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0:00:01.69,	Family fun meeting by the front door, stat!	大门前家庭欢乐集会 麻溜的
0:00:05.62,	Stat means right now!	麻溜的意思就是马上
0:00:07.29,	Ugh. What is it?	怎么啦
0:00:08.80,	Ignore her. She's been in a bad mood all day.	别理她 她一整天都心情不好
0:00:10.90,	And Luke isn't home yet.	卢克根本不在家
0:00:12.25,	Oh. I'm right here.	我就在这儿呢
0:00:13.91,	Where were you?	你刚刚上哪儿去了
0:00:14.97,	This house still holds its secrets.	这房子依然充满秘密啊
0:00:16.91,	You're probably wondering why I called you all here.	你们应该很好奇我为什么叫你们过来
0:00:19.03,	Nope. Well, stop your wondering...	一点也不 现在可以停止好奇
0:00:20.79,	We're not wondering.	我们不好奇
0:00:21.89,	and behold.... this wonder!	拭目以待 这个奇观吧
0:00:24.17,	oh, my god! Seriously?	我的天呐 不是吧
0:00:27.29,	I sold a home to the one and only Pete Johnson.	我卖了套房给独一无二的皮特·约翰逊
0:00:29.78,	There's only one Pete Johnson?	世上只有一个皮特·约翰逊吗
0:00:31.14,	Only one who's California's top R.V. dealer.	叫这名的加州顶级房车经销商就一个
0:00:34.23,	There's 835 others. Nightmare of a deal to paper.	另有835个呢 要签下售车合同简直是噩梦
0:00:37.38,	Well, and this was his way of saying...	所以这是要表达
0:00:39.00,	Thank you. Of course.	感谢 当然了
0:00:40.50,	he paid a commission, too, right?	他付佣金了是不是
0:00:41.50,	Yes. And he told me I could take Iolene out anytime.	没错 他还说我随时都能把乔琳开出去
0:00:44.90,	Yeah, I named her!	没错 我给她起名字了
0:00:46.15,	Let's take this dirty girl for a spin up the coast!	我们开这小骚车去海岸转转吧
0:00:48.86,	Yes! Awesome! Pretty sweet, huh?	好耶 太赞了 相当不错吧
0:00:51.29,	Yeah!	没错
0:00:53.43,	I can see where this is going.	我可以预见接下来会怎样了
0:00:54.95,	This summeryou, me, the kids,	今年夏天 你 我和孩子们
0:00:57.78,	Yellowstone National Park.	黄石国家公园
0:01:00.23,	And that's just the Verona, he offered me an Amalfi.	这还只是辆维罗纳 他还让我开阿玛菲款的呢
0:01:02.94,	An Amalfi, Claire!	阿玛菲呀 克莱尔
0:01:04.25,	That makes the Umbria look like a Portofino!	那会让安布里亚像波特菲诺一样[意大利城市]
0:01:06.53,	Well, they should've called it the Roman,	他们不该称之为罗马帝国
0:01:08.30,	cause that's what we're about to be doin'.	因为这是我们要做的事情
0:01:10.55,	I'm really not following you.	我都听不懂你的意思了
0:01:12.95,	Ten days on the road with those kids?	跟孩子们来一段10天的旅程
0:01:14.69,	Winnebagno.	万万不行
0:01:14.69,	[Winnebago Industries万尼伯格工业	著名房车生产商]
0:01:16.24,	I hate it when Phil does this.	我超讨厌菲尔搞这些
0:01:17.87,	Now I have to be the bad guy	现在我只能唱黑脸
0:01:18.98,	who comes in and squelches his brilliant idea.	介入其中 粉碎他的"美妙"主意
0:01:21.65,	I said no. Get it out of my house.	我说了不行 把那玩意儿从我家里牵出去
0:01:24.30,	Fine.	好吧
0:01:25.83,	Come on, Jolene.	走吧 乔琳
0:01:28.85,	Fortunately, this time,	好在 这一次
0:01:30.34,	I don't have to be the wet blanket,	我不用再特意扫他的兴了
0:01:31.80,	Because even on just a short spin up the coast,	因为只要上海岸边小转一圈
0:01:34.31,	Phil will see what I see every day	菲尔就会看到我每天都要面对的
0:01:37.19,	The transformation that happens	孩子们一被关进车里
0:01:38.88,	when our kids are locked in a moving metal box...	就会闹得天翻地覆
0:01:41.48,	The kraken that is unleashed.	犹如被解锁出笼的海怪
0:01:45.14,	I love my kids very, very much.	我其实非常非常爱我的孩子们
0:01:56.28,	第四季 第二十三集
0:01:59.38,	You're poking me. Yeah, well, I know, sweetie.	你戳疼我了 是啊 我知道 宝贝
0:02:01.27,	But I don't get these pins just right,	但如果我不把发夹弄好
0:02:02.78,	your bun could fall out during your routine,	你的发髻就会在表演时散下来
0:02:04.71,	and it could mess you up.	那样就会影响你的发挥
0:02:05.64,	Okay, let's test it out.	好吧 来试看看
0:02:07.58,	All right.	好了
0:02:09.07,	Jump.	跳
0:02:10.18,	Good. Spin.	很好 转圈
0:02:12.06,	Now give me Beyonce.	来个碧昂斯的动作
0:02:15.08,	Okay, I've done everything I can do.	好了 我只能帮到这里了
0:02:16.46,	It's up to you now.	接下来靠你自己了
0:02:17.30,	We have a gymnast in our family.	我们家里出了个体操运动员
0:02:18.75,	Yeah, Lily goes to gymnastics class.	没错 莉莉去上体操班
0:02:20.50,	In one short year,	在短短一年内
0:02:21.50,	I've seen her blossom from a little girl	我已见证了她从一个
0:02:23.23,	who couldn't do a somersault...	完全不会翻跟斗的小姑娘
0:02:24.46,	into one who... kind of can.	进步到现在 算是会了吧
0:02:27.04,	Yeah, and by that standard, we also have a black belt,	是啊 以那标准来看 我们家里还有
