我坐在他们旁边
0:07:51.40,	I miss babies.	我真怀念小婴儿
0:07:52.39,	Oh, they're a lot of fun, huh?	婴儿好玩多了
0:07:53.59,	- So nice to see you. - Nice seeing you.	见到你真高兴-见到你才叫高兴呢
0:07:56.57,	Great kids.	挺好的孩子
0:08:00.14,	Ugh! No, you're not!	不 不行
0:08:02.72,	Joe, I found a better way for us to bond...	乔 我找了个更好的方式增进父子感情
0:08:04.99,	天幕危机
0:08:06.81,	James Bond.	詹姆斯·邦德[意译：增进感情]
0:08:09.87,	My dad taught me everything there is to know about maintaining a home,	我爸爸教会了我一切关于保修房子的事情
0:08:13.01,	and today, that tradition continues.	今天 这一传统要传承下去
0:08:15.48,	Voila! Light bulb changed.	瞧 灯泡换好了
0:08:18.13,	Hey, I have an idea.	我有个想法
0:08:21.59,	Let's get to know the house, huh?	我们一起了解下这幢房子
0:08:23.39,	Hey, I have an idea--	我有个想法
0:08:24.28,	Let's lock him in.	我们把他锁在里面吧
0:08:26.32,	Okay. Let's go over this baby right here.	快到这个宝贝东西这里来
0:08:28.91,	What are we lookin' at, huh?	我们看到的是什么
0:08:30.39,	Photosynthesis?	光合作用
0:08:34.79,	In a sense, yeah.	某种意义上来说 是的
0:08:36.46,	Yeah?-Yeah,Yeah.	是吗-是的
0:08:37.56,	Uh, photosynthesis converts carbon dioxide	光合作用将二氧化碳
0:08:40.36,	into food for plants.	转化为植物的营养物质
0:08:41.65,	This water heater converts cold water into hot.	热水器将冷水转化成热水
0:08:45.59,	What converts this conversation into over?	什么东西能将我们的对话转成结束状态
0:08:47.51,	Girls, you need to learn these things.	姑娘们 你们得学会这些东西
0:08:48.97,	You might find yourselves living alone at some point.	终有一天你们会独自生活
0:08:54.03,	I long for the day.	我期盼那一天的到来
0:08:55.11,	Okay, we're just gonna start with something really basic, all right?	我们从一些最基础的开始 好吗
0:08:57.62,	I am turning the pilot light off.	我把指示灯给关了
0:08:59.87,	These things go out occasionally.	这玩意儿偶尔会熄灭
0:09:01.43,	- Why? - I don't know. No one knows.	为什么-我不知道 没有人知道
0:09:03.26,	Let's just say gremlins do it.	就当是小精灵干的好了
0:09:04.64,	But if it happens to you, what do you do?	如果这事发生在你们身上 怎么办
0:09:07.09,	- Call a guy. - Or a girl.	叫个伙计来-或妹子
0:09:08.30,	Oh, my god, we're literally in a closet,	天啊 我们真的是在柜子里了[同性恋]
0:09:09.89,	- and you just said that. - Focus.	你还那么说-集中注意力
0:09:11.57,	You don't call anyone. To re-light the pilot,	你们不需要叫任何人 重新点亮它
0:09:14.26,	Turn the valve to "Pilot,"	把阀转到"控制"
0:09:15.74,	You press it down to begin the flow of gas,	按下去 让气流通
0:09:17.86,	You wait a few seconds...	等上那么几秒
0:09:20.30,	Where you guys from originally?	你们是从哪个世界来的啊
0:09:23.14,	And you just press the igniter.	按下点火器
0:09:25.21,	There you go.	好了
0:09:26.81,	That's odd. Why is it not working?	真是奇怪 怎么不管用了
0:09:28.94,	Oh, I got it.	我知道了
0:09:30.13,	Why don't we just fill it up with hot water from the tap?	我们何不直接从水龙头里接热水灌进去呢
