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00:03.06,	Oh, my goodness, those hands are cold.	天啊 那双手冰凉刺骨啊
00:06.40,	At least, buy me dinner first.	至少让我做个饱死鬼啊
00:10.25,	Tell my wife and kids I love them.	告诉我的妻子孩子我爱它们
00:13.22,	Oh, my god.	天啊
00:14.66,	That's kind of dark, mom.	你瞬间把故事变黑暗了 妈
00:16.68,	What	什么啊
00:17.82,	Wait, what's my favourite hospital food?	等等 我最爱的医院食物是什么
00:20.20,	Jell-o!	哈露[哈啰+吉露果冻
00:22.46,	Hi, buddy.	好啊 哥们儿
00:23.50,	No, today is still good.	不 今天可以的
00:24.57,	Good for what? Who's buddy?	可以干什么 哪个哥们儿
00:25.82,	Yeah, just head over on to the house.	好啊 直接来屋子里见面吧
00:27.64,	Whose house? Who's buddy?	谁家屋子 哥们儿又是谁
00:29.05,	OK, see you in a couple.	行 一会儿见
00:30.47,	Couple of what? Who's buddy?	一对什么 哥们儿是谁
00:31.94,	Kenneth.	肯尼斯
00:32.70,	- Kenneth? - Kenneth!	肯尼斯-肯尼斯
00:34.99,	If I had a son, I'd want him to be like Kenneth Ploufe.	如果我有儿子 我希望他能和肯尼斯·普洛弗一样
00:37.26,	You do have a son.	你确实是有儿子的
00:38.03,	When we first moved in here,	我们刚搬来这里时
00:38.95,	He was the sweet kid who lived next door.	他还是个可爱的小孩 住在我们隔壁
00:40.62,	Mm, the weird kid who lived next door,	是住在我们隔壁的古怪小孩吧
00:41.68,	But Phil always had a soft spot for him	但菲尔对他很亲
00:43.66,	Because Kenneth sort of looked up to him.	因为肯尼斯有点敬仰他
00:45.23,	I wouldn't say hero.	我都不想说他视我如英雄
00:46.81,	And yet you did.	但你还是说了
00:47.80,	Well, you weren't going to.	因为你不打算说啊
00:50.16,	Claire's always had some issues with Kenneth.	克莱尔对肯尼斯有些成见
00:52.21,	He would stare at me a little too long.	他老是色迷迷地盯着我看
00:54.86,	Can you blame him?	那能怪他吗
00:56.88,	You used to dress sexy back then.	因为你当年穿得太性感了
01:07.50,	Ten years. Can you believe it?	一晃十年过去了 难以置信啊
01:10.43,	I feel like we ended that last hug too soon.	我觉得刚刚的拥抱过于仓促
01:12.21,	I-- come on again!	再来一个吧
01:14.88,	Oh, wow, that's a lot of hugging.	哦 抱的多了点吧
01:16.51,	Oh! She's right. Why hug when you can...	她说得对 为什么要拥抱 明明可以直接...