0:02:29.04,	art prodigy, and prima ballerina in our family, so...	柔道黑段 艺术天才 和首席芭蕾演员呢
0:02:31.45,	You know, what we don't have in our family	但我们家里缺少
0:02:32.55,	is two loving, supportive fathers.	两位慈爱 支持的父亲
0:02:34.20,	I'm just saying, she's 5, you know?	我只是想强调她才5岁 明白嘛
0:02:35.62,	And you never let her forget it.	你老是提醒她这点
0:02:38.03,	Excuse me, is that your little girl out there? It is.	打扰一下 那是你女儿吗 是啊
0:02:40.75,	And you did her hair? I did.	你帮她扎的头发 是啊
0:02:42.50,	Do you mind helping my Julie with hers?	你能帮我女儿朱莉也做个一样的发型吗
0:02:45.37,	Oh, do you guys own a convertible?	你们是开敞篷车过来的吗
0:02:47.24,	No. Oh, no judgment.	不是 我无意评判
0:02:49.52,	Yeah, I'll get to work right when Lily's done.	等莉莉表演完 我就帮你弄
0:02:58.37,	Not bad. That little leap at the endthat's new.	不错 结尾的跳跃是新式的
0:03:00.79,	She's getting really good.	她真的表现得好好
0:03:02.99,	You better bring your "A" Game.	你最好给我拿出最好的表现来
0:03:04.83,	Oh, my god. Cam, look. Lily's in second place. 9.2.	天呐 小卡快瞧 莉莉第二了 9.2分
0:03:08.18,	I told you she's a gymnast.	我早跟你说了她是个体操运动员
0:03:09.12,	With scores like that, she's gonna make preteam.	分数这么高 她能进预选队了
0:03:10.79,	Are you serious?	你是说真的吗
0:03:12.01,	Preteam? She could make pre what's preteam?	预选队 她能进预...什么是预选队
0:03:16.07,	Claire!	克莱尔
0:03:17.56,	Phil!	菲尔
0:03:19.02,	Haley!	海莉
0:03:20.43,	Luke!	卢克
0:03:21.92,	Alex!	艾丽克斯
0:03:23.01,	Gloria, we've been through the roster three times.	歌洛莉亚 我们把全家人的名字都喊过三遍了
0:03:25.05,	They're not home.	他们不在家
0:03:26.34,	But their cars are here. Where could they be?	但他们的车在呢 能上哪儿去呢
0:03:28.28,	Who knows what these people do?	谁知道这些人在搞什么
0:03:29.75,	But my backpack is in there, Jay,	但我的书包在里面 杰
0:03:31.36,	My poem for my poetry reading.	里面有我要在诗歌朗诵会上读的诗
0:03:32.55,	Calm down. Didn't you back it up on your computer?	别激动 难道你没在电脑上备份吗
0:03:34.55,	What kind of man writes poetry on a computer?	什么样的人会用电脑写诗啊
0:03:36.48,	You could've ended that sentence after "Poetry."	你该问 什么样的人还写诗啊
0:03:41.32,	Come in. And no questions.	进来 别问我怎么进的
0:03:46.40,	My backpack wasn't upstairs.	我的书包不在楼上
0:03:48.53,	What's that?	那是什么
0:03:49.18,	Postcard from a friend of Claire'sRachel.	克莱尔的朋友寄给她的明信片 叫瑞秋
0:03:51.40,	Living it up in Club Med Cozumel.	在科苏梅尔岛的地中海俱乐部享受人生呢
0:03:54.10,	Looks like that marriage went down the drain.	看来这人的婚姻是泡汤了
0:03:56.27,	In other shocking news,	另外有个更爆炸的消息
0:03:57.73,	Phil subscribes to a trampoline magazine.	菲尔订了一份蹦床杂志
0:04:00.49,	Going through other people's mail	偷看别人的信件...
0:04:01.94,	Keeping it classy, Jay.	注意素质修养 杰
0:04:03.87,	Mom, my backpack isn't in Luke's room.	妈 我的书包不在卢克房间
0:04:05.82,	I don't see it in here, either.	我在这边也没看到
0:04:08.40,	I don't think it would fit in there.	我觉得那地方塞不下吧
0:04:09.76,	Ay, this was open when I came in.	我进来的时候它开着
0:04:12.16,	I was just looking for an aspirin.	我就找片阿司匹林
0:04:14.51,	I thought that I heard some noises.	我刚刚似乎听到了什么动静
0:04:16.51,	So you were snooping?	承认吧 你就是在窥探
0:04:17.68,	Oh, so now it's snooping,	这就算窥探了
0:04:19.40,	Wanting to know more about your family	我只是想更了解我的家人
0:04:20.73,	by looking through their personal things?	翻翻他们的生活用品而已
0:04:22.99,	Not just now. Since the invention of things.	不是就现在 打世界上有东西起你就这样
0:04:25.68,	Is that one of Claire's brownies?	那是克莱尔做的布朗尼吗
0:04:27.51,	No, they're delicious. Must be Cam's.	不是 可好吃了 肯定是小卡做的
0:04:29.33,	Oh, no. Don't worry. There's more.	噢不 别担心 还有呢
0:04:31.20,	No! That's where my backpack is.	不 我想起我的书包在哪里了
0:04:33.75,	Cam drove me and Luke home.	小卡送我和卢克回的家
0:04:35.94,	I must've left it in his car.	我肯定是落在他车里了
0:04:37.26,	Why are you so scattered lately?	你最近怎么总是丢三落四的
0:04:38.59,	Aw, he's just nervous because of his poetry reading tonight.	他只是很紧张今晚的诗歌朗诵会
0:04:42.61,	But don't worry, papi.	但别担心 宝贝
0:04:44.16,	I am going to be there to support you.	我会去现场支持你的
0:04:47.19,	I don't want my mom there.	我不想我妈过去
0:04:49.13,	I'm exploring some darker themes	我正在探索一些暗黑题材
0:04:50.69,	I'm not sure she's ready for,	我觉得她还没准备好接受