0:09:33.73,	Found another light that's out.	又灭了一盏灯[蠢死]
0:09:36.07,	Claire and I were at a stalemate on the water feature.	克莱尔和我在水景这事上陷入了僵局
0:09:38.96,	So I brought in an experienced professional	所以我请了一位有经验的专家过来
0:09:41.73,	to help break the tie.	打破这种窘境
0:09:43.43,	Pam also happens to be a friend	帕姆恰好是我的朋友
0:09:45.44,	and a fellow gay parent at Lily's school.	也是莉莉学校的同性恋家长
0:09:48.07,	Am I trying to stack the deck against Claire here?	我是想在背后做手脚 搞定克莱尔吗
0:09:51.41,	No. I would never be so...	不 我绝不会这么
0:09:55.03,	genius.	天才
0:09:59.84,	Oh. Oh, Claire, this is Pam.	克莱尔 这是帕姆
0:10:01.68,	- Pam, Claire. - Oh, hi. Nice to meet you.	-帕姆 这是克莱尔 -很高兴见到你
0:10:03.61,	- You, too. - Pam is a licensed contractor.	你好-帕姆是有执照的承包商
0:10:06.07,	Done a lot of houses.	装修过很多房子
0:10:07.52,	I thought it'd be nice to bring in a third party	我觉得有第三方在这里挺好的
0:10:09.38,	that's objective, to help settle the fountain dispute.	会比较客观 帮忙解决喷泉纠纷
0:10:11.64,	Oh. Objective, right.	要客观 是啊
0:10:13.84,	Well, my son does go to school with Lily,	我儿子和莉莉是同学
0:10:15.82,	but believe me, that is not gonna sway my decision	但是相信我 这绝不会比你的美貌
0:10:17.82,	any more than the fact that you are beautiful.	更影响我的决定
0:10:20.77,	Thank you. You are, too.	谢谢 你也很美貌
0:10:22.64,	Thank you.	谢谢
0:10:24.09,	Let me grab your cans.	我来帮你拿"罐子"[胸部]
0:10:25.23,	Your paint cans.	你的油漆罐
0:10:26.99,	There you go.	好了
0:10:28.04,	So...	那么
0:10:36.59,	Hey, what's the matter,Joe?	怎么了呀 乔
0:10:37.91,	Hey, that's a boy. That's a boy.	嘿 好小子 乖小子
0:10:41.85,	Come here. There you go.	到这里来 来
0:10:44.66,	Here you are. There you go.	好了 好了
0:10:46.80,	There you go.	好了
0:10:49.05,	You know, I'm happy to take him outside until he stops crying.	我很乐意带他出去 哄他不哭
0:10:51.71,	Oh, no, I wouldn't want you to miss this.	不不 我不希望你错过这电影
0:10:52.67,	It's fine. Once Daniel Craig put his shirt back on,	没关系 丹尼尔·克雷格不露肉
0:10:54.85,	- I lost interest. - Are you sure?	我就没兴趣了-真的吗
0:10:56.04,	Absolutely.-Okay.	真的-好吧
0:10:57.87,	Here--just go ahead. Attaboy.	给 去吧 好小子
0:11:00.08,	Attaboy. Thank you very much.	乖小子 谢谢你了
0:11:01.92,	I'll be right outside.	我就在外面
0:11:03.13,	Okay.Shh!	好的-嘘
0:11:04.62,	You shush, Nathan!	你闭嘴 内森
0:11:08.99,	Stupid thing!	笨东西
0:11:10.16,	Dad, we've been standing here forever.	爸 我们站这好久了
0:11:11.78,	Can't we just call the guy?	就不能直接叫个伙计来修吗
0:11:13.02,	No. There is no guy. I'm the guy.	不 没什么伙计 我就是那个伙计
0:11:14.89,	Here's what I need you to do. Run to the hardware store,	这是我需要你做的 跑去五金店
0:11:16.61,	get me a T6 torx screwdriver.	买个T6梅花螺丝刀回来
0:11:18.93,	What?-Just ask the guy.	什么-就问那伙计
0:11:20.39,	I thought there was no guy.	我以为那没有什么伙计