01:19.22,	Man-shake.-Man-shake.	爷们握手-爷们握手
01:25.63,	I'm gonna get the coffee.	我去弄咖啡
01:28.18,	Man-shake.	爷们握手
01:29.87,	Are we sure?	没搞错吧
01:33.52,	Roll up the curtain.	拉起"门帘"
01:50.25,	I don't know what's worse--	我都不知道哪样才更糟
01:51.12,	That he competes every Thanksgiving in a pie-eating contest,	是他每年感恩节都会参加吃派比赛
01:54.13,	or that he's 9-time runner-up.	还是他已经9次屈居第二了
01:56.39,	It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without the contest.	没有比赛 就不是感恩节了
01:58.39,	Yes, it would.	当然也是啊
02:00.17,	I think I have to tell my pumpkin chunkin story.	我好想说说我的射南瓜故事
02:01.96,	Oh, no, no, you don't have to.	不不不 你不需要说的
02:03.30,	No, I kind of think I have to.	不 我觉得我必须说
02:05.66,	Once, Cam and his friends	有次 小卡和他的朋友们
02:06.64,	tried to slingshot a pumpkin across a football field.	试着将南瓜从足球场的一端射到另一端的
02:10.60,	Three seconds.	3秒钟
02:11.23,	That's all he needs to tell that story.	3秒种就可以讲完那个故事
02:12.65,	So the fog was rolling in over the mountains	山间大雾弥漫
02:15.02,	Like an ominous blanket	像是覆盖了一条不祥的毯子
02:16.66,	As we readied the giant slingshot.	正当我们准备好弹弓时
02:18.95,	You know, Lorna, the pastor's daughter,	牧师的女儿 洛娜
02:20.46,	She was nervous because like I said, it was after curfew.	她很紧张 因为当时已经是宵禁后了
02:23.64,	She was a goody two-shoe.	她是个"冒牌天使"
02:25.02,	Only pastor's daughter I ever met that was.	我遇见的牧师女儿里就她是那样的
02:31.44,	So we finally launch the pumpkin,	最终我们将南瓜发射出去
02:32.93,	And it sails through the air, goalpost to goalpost...	南瓜在空中飞过 穿越一个个门柱
02:36.28,	Past the end zone, into the parking lot,	穿过球门区 直飞停车场
02:39.02,	Through the open roof of Lorna's dad's car.	又穿过洛娜父亲车子的露顶
02:41.59,	I turn to Cody and I say,	我转身对科迪说
02:43.73,	Now what are the chances of that landing there?	射到那里的几率有多大
02:46.63,	He says, "Where?"	他说 哪里
02:48.06,	And I say...	然后我说
02:50.12,	The sunroof of a preacher man.	牧师的汽车天窗
02:54.59,	Wah-wah	哇哇
03:02.28,	Okay, come on in!	好了 进来吧
03:04.63,	Voila!	瞧啊
03:06.42,	Ah! Okay, what are we looking at?	好吧 眼前是什么玩意儿呢
03:07.41,	My centerpiece for Thanksgiving.	我为感恩节制作的餐桌中央的摆饰
03:09.18,	It is wonderful. You're so talented.	真是太棒了 你真有才
03:11.43,	I can't believe that you did this.	我真不敢相信你做了这个
03:13.30,	Yeah, my juices were really flowing on this one.	是吧 我自己欣赏的时候 也口水直流
03:15.86,	I actually shot a making-of video.	我还拍了制作过程的视频
03:17.60,	Hey, maybe we can watch it later at the party.	我们可以在派对结束后观看
03:19.52,	Well, yeah, that or football.	或者看橄榄球赛吧
03:22.43,	Mi amor, I'm so proud of you.	小宝贝 我真为你骄傲
03:24.72,	Is there nothing in the world that you can't do?	世界上还有什么是你做不到的吗
03:27.72,	Centerpieces, for starters.	餐桌中央摆饰 就算第一件了
03:29.55,	Why do you say everything of his is great,	你为什么说他做的一切都很棒
03:31.29,	Even if it isn't?	即便实际上很烂
03:32.11,	Because I'm building him up.	因为我在给他树立信心
03:34.39,	That's what parents do.	那是父母的任务之一
03:35.53,	Too much, if you ask me.	要我说的话 你做的太过了
03:36.64,	Kids cross the street nowadays, they get a ribbon.	现在的孩子会过马路 就能得到朵小红花
03:38.68,	Manny's got plenty of confidence.	曼尼已经自信心爆棚了