0:04:52.41,	Poems like "The umbilical noose,"	我写的诗有《脐带》
0:04:55.37,	A jail called mom,	《名叫妈妈的监狱》
0:04:57.03,	Smother nature.	《窒息的本性》
0:04:58.91,	She'll just find some way to make it all about her.	她肯定会往她自己身上扯
0:05:02.92,	And a toasty 75 degrees for daughter Haley.	给乖女儿海莉把温度调到舒适的75度
0:05:08.02,	You see,	知道不
0:05:08.54,	the Verona boasts individualized climate zones, Claire.	维罗纳宝车能对温度进行对点调节 克莱尔
0:05:12.51,	I could literally transport a polar bear and an orchid	我完全可以把北极熊和兰花一起放车里
0:05:15.47,	and not make two trips.	而不用运两次
0:05:18.07,	Dad, I'm freezing. It's, like, 1 degree back here.	爸 我冻死了 感觉我这才1度
0:05:22.19,	Six minutes in, and it begins.	上车6分钟 好戏开场了
0:05:25.26,	Here. Take the blanket from the bed.	给 我从床上给你拿了条毯子
0:05:27.49,	Thanks, Kitten.	谢谢老姐
0:05:29.20,	Dad, can you change the music?	爸 能换首歌吗
0:05:30.56,	Can I?	那还用说
0:05:32.26,	Oh, no. Oh, no, that's just getting louder.	别啊别 这歌只会越来越吵
0:05:34.27,	This isn't good. It's not good at all.	这不好 糟透了
0:05:36.97,	Actually, it's kind of perfect.	事实上这棒极了
0:05:38.47,	Right?	是吧
0:05:39.41,	The big windows, the classical music.	大窗户 古典乐
0:05:41.66,	It's like we're in a movie.	跟在电影里一样
0:05:43.62,	Turn it up, handsome.	开大点声 帅哥
0:05:45.00,	You got it!	听你的
0:05:49.51,	Obviously, the novelty of the situation was delaying the inevitable.	显然一时的新奇劲儿推迟了必然的闹剧
0:05:52.78,	But I didn't want to get halfway into a trip to Yellowstone	但我不想在去黄石公园的半路上
0:05:55.21,	before Phil discovered	菲尔才幡然醒悟
0:05:56.44,	what malevolent hellspawn we have for children...	他这是给孩子们造了多大的孽
0:05:59.43,	Whom I love very much.	我对孩子们是真爱
0:06:03.40,	Alex, honey, that's a cute sweater.	艾丽克斯 宝贝 你的毛衣好好看
0:06:04.95,	Doesn't Haley have one like that?	貌似海莉也有一件差不多的
0:06:06.10,	Oh, it actually is hers.	就是她的
0:06:07.28,	I took it from her closet before we left. Really?	我走之前从她衣柜顺的 真的
0:06:09.29,	Ooh. Sorry, girls. Didn't mean to start a whole thing.	抱歉姑娘们 没想搞得你们不愉快的
0:06:11.91,	I am so sick of you always looking better in my clothes.	我真不能忍 你穿我的衣服总是更好看
0:06:16.29,	When did that happen?	从什么时候起就这样了啊
0:06:17.70,	You're okay with this?	你一点都不介意吗
0:06:19.05,	Oh, yeah. She can wear whatever she wants	没事 她想穿什么穿什么
0:06:20.70,	After I've had it for six months.	反正我也穿了六个月了
0:06:22.76,	Or I get it automatically if you buy anything that looks like it.	或者你买件类似的 就自然送给我了
0:06:25.57,	This just feels right. Huh, team?	感觉真是不错呢 是吧队友们
0:06:28.27,	Matter of fact, I was thinking	事实上 我之前还想着
0:06:29.85,	we could all drive up to Yellowstone this summer.	我们一家子夏天可以驱车去黄石公园呢
0:06:32.51,	But I say,	但我现在提议
0:06:33.97,	Let's take this beeyotch ocean to ocean!	我们开着这宝贝蛋跨越东西海岸吧
0:06:37.04,	That'd be cool! Awesome!	那太棒了 赞啊
0:06:38.61,	We're doing it!	那就说定啦
0:06:40.48,	Phil, the road!	菲尔 小心
0:06:45.81,	I don't know what button I just pressed,	我不知道我按了哪个按钮
0:06:48.22,	But that was amazing.	但真是爽死我了
0:06:54.55,	My backpack's definitely not in there.	我的书包肯定不在车里
0:06:56.36,	Well, they're not picking up their phone.	他们也不接电话
0:06:58.22,	He must've brought it inside.	他肯定是带进屋了
0:07:00.27,	Sorry, kid, looks like you're out of luck.	抱歉 孩子 看来你只能自认倒霉了
0:07:02.39,	Come!	进来
0:07:03.54,	Don't they have a burglar alarm?	他们难道都没装个防盗警报器吗
0:07:05.20,	Ay, please.	少废话
0:07:07.49,	Okay, everybody, split up and search.	好了大家 我们分头行动
0:07:09.55,	Jay, you look in the bedroom.	杰 你去卧室找
0:07:10.61,	I'm not looking in their bedroom.	我才不去基佬们的卧室呢
0:07:12.07,	Fine.	好吧
0:07:13.22,	Mom, I don't think my backpack is in Cam's bag.	妈 我的背包可不会在小卡的包里
0:07:15.13,	I was just closing it for him.	我只是替他把包合上而已
0:07:17.29,	I... heard a noise.	我 听到有动静
0:07:18.48,	Looks like the guys threw a little party.	看起来像他们办过一场小派对
0:07:19.99,	I noticed.	我注意到了
0:07:21.11,	They brought out the guest soaps.	他们都把客人专用香皂拿出来了
0:07:22.99,	How long have you been in here?	你这是来了多久了
0:07:25.08,	Hey. This is that bottle of wine	嘿 这是菲尔开公司的时候
0:07:27.67,	I bought Phil when he started his company.	我给他买的那瓶酒
0:07:29.59,	And Claire's lipstick is on many of these wineglasses.	克莱尔的唇膏印还留在这些酒杯上