0:11:21.50,	There is one there!	那有一个
0:11:22.51,	- Could be a girl. - Eh?	也有可能是妹子啊-喏
0:11:23.72,	Just go!	快去
0:11:25.89,	I didn't need a torx screwdriver.	我不需要梅花螺丝刀
0:11:27.65,	I've always wanted one, though.	不过我一直都想要一个
0:11:29.81,	But I needed them out of the house,	但我需要他们出去
0:11:31.43,	so... I could... call... a guy.	那么 我就可以 找个伙计
0:11:34.59,	Dad, help me.	老爸 帮帮我
0:11:37.20,	Are we gonna do that thing again	我们是又要看你在那儿
0:11:38.48,	where you try on different outfits like in "Pretty Woman"?	像《风月俏佳人》里一样试穿各种衣服吗
0:11:44.50,	Saw you sinkin' some j's back there, huh?	我刚看见你很帅地投篮嘛 是吧
0:11:46.77,	Box and one. Cover two.	1盯4联防 掩护俩人
0:11:49.05,	Sh-shaq-a-hack? Am I right?	砍鲨战术 对不对
0:11:51.08,	Not even close.	根本不沾边
0:11:52.00,	- What's up? - Well, word has it	什么事-据江湖传闻
0:11:53.88,	that you were a pretty good handball player back in the day.	你曾是一名优秀的手球运动员
0:11:56.18,	Yeah.	是啊
0:11:56.94,	尼尔·阿姆斯特朗: 登月第一人
0:11:56.94,	And Neil Armstrong was a "pretty good" trumpet player.	尼尔·阿姆斯特朗还曾是"优秀"喇叭手呢
0:11:59.62,	I see you spent a lot more time on the court	我发现你在操场上待的时间
0:12:01.07,	than you did in the classroom,	远比在教室长
0:12:02.05,	So clearly, I've come to the right place.	所以很明显 我找对人了
0:12:03.81,	Look, I need you to teach me everything you know.	听着 我需要你传授我你全部的球技
0:12:05.70,	How come it's so important?	为什么这事那么重要
0:12:06.87,	Well, there's this kid,	有个小孩
0:12:07.73,	and he's been kind of bullying Lily and all her friends.	他欺负莉莉和她的同学
0:12:10.27,	And I tried to teach him.	我试图教训他
0:12:11.53,	I tried to put him in his place on the handball court,	想让他在手球场上安分点
0:12:13.70,	and I lost.	结果失败了
0:12:15.55,	And I-I could just see the disappointment in Lily's eyes.	我脑子里都是莉莉失望的眼神
0:12:17.89,	Like there's any emotion in those eyes.	说得好像她眼睛里有感情一样
0:12:19.91,	Are you gonna help me or not?	你要不要帮我
0:12:21.93,	Okay.Yes!	好吧-太棒了
0:12:23.18,	But I need you to give it 105%.	但我要你付出105%的努力
0:12:25.91,	Ah, no. It's 110%, buddy.	不 我付出110%的努力 哥们儿
0:12:27.67,	That's impossible.	那不可能
0:12:29.43,	Yes. I think the fountain's a little pricy.	是的 喷泉是有些昂贵
0:12:31.62,	But you know what? It's gonna more than make up for itself	但是 它的重要性简直无法忽视
0:12:33.69,	when a family comes in here	因为当一家人走进房子
0:12:34.63,	and falls head over heels in love with this home.	将被这个家迷得神魂颠倒
0:12:37.79,	Okay, that's a valid point.	好吧 这点说得好
0:12:38.99,	It is a bit of an empty space out there.	外面确实还有点儿空间
0:12:40.92,	Thank you.	谢谢
0:12:41.56,	Well, I mean, I see what you're saying.	好吧 我知道你的意思
0:12:43.09,	Sorry. It's hot in here, right?	不好意思 这里面真热啊