03:40.05,	He just needs a little reality check every now and then.	他需要的是对现实的偶尔清醒认识
03:42.85,	And this thing is a horn of ugly.	这玩意儿简直丑伤了
03:45.01,	Shh!	嘘
03:46.02,	My mother used to criticize everything I did.	我妈妈以前总是批评我所做的一切
03:48.81,	And look at me now.	瞧瞧现在的我
03:50.34,	I am a jumble of insecurities.	就是个缺乏安全感的可怜虫
03:52.66,	I'm not getting that.	我没觉得啊
03:53.68,	Do not say a word to Manny.	绝对不许打击曼尼
03:55.87,	Fine. But trust me,	好吧 不过相信我
03:57.80,	If you told him the truth, he'd thank you later.	如果你告诉他实情 他以后会感激你的
04:01.07,	Mm. Like Claire and Mitch? Did they thank you?	像克莱尔和米奇一样吗 他们感谢过你吗
04:03.58,	Not yet.	暂时还没
04:05.20,	But it's coming.	但很快就会的
04:10.41,	Ah! So many memories in this place. Yeah.	这里充满了我的回忆啊
04:12.65,	Do you guys still have, like, every cereal?	你们依然 每次吃麦片的时候都那个吗
04:14.20,	We have a lot.	必须的
04:15.06,	Yeah! Of course you do. Of course you do.	当然当然 那是肯定的啦
04:17.07,	You only have the greatest dad in the world.	你们有世上最了不起的老爸
04:19.46,	So what have you been up to?	你近些年在忙些什么啊
04:20.24,	I haven't seen you since you went off to college.	你上大学后 我就没见过你了
04:21.88,	Oh, you know, actually, that didn't work out so well.	事实上 我是被大学上了
04:24.03,	I bounced around for a while.	我四处混了一段时间
04:25.49,	Ended up washing dishes in New Mexico.	最后在新墨西哥州洗起了盘子
04:27.96,	So without the benefit of a college degree,	看来没有大学文凭
04:30.32,	I guess your options were kind of limited, huh?	可以选择的职业很有限啊
04:32.75,	Ease up. It's a holiday.	别谈学习 今天过节呢
04:34.09,	Yeah, it was--it was tough. Oh, no. no, thank you.	是啊 是很艰难 不 不 谢谢
04:36.33,	- Thank you, though, sweetie. You're so sweet. - Oh. Okay.	-谢谢你 甜心 你真好 -好吧
04:38.15,	It was tough for a while...	一开始挺艰难的
04:39.08,	But then a roommate and I started our own business.	后来我跟我室友自己创业了
04:41.53,	Oh, was that also in the dish or cleaning industry?	也是餐饮业或清洁行业的吗
04:44.31,	No. No, no, no.	不不
04:45.47,	It was actually a small investment company.	其实是个小投资公司
04:47.09,	Well, small at first.	最初规模很小
04:48.64,	You know, we rode the tech wave for a while,	当了一阵科技的弄潮儿
04:50.72,	then expanded into video games,	然后扩张到电子游戏
04:52.32,	amusement parks, sports arenas.	游乐场 运动场什么的
04:54.45,	Anything that seemed awesome, really.	什么牛逼就投资什么
04:56.43,	I'm actually in town to buy a blimp.	我此次回乡是来买小飞艇的
04:58.10,	Holy crow.	苍天大地啊
05:00.88,	So if you--if you'd gone to college,	所以如果当初你上了大学
05:02.87,	you would have done all that just four years later,	可能要4年之后才会做那些事
05:05.19,	or--or never.	或者根本不会
05:06.68,	Alex really needs to be picked up,	得有人去接艾丽克斯了
05:08.39,	Sweetie. Why don't you go get her?	甜心 你去接下她吧
05:09.94,	I wanna hear more of what he has to say about	我还想听听他的创业史呢
05:11.74,	We're leaving.	快走吧
05:12.70,	Kenneth, I am so proud of you.	肯尼斯 我太为你骄傲了
05:15.61,	You really made it.	你真的很成功
05:17.02,	Well, I did get one pretty lucky break.	确实 我运气好
05:20.19,	Early on, I met a very special guy	早些年 我认识了个贵人
05:23.00,	who taught me that what I thought and said had value.	他让我意识到我的所思所言都是有价值的
05:26.68,	Oh, you mean like--	你是说...