0:07:32.76,	Pictionary. They had game night?	看图猜词 他们昨晚是游戏之夜
0:07:35.14,	But we always go to game night.	可我们向来都参加游戏之夜的呀
0:07:37.05,	Son of a bitch. They snubbed us.	他奶奶的 他们抛弃了我们
0:07:39.92,	Found it!	找到了
0:07:41.21,	There must've been a dozen players.	肯定有好多人来玩
0:07:44.14,	Pepper was here.	胡娇也来了
0:07:46.46,	But Pepper loves me.	可胡娇是爱我的呀
0:07:48.87,	Okay, she's all set.	好了 搞定
0:07:49.82,	I defy you to find a tighter bun in this gymnasium.	我敢说你在馆里绝找不到更紧的发髻了[屁股]
0:07:52.53,	Lot of different ways you could've said that.	你完全可以换种说法的
0:07:54.62,	Oh, and good luck on your floor routine, sweetie.	祝你自由体操好运 宝贝
0:07:56.38,	Not that you need it.	但你不用运气也很厉害了
0:07:59.17,	That's Abby.	那是艾比
0:08:00.06,	She's the best in class.	她是班里最厉害的
0:08:01.15,	Oh. She's our competition.	她是我们的竞争对手
0:08:02.62,	I've never wanted to beat a kid so badly.	我从没这么想要打败一个小孩过
0:08:04.37,	Are you not hearing these?	你没听到我说的吗
0:08:06.05,	No? Okay.	没有吗 好吧
0:08:07.08,	Oh, Lily's on the beam.	莉莉在平衡木上了
0:08:08.83,	I'm nervous about her dismount.	我好担心她的下马动作
0:08:10.07,	You said that she could stick the landing, right?	你说过她着地时能站稳 是吧
0:08:11.58,	Yeah, as long as she breathes, relies on her training,	是的 只要她调整呼吸 依靠基本功
0:08:13.94,	and stays in the zone.	待在平衡木上
0:08:15.27,	We are talking about her stepping off a 6inch beam.	我们是在说她要从6英寸的木头上下来
0:08:17.10,	And not falling. Right.	而且不摔倒 是的
0:08:19.63,	I have to admit.	我不得不承认
0:08:21.00,	Seeing Lily do so well brought out something in me.	看到莉莉这么棒激发了我内心的一些情绪
0:08:24.08,	The pride of being a parent of a child	是作为家长 自己的孩子不只是参与
0:08:25.92,	who wasn't just participating but thriving.	而是表现卓越的骄傲感
0:08:30.71,	Okay, here comes her dismount.	好了 她要下马了
0:08:31.87,	Stick it Lily. Stick it!	稳住 莉莉 稳住
0:08:37.79,	she stuck it!	她站稳了
0:08:39.27,	She stuck it!	她站稳了
0:08:41.69,	9.4.	9.4分
0:08:43.37,	If no one beat my daughter's score on the beam,	如果她的平衡木得分最高
0:08:45.38,	She would make preteam.	她就能进预选队了
0:08:47.63,	She'd be one of the elite.	她就将成为健将中的一员
0:08:50.76,	Funny thing, pride.	骄傲感这玩意儿 真有意思
0:08:52.55,	They say it goeth before the...	听说它产生于
0:08:55.10,	Fall. Fall.	摔下来 摔下来
0:08:56.89,	Fall. Mitchell, I can hear you...	摔倒 米奇尔 我能听到你
0:08:58.69,	What? Rooting for a little girl to fall.	什么 在为一个小女生的摔倒加油
0:09:00.32,	If I can hear you, other people can hear you.	如果我能听到 别人也能听到
0:09:02.74,	Yes!	好棒
0:09:03.75,	I don't know why I said that. I don'tI'm sorry.	我不知道自己为什么喝倒彩 抱歉
0:09:06.20,	Yeah, he didn't mean it.	是的 他不是那个意思
0:09:07.30,	I didn't mean it. No, um, he just got caught up.	我不是那个意思 他是太投入了
0:09:10.05,	And, uh, you know,we all know	我们都知道
0:09:11.36,	competition makes people do crazy things.So...	比赛让人疯狂
0:09:13.68,	Look at this! Her bun fell apart during the floor exercise.	你看看 她的发髻在自由体操时散了
0:09:16.61,	Her hair got in her eyes and she couldn't even finish!	头发挡住了眼睛 动作都没法做完
0:09:18.86,	You did it on purpose!	你故意的
0:09:20.54,	No! Daddies!	不是 老爸们
0:09:22.07,	I'm in first place.	我是第一名哦
0:09:24.01,	Yay. That's great.	耶 真棒
0:09:29.33,	Did you offend them?	你得罪他们了吗
0:09:30.62,	Me? They love me.	我 他们都很爱我
0:09:32.67,	Can we go now? I have a poetry reading tonight.	我们能走了吗 我今晚还要诗朗诵呢
0:09:35.94,	And speaking of that,	说到这个
0:09:37.28,	Are you sure you guys really want It makes no sense.	你们确定真的要去 没道理啊
0:09:39.41,	We're always the life of every party.	我们向来是每场派对的灵魂人物
0:09:41.91,	Maybe they didn't invite you	可能他们没邀请你们
0:09:43.12,	because you're a couple of snoops?	是因为你们是一对窥探狂
0:09:44.53,	Okay, Mr. Goody twoshoes.	够啦 老好人先生
0:09:46.68,	A trait normal parents would value.	正常父母都会欣赏这一点
0:09:51.05,	Jay, I think you're right about him.	杰 我觉得关于他 你说得对
0:09:52.69,	He's been too good lately for a teenager.	他作为一名小少年 最近太过于正直
0:09:55.56,	It's not normal.	那不正常
0:09:57.16,	I am afraid that the world is going to	我觉得这个世界就要
0:09:58.78,	Oh, hell, no. This is too far. Ay.	天啊 这也太过分了
0:10:01.17,	Look at this.	看这个
0:10:03.83,	Is that supposed to be...	那难道是...