0:12:45.30,	Oh, well, you know, that happens to women of a certain age,	女人到了一定年纪就会出现你这情况
0:12:47.80,	Like with my mom.	我妈就是
0:12:49.89,	Are you kidding? What are you, like, 35?	不会吧 你才多少岁啊 35岁吧
0:12:51.97,	What are you, like, an angel sent from heaven?	你也美丽动人啊 像个天使一样
0:12:55.28,	I see what you're saying.	我知道你的意思
0:12:57.01,	I just feel that we might be pricing ourselves out of the market.	我觉得这样价格太高 就没人会买了
0:12:59.70,	If a family wants to come in here,	要是有户人家来了
0:13:01.71,	and--and build themselves a fountain,	还想建一个喷泉
0:13:04.16,	They can do so themselves.	他们可以自己建啊
0:13:06.34,	That's true.	确实啊
0:13:07.82,	Um, okay, well, you know, Pam,	好吧 帕姆 你知道的
0:13:10.19,	Um, there are lots of families like...ours...	有很多像我们这样的家庭
0:13:13.43,	Moving to this neighborhood for the schools.	他们搬过来 是因为这里的学校好
0:13:16.26,	P.S., saw Connor's art project--gorgeous.	插一句 我看过康纳的艺术作品 太美了
0:13:19.90,	Talent runs in the family.	不愧是才艺世家啊
0:13:23.30,	Anyway, I'm just saying I think a family would respond	总之 我觉得 如果后院做得有趣点儿
0:13:26.75,	to having a little drama in the backyard.	一定会打动人家
0:13:29.37,	I think Pam's made it pretty clear what she likes. Am I right?	我看帕姆已经把意见说得很清楚了 对吧
0:13:35.23,	Oh, no.	糟了
0:13:36.73,	Now my shirt is all see-through.	我的衣服都是通透的了
0:13:39.33,	And so are you.	你的花招也被看透了
0:13:40.44,	Please tell me you are not falling for this.	你不会被这种"美人计"给迷住了吧
0:13:43.00,	I'm not, but I am enjoying this little show tremendously,	不会 但我看得非常过瘾
0:13:46.16,	So thank you.	所以谢谢啦
0:13:48.00,	As for my professional opinion on the fountain,	话说回来 我从专业角度对喷泉的意见是
0:13:51.17,	don't do it.	别做了
0:13:52.16,	I mean, if you were gonna live here yourself,	如果是你们自己住的
0:13:54.31,	I'd say go for it. But it's too expensive for a flip.	那我会赞同 但那东西太贵了
0:13:57.45,	Yeah. Yeah.	就是呀 就是呀
0:13:59.16,	Thank you.	谢谢
0:14:01.56,	Cam?-Fine.	小卡-好吧
0:14:02.84,	Lesbians.	该死的拉拉
0:14:06.01,	I can't believe I just went garter shopping with my son.	我不敢相信我竟然陪亲儿子一起买吊袜带了
0:14:08.86,	When you find a better way to keep my socks up,	如果你有更好的办法让袜子不往下掉
0:14:10.67,	let me know.	告诉我一声
0:14:12.05,	Hey, as long as we're in the mall,	既然我们都来商城了
0:14:13.23,	you wanna stop in the baby class to see Jay and Joe?	要不去婴儿乐园看看杰和乔吧
0:14:15.37,	No. They need this time to make a connection.	别了 让他俩好好培养感情吧
0:14:17.36,	It's not like mother and son,	父子关系可不像母子关系
0:14:18.72,	that the bond is naturally strong.	不是生来就那么强烈的
0:14:20.98,	Hey, isn't that Joe over there?	嘿 那不是乔吗
0:14:24.72,	No, that's some weird baby.	不 那是别家的小屁孩
0:14:27.23,	He's not perfect like my little Joe.	他才没我家乔那么完美呢
0:14:29.09,	But he's got the same blanket.	但他的毯子一模一样呢