05:27.58,	Shh. Luke. Let the man talk.	卢克 听他说
05:29.69,	He encouraged me to always find the fun	他鼓励我干什么都得找到乐趣
05:32.02,	and follow this thing.	并且永远跟着这里走
05:33.68,	- Your lung? - No, my heart.	你的肺吗-不 我的心
05:35.58,	To this day, at every crossroad,	直到今天 每做一个决定前
05:37.39,	I ask myself one question--	我都会问自己
05:40.02,	What would Phil Dunphy do?	菲尔·邓菲会怎么做
05:41.50,	Record scratch!	至理名言啊
05:44.00,	Oh, that's me buzzin'.	来电话了
05:45.76,	Oh, it's Paris.	是帕丽斯打来的
05:47.71,	She's my assistant in Tokyo.	她是我在东京的助理
05:49.87,	You'd think they'd know how to demo 4-d gaming graphics without my help	他们没我连个4D游戏图都展示不了
05:53.54,	They don't. Hey, luke,	完全搞不定 嘿 卢克
05:55.08,	what instrument does Yo-Yo Ma play?	马友友拉什么乐器来着
05:57.32,	Um... cello?	琴讲
05:59.52,	He's me...	他就是翻版的我
06:01.19,	And he's spectacular.	但却是豪华升级版的
06:04.56,	Oh, my god.	天啊
06:05.77,	Kenneth Ploufe is part owner of a resort in the Bahamas,	肯尼斯·普洛弗与人共有在巴哈马的度假村
06:09.18,	some cruise line,	某条游轮巡航线
06:11.19,	And Lacy Fair, that lingerie company.	以及"蕾丝娇女" 那家内衣公司
06:13.57,	Oh! Ew! I'm wearing one of his bras!	恶心 我正穿着他家的胸罩呢
06:15.95,	Look, he's got a model in his lap.	看这个 模特坐他腿上合照呢
06:17.62,	- No way. - Look at her.	不是吧-看看她
06:25.17,	This is your fault!	都是你的错
06:33.22,	Are you seriously gonna stay in here all day?	你真想一天都躲在房间不出去吗
06:35.24,	I can't face mom.	我无法面对妈妈
06:36.51,	If I see her, I'm gonna have to confess.	我一看见她 就会忍不住坦白从宽的
06:38.37,	Take a breather. It's just a dent.	淡定 不过就是有点小凹
06:41.17,	And saying nothing is not lying, okay?	沉默不是撒谎 好吗
06:44.10,	It's just letting the truth speak for itself.	只是让真相自己大白而已
06:46.55,	This is not the time for moral equivocation.	现在不是模糊道义责任的时候
06:48.87,	Okay, I don't know what that means,	我不知道那是什么意思
06:50.21,	and also, don't tell me.	也不想知道
06:52.08,	You're the one who's gonna lose her driving privileges.	你才是那个以后不能碰车的人
06:53.76,	I don't know why you're so calm.	你怎么能这么冷静
06:55.31,	All we have to do is keep it from mom	我们只要暂时瞒住妈妈
06:57.35,	until she goes to the store.	一直瞒到她去商店就行了
06:58.85,	Then, when she sees it, she'll assume that it happened there,	然后 她发现了的话 也会觉得是在商店撞的
07:02.17,	which it did, so it's not really lying.	本来也就确实是 所以根本不算撒谎
07:05.36,	Listen to you.	听听 你说谎都不打草稿