0:10:05.01,	That's us.	就是我们俩
0:10:06.36,	Not only do we get blown off,	我们不只是被抛弃了
0:10:08.01,	now they're making fun of us.	他们还拿我们当笑料
0:10:09.50,	Well, I'm just gonna leave them a little message.	我要给他们留个信
0:10:14.73,	As far as I'm concerned,	依我看
0:10:16.64,	They can all...	他们都可以
0:10:22.15,	Horse mouth! That's a good one!	马嘴巴 好题目
0:10:24.31,	No, "Horse mouth" Is not an expression.	不是 "马嘴"可不是个短语
0:10:26.05,	You can't get this?	你看不懂吗
0:10:27.67,	Look. Donkey.	看 驴子
0:10:29.60,	That's not a donkey. Look at the ears.	那可一点不像驴子 看这驴耳朵
0:10:31.87,	Okay. Donkey mouth!	好吧 驴嘴
0:10:33.82,	That's a terrible guess.	你猜得太烂了
0:10:35.50,	That's a terrible drawing!	你画得太烂了
0:10:37.17,	We weren't invited because you stink at this game.	他们不邀请我们 就因为你玩得太烂
0:10:39.81,	At least I can draw!	至少我会画画
0:10:41.03,	Excuse me. Just need a signature.	打扰一下 请签收一下
0:10:42.58,	Yeah, sure.	拿来吧
0:10:47.16,	Okay.	好吧
0:10:49.53,	Here we go.	签好了
0:10:51.26,	There. Thank you.	拿去吧 谢谢
0:10:52.17,	Yep.	好的
0:10:54.38,	That's not a signature. You drew a cat.	那不是签名 你这是画了只猫
0:10:56.31,	Thank you.	谢你八辈祖宗了啊
0:11:06.02,	Perfect freaking harmony.	一派完美和谐的景象
0:11:08.56,	That's when it hit me.	我突然想明白了
0:11:10.39,	Maybe it's not the cold confines of a moving vehicle	也许并不是封闭的车内空间
0:11:13.06,	that brings out the worst in my kids.	让我的孩子们表现出顽劣捣蛋的一面
0:11:14.70,	Maybe I bring out the worst in them	而是我 让他们爆发出顽劣捣蛋的一面
0:11:17.88,	when there's no funlovin' Phil around	因为没有风趣有爱的菲尔
0:11:19.55,	to neutralize my toxins.	来中和我的负能量
0:11:21.90,	I was in a full shame spiral.	那让我羞愧得无地自容
0:11:23.65,	Aah! A bee!	有蜜蜂
0:11:25.66,	And then something wonderful happened.	可就在这时 好事来了
0:11:28.03,	I got it!	让我来
0:11:29.33,	You idiot! Kill it!	你个蠢货 杀了它
0:11:31.07,	No, don't!	不 别杀
0:11:32.23,	Haven't you heard of colony collapse?	你不知道蜜蜂是濒危动物吗
0:11:33.52,	Bees are endangered!	蜜蜂快要灭绝了
0:11:34.88,	Okay, guys, stand still.	好啦孩子们 别乱动
0:11:36.25,	They can't see you if you're not moving.	只要你们不动 它就看不见你们
0:11:37.79,	It's coming near me!	它冲我来了
0:11:39.92,	Do I look like a bee?!	你把我当蜜蜂吗
0:11:41.15,	No, that was an accident!	不 是我出手失误
0:11:42.48,	Well, so is this!	那我也失误一回
0:11:46.54,	Everyone remain calm!	大家淡定
0:11:47.86,	I'll just open up the doubletilt swiss skylight	我这就打开双棚天窗
0:11:50.18,	and the airflow will pull	气流会把蜜蜂
0:11:51.49,	the bee out of Aah! There's another bee now!	抽出去的 又来一只蜜蜂
0:11:52.98,	We must be near its cave!	我们肯定闯进了蜂窝
0:11:54.20,	Oh, my god! There's so much stupid in here!	老天啊 简直是蠢疯了
0:11:56.40,	All right, I'm pulling this thing over.	好啦 我这就停车
0:11:58.52,	Those are the wipers.	开成雨刷了
0:11:59.92,	Claire, say something!	克莱尔 帮帮忙
0:12:01.72,	Kids, stop, please.	孩子们 别闹了
0:12:03.97,	Hey, there are daily flights to Yellowstone.	嘿 每天都有航班去黄石公园呢
0:12:08.25,	Aah! You ripped my sweater!	你把我衣服扯烂了
0:12:09.37,	My sweater, which you shouldn't even be wearing!	是我的衣服 你根本就不该穿
0:12:12.60,	Get off of my sweater! Short layover in Salt Lake.	把衣服还给我 航班在盐湖城短暂停留
0:12:14.72,	Are you really not gonna do anything?	你就一点忙都不帮吗
0:12:16.45,	Oh, Phil, you must have known this was gonna happen.	菲尔 你肯定早就知道会这样
0:12:18.67,	I know that tone. You're making a point.	我听得出来你的语气 你想证明什么
0:12:21.38,	It's better that you find out who they are now	你现在早早发现他们的本性
0:12:23.16,	than when you're halfway across the country.	总比你穿越半个国家了才发现要好
0:12:26.48,	Well, I guess I'm just a naive boob	好吧 看来我真是太幼稚
0:12:27.92,	who thought we liked each other!	还以为我们家相亲相爱呢
0:12:30.03,	Obviously, it was too much to ask	显然 这一切都是我的奢望
0:12:31.40,	to think that we could take one magnificent trip	一家人开开心心地出游
0:12:33.75,	in a trickedout, stateoftheart R.V.	享受豪华的房车之旅
0:12:35.82,	to see the sun dancing off the Pacific.	去看太平洋的海上日落
0:12:38.41,	What a huge ask!	我真是太强人所难了
0:12:52.09,	I can't stand the way everyone's starting at us.	我受不了大家用这种眼光看着我们
0:12:54.24,	Yeah, I know. It's the way we look at people	我懂 就像我们看别人遛鸟时
0:12:55.62,	who walk with their pet birds.	那种鄙视的眼神
0:12:57.92,	There she is!	小美女来啦
0:12:58.84,	Hey, good luck on your balance beam routine, sweetie.	小宝贝 祝你平衡木成功哦
0:13:01.33,	You're gonna do great. I'll never beat lily.	你会很棒的 我永远赢不了莉莉
0:13:03.44,	Of course you will, because you're a superstar!	你当然能 因为你是超级小明星
0:13:05.95,	And your daughter's a genius. I am such a fan. Such a fan.	你女儿也是个天才啊 我是她的粉丝