0:14:36.34,	Gloria. What are you doing here?	歌洛莉亚 你在这儿干嘛
0:14:38.90,	You gave our baby to a stranger?!	你怎么能把宝宝交给陌生人
0:14:40.62,	She's not a stranger. She's Claire's friend.	她不是陌生人 她是克莱尔的朋友
0:14:42.55,	- Shh! - Shut up, Nathan!	嘘-闭嘴 内森
0:14:44.16,	Gloria!	歌洛莉亚
0:14:49.02,	The gas is on, dad.	爸 煤气开了
0:14:50.18,	I can see the spark from the igniter.	点火器有火花了
0:14:51.47,	I don't know what it is.	我不知道那是什么玩意儿
0:14:52.44,	That's your thermocouple.	那是热电偶
0:14:54.34,	You get a little sediment in there	里面积了沉淀物
0:14:56.07,	or some rust, and you're done for.	或者是铁锈 就不好用了
0:14:57.66,	The thermocouple. Of course.	原来是热电偶的问题啊
0:14:59.15,	Why didn't I think of that?	我怎么没想到
0:15:00.46,	Thanks, dad. I-I shouldn't be buggin' you with this stuff.	谢啦 爸 这点小事不该打扰你的
0:15:02.83,	Are you kiddin' me? I love to help.	你开什么玩笑 我最乐于助人了
0:15:04.72,	Makes me feel like you still need me.	让我觉得你还需要我
0:15:06.40,	Of course I need you.	我当然需要你
0:15:07.58,	You're the best when it comes to this.	你总是这些问题的专家
0:15:09.18,	Anything else you need fixin'?	还有什么要修的吗
0:15:10.45,	Yeah, actually,	有啊 事实上
0:15:11.57,	I've been havin' a little trouble with my thumb.	我的大拇指坏了
0:15:14.55,	Oh, the old thumb. That's simple.	老伙计啦 那个好修
0:15:16.69,	Just push it back in and make that popping sound.	只要把它摁回去 然后"啵"一声就好了
0:15:21.19,	- Oh, yeah, you're right. - There you go.	-好啦 你这办法好 -修好啦
0:15:25.34,	Make sure you tell Claire how pretty she looks tonight.	今晚记得对克莱尔说她很美
0:15:28.02,	A woman needs to hear that.	女人就爱听这个
0:15:29.19,	You do the same with mom.	你也要对妈说说
0:15:30.62,	No, your mom's a little tired of	别了 你妈妈厌烦了
0:15:32.10,	hearing how pretty Claire is.	我经常对她说克莱尔很美
0:15:34.19,	Good one!	说得好
0:15:36.07,	All right. Love you.	好吧 爱你哦
0:15:37.26,	Love you, too.	我也爱你哦
0:15:39.12,	Dad, we're home.	爸 我们回来啦
0:15:41.86,	That was the least fun I have ever had shopping ever.	这真是最无聊的一次购物
0:15:45.16,	Here.	给你
0:15:47.01,	Honey, that's a torque wrench, not a torx screwdriver.	宝贝 这是扭力扳手 不是十字螺丝刀
0:15:50.23,	Okay, you're just screaming now.	好吧 你就嚷嚷吧
0:15:52.05,	Can't you just go get it? You're the best at this stuff.	你不能自己去买吗 你可是行家啊
0:15:54.43,	Yeah, plus the car is doing something funny,	就是啊 还有 车子也有点儿问题
0:15:56.48,	and there's a light on the dashboard	而且仪表盘上有个
0:15:57.53,	that looks like a little genie lamp.	像小油灯一样的指示灯亮了
0:15:59.44,	My kids are helpless, but maybe that's okay.	我家孩子不能自立 但也许那没关系
0:16:02.18,	Because years from now when they have their own houses,	因为多年以后 等他们有了自己的房子
0:16:03.98,	they'll call me on their hologram phones	他们会用超炫的高科技视频电话打给我
0:16:05.53,	and say, "Help me, dad. You're my only hope."	然后说 "老爸救命 只能靠你了"