07:07.11,	Are you gonna be a career criminal?	你是想成为职业罪犯吗
07:08.80,	Ugh. You sound like mom.	你跟妈妈简直一模一样
07:09.94,	I don't know what I'm gonna do after high school.	我高中毕业后可怎么办啊
07:13.66,	It was a supportive "Wah-wah."	我那声"哇哇"是表达对你的支持
07:15.45,	I was trying to save the moment.	不让你冷场
07:16.42,	There's no such thing as a supportive "Wah-wah."	哇哇那种声音怎么可能表示支持
07:18.69,	A "Wah-wah" By its very nature is vicious and undercutting.	那个声调就是讽刺和侮辱的代名词
07:20.96,	Well, I was just trying to salvage that story, okay?	我只是为了替你的故事打圆场
07:22.95,	I told you not to tell it,	我叫你别说
07:24.13,	You told it, and it died.	你还是说了 结果场子砸了
07:25.64,	It did not die. It's a thinker.	没砸 只是他们没反应过来
07:27.27,	Cam, the only thing people were thinking was,	小卡 他们在想的唯一一件事就是
07:28.39,	Thank god this story's over.	谢天谢地他总算说完了
07:30.50,	Okay. I get it.	好吧 我明白了
07:31.40,	So how long have I been embarrassing you with my stories?	我的故事让你觉得丢人有多久了
07:33.62,	No, no, no, no. You don't embarrass me.	不不 你没有丢我的人
07:35.32,	I love your stories, okay?	我爱你的故事
07:37.09,	The tractor in the swimming hole?	水塘里的拖拉机
07:38.73,	Aunt Betty's wiglet on the piglet?	把贝蒂婶的假发戴到猪崽头上
07:41.01,	Uncle Carl said she couldn't tell 'em apart.	卡尔叔说她分不清那些小猪崽
07:42.87,	See? Those are funny. You have so many great ones.	是吧 好好笑啊 多么五彩斑斓的童年趣事啊
07:45.72,	Well, that's farm life.	农场生活就是如此
07:46.63,	Rain or shine, there's always a bumper crop of stories.	无论下雨或天晴 精彩故事永不停
07:48.65,	Yeah, I'm just saying maybe	是啊 我的意思是
07:49.66,	you take punkin chunkin out of the rotation.	你该让那个射南瓜的故事退居二线了
07:52.03,	I guess you're right. Maybe I could just--	你说得也有理 或许我可以...
07:53.31,	Yeah, stick to the ones that really happened,	是啊 就讲那些真实发生过的事
07:54.55,	because people love those.	人们都喜欢真实的故事
07:56.67,	Excuse me. What?	不好意思 你说什么
07:58.14,	I'm--I'm just saying people laugh more at stories that are true.	我的意思是 真事才更有笑点
08:00.75,	Punkin chunkin is a true story.	射南瓜是真人真事
08:02.50,	True-ish?	有点真实?
08:03.70,	No. True.	不 完全真实
08:05.83,	Really?	是吗
08:07.37,	The length of a football field,	橄榄球场那么大
08:08.81,	Through the sunroof of a car that was open in late November in Missouri?	11月底的密苏里 车的天窗还是开着的?
08:13.21,	It was unseasonably warm.	那年秋老虎很猖狂
08:14.62,	That explains the fog rolling over the hill.	所以山间雾气弥漫?