0:13:07.93,	Okay, now you're overcompensating. I have to!	好吧 你这样太夸张了 我是迫不得已
0:13:10.03,	You saw what a monster I was out there.	你也看见我刚刚有多过分
0:13:11.96,	Thisthis is the exact thing I always hated in my dad,	这恰恰是我恨我爸的一点
0:13:15.04,	that ugly macho testosterone drive to win,	他总认为不择手段的强硬真汉子才能赢
0:13:18.93,	and today it has flowered in me.	今天我自己却也踩进这怪圈了
0:13:20.78,	Well... No, this ends today, Cam.	小卡 我今天一定要打破怪圈
0:13:23.22,	I am not passing this on to Lily.	我绝不能让莉莉也受到同样的影响
0:13:24.63,	Well, it's not all on you. You know,	其实 这也不能全怪你
0:13:26.18,	I'm beginning to think maybe I did sabotage Abby's hair.	我在想 我可能确实故意弄坏了艾比的发型
0:13:29.41,	I didn't spray. I didn't Beyonce.	我没用定型喷雾 没来个碧昂斯范儿
0:13:31.69,	I basically built a ticking time bun.	我简直给她梳了个定时炸弹在头上
0:13:33.87,	Well...	好吧
0:13:39.82,	Are you okay?	你还好吧
0:13:41.46,	No.	不好
0:13:44.93,	My hair hurts. I'll fix it.	我头发扯着疼 我帮你弄一下
0:13:51.41,	We should find Lily.	我们找莉莉去吧
0:13:52.70,	Did you see what your daughter just did?	你们看见你家女儿干嘛了吗
0:13:56.94,	Uh... Lily, did you pull the pins out of Julie's hair?	莉莉 你把朱莉的发夹拔下来了吗
0:13:58.94,	Yeah, she fell.	是的 她摔了
0:14:00.51,	Oh. Okay, um...	好吧
0:14:02.31,	Icould I get everyone's attention for just a moment?	大家能听我说两句吗
0:14:04.63,	We consider what our daughter just did	我们觉得 我家女儿刚刚的行为
0:14:06.12,	to be an embarrassment to the sport of gymnastics.	违背了体操运动的体育精神
0:14:08.40,	I assure you, she did not learn this from us.	我向你们保证 那绝对不是我们教的
0:14:11.22,	And as far as we are concerned, that is a sign of weakness...	而且我们认为 这是弱者的表现
0:14:13.58,	Not the way a winner behaves, but the way...	不是胜利者该有的行为 而是
0:14:15.70,	A loser behaves. A loser behaves.	失败者的行为 失败者的行为
0:14:18.19,	Come on, Lily. Let's get your grips and tiger paws.	走吧莉莉 我们去拿你的护掌和护腕
0:14:20.08,	You're going to a timeout. Yeah. A nice long one.	你得暂停比赛 对 要多停一会
0:14:23.69,	I made preteam,	我进预选队了
0:14:24.45,	and my daddies get to watch from outside.	但我的爸爸们只能在外面观看
0:14:27.31,	No closer than 100 feet. But we're appealing.	必须在100英尺之外 我们在申诉
0:14:29.38,	Yay, Lily!	莉莉太棒了
0:14:34.38,	Kill the chicken! Chicken fingers!	杀死小鸡 酥炸鸡条
0:14:37.10,	Pigeon man!	鸽子人
0:14:38.12,	Pigeon man? Pigeon man.	鸽子人 鸽子人
0:14:39.86,	You see, Tony, it's not me.	你看到了吧 托尼 不是我的错
0:14:41.52,	Would you invite her to game night?	你会邀请她去游戏之夜吗
0:14:42.92,	I'm gonna go now.	我还是先走吧
0:14:44.09,	They're kinda sticklers about the nextday delivery thing.	那些要求隔天送达的人都不好伺候
0:14:47.23,	Bird in the hand!	一鸟在手[已成定局]
0:14:48.36,	There you go.	这就对了
0:14:49.76,	Any slower, she'd be the U.S. Mail,	她要再慢点 就堪比美国邮政了
0:14:51.11,	am I right?	你说是吧
0:14:52.13,	That's gonna kill at the warehouse.	这笑话在我们仓库肯定笑倒一大片
0:14:53.61,	You see? You are the problem.	看见没 你才是问题
0:14:55.91,	Except you cheated. I saw you look at the paper.	但你作弊了 我看见你偷瞄那张纸了
0:14:58.23,	I knew it.	我就说嘛
0:14:59.51,	You're no better.	你也好不到哪里去
0:15:00.74,	All the screaming and bullying.	大吼大叫 盛气凌人
0:15:02.71,	The question isn't why you two weren't invited.	问题不是为什么你们没被邀请
0:15:05.13,	It's why you're ever invited.	而是为什么以前有人愿意邀请你们
0:15:07.09,	And by the way, this isn't even about you.	顺便说一句 这画根本与你们无关
0:15:10.62,	Treasure... Chest.	藏宝 箱
0:15:12.19,	Now can we clean this place up and go?	我们能不能把这收拾干净 赶紧离开
0:15:18.13,	Funny story.	说来有趣
0:15:19.43,	My mom and Jay were invited.	我妈妈和杰其实被邀请了
0:15:21.53,	Cam gave me the invitation at school,	小卡在学校把邀请函交给我
0:15:23.11,	and I forgot about it.	我把这事忘了
0:15:24.47,	But how could I tell them right after I'd shamed them?	但我怎么能在刚训完话之后就说出实情呢
0:15:26.92,	I had to cover my tracks.	我得毁灭证据
0:15:28.73,	It's true, Jay. I cheated.	没错 杰 我是作弊了
0:15:31.21,	I cheat a little bit every time that we come to the game night.	每次在游戏之夜我都会小作弊一下
0:15:34.63,	I think Mitch saw me the last time,	我觉得上次米奇发现了
0:15:36.34,	and that's why they don't want to play with us anymore.	所以他们不想再跟我们玩了
0:15:38.33,	But why would you do that?	你为什么要作弊
0:15:39.70,	I don't know!	我不知道
0:15:41.01,	Maybe because I don't want you to think that I am not smart.	也许我不想让你认为我笨
0:15:44.76,	I would never think that.	我绝不会那么认为
0:15:46.71,	And besides, it's my fault, anyway.	再说 这其实是我的错
0:15:48.27,	The kid is right. I'm too competitive.	孩子说得对 我太争强好胜
0:15:50.83,	Lost a game of yahtzee once.	玩快艇骰子输了一回
0:15:51.96,	The dice are still on the wall.	那些骰子现在还被我挂在墙上