0:16:08.37,	And I'll be the happiest father in Sector 7...	我就会成为第7区最幸福的老爸
0:16:10.97,	or Sector 12, if we're doing really well.	或者是第12区 如果我们混得很好的话
0:16:13.89,	I don't know why your mom's so mad.	搞不懂你妈怎么这么恼火
0:16:15.71,	Maybe it has something to do	可能是因为
0:16:16.83,	with giving your son away to a complete stranger.	你把宝贝儿子交给陌生人了
0:16:19.11,	You're next.	接下来就把你送出去
0:16:20.44,	And what were you two doing in the mall, anyway?	话说回来 你俩去商城干嘛
0:16:22.27,	I thought you were seeing "Moby Dick."	你俩不是去看《大白鲸》吗
0:16:23.60,	It was sold out.	票都卖完了
0:16:24.69,	Maybe that's how you can make it up to her--	可能你能这样讨好她
0:16:26.23,	Take me to the "Moby dick" reading tomorrow.	明天替她带我去参加《白鲸记》阅读会
0:16:28.01,	Nice try.	想得美
0:16:29.11,	Doing something selfless for her other son	无私地帮助她另一个儿子
0:16:30.84,	could make up for your monumental blunder.	能够弥补你这回犯下的滔天大罪
0:16:32.52,	Maybe flowers or jewelry.	送花和珠宝可能管用
0:16:34.03,	I like to throw money at the problem.	我喜欢用钱来解决问题
0:16:35.37,	Hello, pretty lady.	你好呀 美女
0:16:36.74,	What do you wanna do for dinner?	晚饭想吃什么啊
0:16:38.09,	How about we exchange the baby for a cheese pizza?	不如用宝宝换一张披萨饼吧
0:16:40.91,	- Is this about today? - I'll call for those tickets.	还在生气吗-我打电话订票去
0:16:43.59,	You were supposed to spend quality time with the baby.	你本来应该和宝宝共度美好的亲子时光
0:16:46.38,	Joe was asleep.	乔睡着了
0:16:46.96,	He didn't even know he missed the puppet show.	他根本不知道自己错过了木偶剧
0:16:49.30,	It was the baby class!	那叫"婴儿教学班"
0:16:50.64,	Okay, call it what you want.	好 你愿意怎么叫都行
0:16:51.48,	I saw a hippie with a frog on his hand.	我只看到一个嬉皮士手里拿着只青蛙
0:16:53.23,	And for your information,	另外跟你说一声
0:16:54.54,	I'm takin' Manny to that reading tomorrow.	我明天会带曼尼去那个朗读会
0:16:56.57,	Now you're just trying to dig yourself out of a hole	你现在只是在想办法给自己解围
0:16:58.67,	because you know that you were caught in a lie.	因为你知道自己的谎言被拆穿了
0:17:01.59,	- So here's something... - Not now, manny.	有件怪事-等会儿再说 曼尼
0:17:03.02,	Oh, let him talk.	让他说
0:17:03.93,	I called the theater,	我给剧场打了电话
0:17:04.75,	and they have tons of tickets for tomorrow's show.	他们说明天的演出还有很多票没卖出去
0:17:06.98,	And it turns out today's show wasn't sold out, either.	而且今天的演出门票也没有卖光
0:17:08.61,	- Ay, Manny, not now. - Let him talk.	-曼尼 现在不是说这个的时候 -让他说
0:17:10.33,	Mom, why'd you say it was sold out?	妈 你为什么说票卖光了
0:17:11.68,	Yeah. Why'd you say it was sold out?	是啊 你为什么说票卖光了
0:17:12.99,	It was a mistake. This is not my first language.	我搞错了嘛 英语不是我的母语
0:17:16.15,	I don't understand English very goodly.	我不怎么懂英语滴
0:17:18.38,	Don't play that card.	别打语言牌