0:15:53.40,	Yeah, but at least you're not a cheater.	但至少你没有作弊
0:15:55.01,	I feel like such a donkey mouth.	我觉得自己真是个驴嘴巴
0:15:57.73,	Guys, there's something you should know.	爹妈 我有事情要告诉你们
0:16:01.57,	It's trivial pursuit night at mom's church.	妈妈的教堂今晚举办棋盘问答游戏之夜
0:16:03.97,	I hate for you to miss my poetry reading,	我不想让你们错过我的诗歌朗读会
0:16:05.85,	but maybe you could head down there,	但或许你们可以去教堂
0:16:07.29,	work on your sportsmanship,	培养一下公平竞争的体育精神
0:16:08.70,	And you will feel better about yourselves.	你们就不会那么自责了
0:16:11.01,	Are you sure you're going to be okay without me there?	你确定我不去你一个人能行吗
0:16:13.34,	Yes, mother. Mother. I'll be in the car.	是的 妈妈 妈妈 我上车等你们
0:16:16.93,	I get this damn competitive streak from my old man.	我的过分好胜是从我爸那继承的
0:16:19.85,	It's a miracle I didn't pass it down to mitchell.	幸好我没有把这传给米奇尔
0:16:21.79,	I love that we can blame our parents.	真高兴我们能把这怪到父母头上
0:16:23.63,	My mother was the biggest cheater I've ever known.	我母亲是我见过最爱作弊的大骗子
0:16:26.97,	And she used to snoop on everything that we did.	她以前特爱窥探我们的事
0:16:29.89,	Ay. Jay, look at this.	杰 看看这个
0:16:33.32,	Our invitation.	我们的邀请函
0:16:34.42,	They must have forgot to give it to us.	他们肯定是忘给我们了
0:16:36.35,	No. I checked this bag when we got here,	不对 我刚进来就检查过这包
0:16:38.74,	and it wasn't there. Why are you always	当时不在里面 为什么你总是
0:16:40.26,	Cause you know I have a problem.	你知道的 我有问题
0:16:42.23,	This was Manny.	这是曼尼干的
0:16:43.88,	He forgot to give it to us,	他忘了给我们
0:16:45.80,	and then he came and tried to sneak it in there.	然后就想偷偷地塞进去
0:16:48.55,	Why wouldn't he just tell us?	他干嘛不直接告诉我们
0:16:51.23,	Maybe because he doesn't want us to go to the reading.	也许因为他不想让我们去朗读会
0:16:54.18,	That's why he was talking about the church and the game.	所以他才一直说教堂和棋盘游戏的事
0:16:57.98,	He was working us.	他把我们耍了
0:16:59.27,	Guess he's not too much of a goody twoshoes.	看来他也不是个老好人
0:17:01.12,	No. He's a lying, scheming little sneak.	不 他是个爱撒谎 搞诡计的小坏蛋
0:17:06.54,	That's my son.	真不愧是我儿子
0:17:08.02,	Our son.	我们的好儿子
0:17:10.73,	I've never seen dad freak out like that before.	我从没见过爸爸发那么大火
0:17:12.82,	I feel terrible.	我感觉糟透了
0:17:14.39,	Oh, it's partly my fault.	一部分是我的错
0:17:15.87,	I goaded you guys into a fight to prove a point.	我引诱你们吵架 以显示我的先见之明
0:17:18.67,	Why do I always have to win?	我为什么总是要赢
0:17:20.39,	How did I get this way?	我是怎么变成这种人的
0:17:24.64,	That you?	那车是你的吗
0:17:26.57,	Yeah.	是的
0:17:28.18,	You? Yep.	那车是你的吗 是的
0:17:29.77,	How many kids in yours?	你车里有几个小孩
0:17:31.40,	Felt like 30.	感觉像是30个
0:17:32.69,	I got four.	我有4个
0:17:34.46,	But I'm thinking of emancipating two of them early.	不过我打算把其中两个尽早轰出家门
0:17:36.87,	Tell me one of you has cigarettes or a flask.	但愿你们有香烟或酒
0:17:39.27,	Sorry, buddy.	不好意思 兄弟
0:17:40.77,	I've been through every state	我经历过各种情绪[州]
0:17:42.67,	Depressed, catatonic, Arkansas.	抑郁 紧张 阿肯色州
0:17:46.27,	I considered faking my own death in Bryce Canyon National Park.	我想过干脆在布莱斯峡谷国家公园假死算了
0:17:49.85,	Have you been? Not to be missed.	你们去过吗 不可错过哦
0:17:52.19,	I'm gonna miss it. I'm missing every bit of it.	我会错过 我会完全错过
0:17:54.72,	I'm not spending another second in that rolling asylum.	我不会在那辆"移动精神病院"里再待一秒
0:17:57.56,	Poor guy. How long you been on the road? Couple weeks?	可怜的家伙 上路多久了 几周吗
0:18:01.69,	Couple days?	几天
0:18:06.68,	Dad's in the middle of a super sad dude hug.	爸正在那边跟超级可怜虫抱团呢
0:18:09.72,	We really disappointed him.	我们真是令他失望了
0:18:11.90,	Yeah, maybe we should just suck it up	也许我们应该咬牙忍忍
0:18:13.31,	and go to Jellystone this summer.	今年暑假去杰里斯通公园吧
0:18:15.42,	Wait. That's why dad got this thing?	慢着 所以爸才弄了这辆车吗
0:18:18.59,	II can't go on a trip this summer.	今年暑假我不能去旅行
0:18:20.43,	Why? I've...	为什么 我有
0:18:22.85,	I've got stuff. Huh? No. What stuff?	我有事 不行 快说什么事
0:18:27.02,	I don't want to talk about it. Luke.	我不想说 卢克
0:18:28.89,	Summer school. I'm failing prealgebra.	暑期班 我的初级代数挂科了
0:18:31.71,	Why didn't you say something? I don't know.	你为什么没说 我不知道
0:18:34.02,	I feel stupid.	我觉得好蠢
0:18:35.23,	You know what it's like to follow her?	你知道有她在前面做榜样是什么感觉吗
0:18:37.13,	All the teachers look at me	所以老师看着我
0:18:38.52,	and think that I'm some kind of irrational remainder.	都觉得我像是无理数余数
0:18:41.50,	Did I use that right? No.	我这样说对吗 不对
0:18:43.80,	Dang it.	该死