0:17:19.82,	You didn't wanna go any more than I did.	你跟我一样不想陪他去
0:17:21.78,	Fine. I lied, but I earned that lie.	好吧 我说了谎 但我有资格说谎
0:17:25.53,	Ay, Manny, I am so sorry.	曼尼 我很抱歉
0:17:27.51,	But you know that I am always trying to do everything	但你知道我一直努力为这个家里每个人
0:17:30.28,	for everybody in this family.	尽心尽力 无微不至
0:17:32.97,	But you.	但你呢
0:17:34.65,	You only do what's good for you.	你只考虑你自己
0:17:37.18,	Let me tell you something, Jay Pritchett--	我告诉你吧 杰·普里契特
0:17:38.84,	When it comes to raising kids,	在抚养孩子这件事上
0:17:41.74,	you get what you give.	种什么 得什么
0:17:46.64,	Well, you rattled that off pretty goodly.	你这英语倒是说得挺好的
0:17:50.50,	You don't have to do this, daddy.	你没必要这么做的 爸爸
0:17:52.02,	I know, but daddy really wants to do this, okay?	我知道 但爸爸很想这么做 好吗
0:17:54.48,	No, no, no.	不不不
0:17:54.89,	No, what do you think you're doing, Sadie?	不行 你想干什么 萨迪
0:17:55.99,	No cutsies. Come on.	不许插队 回去
0:17:57.46,	Next.	下一个
0:17:59.21,	Hello, Milo.	你好 麦洛
0:17:59.95,	Hello, one of Lily's dads.	你好 莉莉的爸爸之一
0:18:02.20,	All right, let's make this interesting, okay?	好 我们玩点刺激的吧 好吗
0:18:03.76,	If I win, the new rule is this, okay?	如果我赢 就实行新规矩 好吗
0:18:06.24,	No player can play more than three times in a row	任何选手都不能连续玩三个回合以上
0:18:08.53,	without getting back in line	一定要回去重新排队
0:18:09.81,	and letting the other kids play.	给其他孩子上场的机会
0:18:11.11,	- What if I win? - Then I'll give you $20,000.	要是我赢呢-那我就给你两万块
0:18:13.56,	- You're on. - All right. Let's do this.	来吧-好 我们开始
0:18:19.26,	Yes!	好耶
0:18:21.16,	One point for me.	我得一分
0:18:22.43,	One point for me. That's right.	我得一分 没错
0:18:25.32,	Milo, the wall's over here.	麦洛 墙在这边呢
0:18:26.92,	Nah, nah. Doesn't count. It was out.	不行不行 这个不算 出界了
0:18:29.92,	Little too high for you, huh?	太高了你够不着是吧
0:18:31.83,	Three bounces to the wall, makes you a lo-ser,	球弹三次墙壁 你个败寇
0:18:35.08,	makes you a lo-ser.	你个败寇
0:18:36.87,	Final point. I get this, I win.	最后一分 我得到就是我赢
0:18:40.30,	Oh, sweet lord jesus.	老天爷子保佑我
0:18:44.11,	Whoo! Yes! Yes! Winner!	好耶 好耶 我赢了
0:18:47.14,	cham-pi-on! Cham-pi-on!	冠军是我 我是冠军
0:18:49.26,	Cam's gonna be doing drop-offs for a while.	这阵子得让小卡负责接送莉莉了
0:18:51.42,	We got a letter.	我们收到了警告信
0:18:55.03,	I'm sure you're both wondering	我相信你们都在琢磨
0:18:56.44,	why I summoned you here tonight.	我为什么今晚召集你们来这里
0:18:58.54,	I now present to you the "Wow" factor.	现在我将呈上让人惊叹的"哇"元素
0:19:02.72,	Cam...	小卡
0:19:06.39,	I cannot believe that you went rogue.	我简直不敢相信你居然擅自做主了
0:19:09.01,	Uncool. I am with Claire on this.	太不够意思了 我支持克莱尔
0:19:11.29,	You'll soon see why.	你们很快就会明白原因
0:19:13.25,	Prepare your senses...	准备好欣赏...