0:18:45.20,	But why didn't you ask me? I would've tutored you.	你为什么不问我呢 我可以辅导你
0:18:48.14,	I tried, but you were always off in your room	我试过了 不过你总是待在你的房间里
0:18:50.74,	or some corner of the house on the phone.	或是家里的角落打电话
0:18:52.92,	Yeah, who have you been talking to so much lately?	你最近总是和谁讲电话
0:18:54.82,	Aaron? Who's Aaron?	亚伦吗 亚伦是谁
0:18:56.17,	Actually, it's two boys Aaron and Alex.	事实上有两个男生 亚伦和艾历克斯
0:18:57.79,	Oh, two boys. A boy named Alex likes you?	两个男生 还有一个和你同名
0:19:00.05,	Yeah, I know. It's weird.	我知道 好诡异
0:19:01.03,	But my friend Andi with an "I" she's a girl	但我朋友安娣 "女"字旁的 是个女生
0:19:02.94,	Also liked Alex. The boy?	也喜欢艾历克斯 男艾历克斯吗
0:19:04.65,	Yes, the boy. I don't refer to myself in the third person.	当然是男的 我不会用第三人称来说自己
0:19:06.82,	I thought Aaron was the third person. No.	我以为亚伦是第三人 不
0:19:08.67,	Anyway, I thought I was cool juggling two boys at once,	总之 我觉得脚踩两条船挺酷的
0:19:11.10,	But...	但是
0:19:12.60,	They both ended up dumping me on the same day.	他们在同一天甩了我
0:19:14.76,	sweetie, that's awful.	甜心 那太可怕了
0:19:16.26,	How did I not know this was happening?	我怎么会不知道这些事
0:19:18.20,	You've been really busy lately,	你最近太忙了
0:19:19.80,	like with flipping that house.	你要翻新房子
0:19:21.32,	And plus I didn't really want to talk about it,	而且我并不想谈这个
0:19:23.67,	because it's kind of embarrassing.	因为说起来怪丢人的
0:19:25.85,	Not as embarrassing as failing a class that starts with "Pre."	比不上挂掉以"初级"为名字的课程丢人
0:19:29.56,	Baby... You guys wanna feel better?	宝贝 你们想好受些吗
0:19:32.23,	I auditioned to be a Laker girl this morning.	我今早面试了湖人队的啦啦队员
0:19:34.76,	What? You did? No way.	什么 真的吗 不是吧
0:19:36.13,	I took all those dance classes when I was younger,	我小时候上过舞蹈课
0:19:38.71,	and, I don't know. I've been trying to figure out	我也不知道 我最近想搞清楚
0:19:40.11,	what I want to do with my life,	我这辈子想做什么
0:19:41.58,	So I saw online that there were open tryouts,	我在网上看到他们有公开选拔赛
0:19:44.23,	so I went down there. And?	所以我就去了 然后呢
0:19:46.58,	I'm the new head Laker girl, mom.	我是最新的湖人队啦啦队长 妈
0:19:48.63,	It was a disaster. I was the worst one there.	真是场灾难 我是其中最差劲的
0:19:50.94,	I couldn't even get through my routine.	我甚至记不住整套表演动作
0:19:52.93,	You have a routine?	你们有一套表演动作吗
0:19:56.44,	Pat, Heath, you guys have given me the courage to go back in there,	帕特 希斯 你们让我有勇气回去
0:19:59.64,	stand up to my wife,	勇敢面对我妻子
0:20:00.65,	and tell her she was right all along.	告诉她 她一直是对的
0:20:02.65,	Happy trails, Phil.	一路顺风 菲尔
0:20:05.33,	Heath?	希斯
0:20:06.03,	I might just stay here a while.	我还想继续待一会儿
0:20:10.40,	Phil. Phil, I have to show you something.	菲尔 菲尔 我得告诉你一些事
0:20:12.07,	Don't gloat. I get it.	别得意洋洋 我知道了
0:20:13.12,	I keep trying to push this family closer together,	我尝试令家人亲近
0:20:14.92,	but they need their space. No, no, no.	但他们各自需要空间 不
0:20:16.80,	We have too much space.	我们的空间太多了
0:20:17.91,	Being in trapped in one room has forced us	被困在一间屋子里却令我们
0:20:19.51,	to actually talk to one another,	能彼此交谈
0:20:20.80,	and I have found out some incredible things about our kids.	我发现了孩子们的一些不可思议的事情
0:20:23.17,	Wait. Incredible good?	等等 不可思议的好吗
0:20:25.40,	You tell me.	你说呢
0:20:29.30,	Oh, my god.	我的天
0:20:31.21,	Dream come true! I don't even need context!	梦想成真 我甚至不需要了解来龙去脉
0:20:34.70,	What is this?!	这是什么情况
0:20:36.07,	So our trip's back on? We're in if Jolene's in.	我们继续旅行吗 只要乔琳没意见就行
0:20:38.93,	Come on. Do it! Yeah!	快点来吧 好耶
0:20:46.58,	Why can't I get this?	为什么我就是不会呢
0:20:47.74,	You just gotta focus. Clear your mind.	你需要集中精神 心无杂念
0:20:49.96,	Loosen up. Get in the zone. You know this.	放轻松 进入状态 你会的
0:20:52.00,	Okay, we're gonna walk through this together,	我们一起来过一遍
0:20:53.33,	step by step.	一步步的
0:20:54.47,	Five, six, seven, eight...	五六七八
0:20:56.90,	One, two, three, four,	一二三四
0:20:59.39,	Five and six, seven and eight... 56.1 plus or minus 8.25.	五六七八 56.1加上或减去8.25
0:21:03.09,	That's the first one. One, two, three, four,	这是第一题 一二三四
0:21:04.73,	Five, six, two, five Okay, number 2 X plus 2 over 4	五六二五 第二题 X加上2除以4
0:21:06.55,	equals 3 plus 3 Minus damn it,	等于3加3 减 见鬼
0:21:08.33,	Alex, do you mind?	艾丽克斯 小声点行吗
0:21:09.55,	We're doing something important here.	我们这里正在做正事呢
0:21:13.21,	Okay.	好了
0:21:14.40,	Once more. From the tippy, like nobody's watching.	再来一遍 从头开始 就当旁边没人
0:21:17.21,	Five, six, seven, eight. One two...	五六七八 一二