0:19:15.61,	for dancing waters.	会跳舞的水吧
0:19:19.96,	Wow.-Wow.	哇-哇
0:19:21.03,	Factor.	哇之元素
0:19:22.78,	Now imagine a prospective buyer,	现在想象一个潜在买家
0:19:24.59,	so entranced by the aqua ballet,	被这水芭蕾迷得神魂颠倒
0:19:26.77,	they're compelled instantly to make a rich offer.	于是当即决定花大价钱买下这房子
0:19:30.17,	I've even stocked the pools	我甚至还在池子里装满了
0:19:31.89,	with fish of gold.	金子做的鱼
0:19:34.37,	They're just goldfish,	其实就是金鱼
0:19:35.16,	But they're-- they're right here.	但它们...它们就在这里
0:19:39.43,	This is... this is really impressive, Cam.	这...这真的很惊艳 小卡
0:19:41.68,	What did you spend?	你花了多少钱
0:19:42.71,	Quite a bit, actually, but I don't wanna get into that.	实际上 没少花 但我不想说钱的事
0:19:44.77,	Let me turn this up to eleventy-five.	让我把功率提高到"十一十五"
0:19:50.27,	Wow.-Wow.	哇-哇
0:19:51.45,	Factor.	哇之元素
0:19:53.91,	Hey, Cam, are fish of gold	小卡 这些金鱼
0:19:55.57,	supposed to swim backwards like that?	这样倒着游正常吗
0:19:57.30,	No, not to my knowledge, no.	不 据我所知 不正常
0:19:58.98,	Yeah, it's kind of like they're all--	是哦 它们好像都...
0:20:00.36,	They're gathering towards that thing.	它们都在往那东西上聚集
0:20:02.03,	It's like a-- oh, no!	好像...天呐
0:20:03.35,	They are getting sucked out.	它们都被吸出来了
0:20:05.46,	You're killing them!	你把小鱼们害死了
0:20:07.42,	Claire! Unplug it!	克莱尔 快把插销拔了
0:20:09.45,	It's half a fish! That's a half a fish!	这是半截金鱼 半截金鱼啊
0:20:11.78,	There are certain queer times and occasions	在我们谓之生活的大染缸中
0:20:13.58,	in this strange, mixed affair we call life...	总有些奇怪的时间和场合
0:20:16.22,	When a man takes this whole universe	当一个人把整个世界
0:20:18.08,	for a vast practical joke...	看作一个巨大的笑话
0:20:21.99,	Though the wit thereof he but dimly discerns...	尽管那略显智慧 但他却并未察觉
0:20:24.42,	Tick-tick-tick, tick-tick-tick-tick,	嘀嘀嘀 嘀嘀嘀嘀
0:20:26.38,	Goes the dynamite,	看爷叱诧球场
0:20:28.07,	goes the dynamite!	看爷笑傲江湖
0:20:29.32,	And more than suspects that the joke	他竟然毫不怀疑 那个笑话
0:20:31.04,	is at nobody's expense but his own.	其实嘲弄的是他自己 而非别人
0:20:43.21,	- All right. Close your eyes. - Why?	-好 闭上眼睛 -为什么
0:20:45.34,	- Just trust me. - Okay.	相信我-好吧
0:20:48.37,	Never close your eyes on the court!	球场上永远不能闭眼
0:20:49.91,	- But you told me... - Don't let me get in your head!	但你让我闭上-不能让我影响到你
0:20:51.80,	Pop 'em!	戳破它们
0:20:52.34,	Pop 'em all before they hit the ground! Go!	在泡泡落地前戳破它们 快点
0:20:55.34,	I don't really understand how...	我不是很明白该怎么戳
0:20:57.06,	Make a fist with your thumb on the side.	握拳 把拇指放在边上
0:20:59.27,	Now bring your thumb to the front.	现在把拇指放到前面
0:21:00.78,	Okay, now do it again.	好 再做一遍
0:21:02.48,	You just spelled "Ass" in sign language.	你刚刚用手语比了"屁股"
0:21:06.79,	Okay. Close your eyes.	好 闭上眼睛
0:21:08.74,	It's okay. We're off the court.	没事的 我们不在场上了
0:21:11.65,	You're never off the court!	你永远都在场上