08:16.55,	And who's Cody--	还有科迪是谁
08:17.95,	Who you're close enough to chunk with	你可以熟到跟他一起射南瓜
08:19.51,	but mysteriously only appears in this story?	但除此之外却从来没提起过他
08:21.84,	Cody was K.I.A. In desert storm.	科迪在沙漠风暴行动中不幸阵亡
08:23.55,	He's a hero.	他是个英雄
08:27.80,	You know, all this from someone	你根本没资格质疑
08:29.10,	who's never even chunked a punkin.	因为你从来没有发射过南瓜
08:32.62,	Well, I've never lunked a tunkin, either.	我可没丢人丢到家呢
08:34.04,	You know, these aren't real things.	因为 那些都不是真事
08:37.00,	This'll work, right?	这样可以吧
08:38.34,	Totally, dad.	绝对行 老爸
08:39.29,	Why have one long table	干嘛要用一张长桌呢
08:40.39,	when you can use four little ones bistro style?	明明可以用4个酒馆小餐桌
08:43.52,	I'll bet this is how the French do Thanksgiving.	法国人肯定就是这么过感恩节的
08:45.86,	You don't mind sitting with your Uncle Mitch	你不介意跟你米奇舅舅
08:47.16,	And, uh, grandpa, do you?	还有外公一起坐吧
08:48.63,	Anything's better than watching Lily chew.	只要不用看莉莉吧唧嘴 坐哪儿都行
08:51.19,	By the way,	顺便一提
08:52.18,	this is the side of your old man that Kenneth was talking about.	这就是肯尼斯所说的你老爹的另一面
08:55.33,	Original.	创意十足
08:57.02,	Imaginative.	天马行空
09:00.93,	Fearless.	无所畏惧
09:03.52,	So Kenneth became a gajillionaire	肯尼斯成为亿万富翁是因为他
09:05.57,	by asking himself, "What would Phil do?"	常常扪心自问 如果是菲尔会怎么做吗
09:08.43,	He sure did.	是的没错
09:11.11,	Where did that come from? Right?	真是神来之笔啊 对吧
09:13.69,	But you're you.	可你是原版的菲尔
09:15.73,	Why aren't we gojillionaires?	我们怎么没变亿万富翁
09:17.46,	Why don't you do what Phil would do?	为什么你不按照菲尔的想法去做呢
09:20.18,	Phil, why didn't you just put the extra leaves in the table?	菲尔 干嘛不把桌子都拼起来
09:24.26,	Trying to have some fun, be creative.	我想试着来点好玩的 搞点创意
09:26.59,	One long table, honey.	拼成一长桌子吧 亲爱的
09:28.23,	If it was good enough for the last supper,	耶稣最后的晚餐用的就是长桌
09:29.93,	it's good enough for us.	我们也该效仿
09:35.24,	I'm having second thoughts about this centerpiece.	关于我做的餐桌摆饰 我有点犹豫了
09:37.53,	- Ay, no. - Hear him out.	别想了-听他说下去
09:39.31,	I just think if we bring it to Phil and Claire's,	要是我们带它去菲尔和克莱尔家
09:40.97,	we'll never see it again, right?	就再也见不到它了是吧
09:42.38,	That's the plan.	是的
09:43.32,	Well, that would be sad.	那真让人伤心
09:45.49,	Except maybe my sadness will inspire me	不过这份伤感或许能激发我
09:47.31,	to create something even greater.	创造出更棒的作品
09:49.38,	Remember that collage I made	记得我做的那副拼贴画吗
09:50.43,	that helped us get through Katrina?	是它支撑我们度过了卡特里娜飓风危机
09:52.46,	You did this. You know that.	都是你造成的 你明白吧
09:53.80,	So...	难道
09:54.58,	is this the legendary rice pilaf we've been hearing about?	那就是江湖上闻名已久的手抓饭吗
09:57.67,	Try for yourself.	你自己尝尝
09:58.83,	Used to make it every year,	以前我每年都做这个
09:59.62,	but it, uh, started to upstage the turkey.	但后来它开始抢走了烤火鸡的风头
10:03.80,	- Something wrong? - Not so much wrong as missing.	不好吃吗-不至于到难吃
10:07.57,	It--it just tastes a little flat.	只是略显平淡无味
10:09.26,	That a fact?	是吗
10:10.55,	I just think with the earthiness of the rice,	我只是觉得可以加些辛香料
10:12.11,	you might want something zesty to set it off.	来盖过米饭的土腥味
10:14.43,	I think this might be a job for cumin.	估计加点孜然能管用
10:16.18,	You know, since we're sharing	既然我们在相互交流
10:17.10,	- helpful criticisms-- - no, no, no, no.	批评指正-停停停
10:18.24,	nobody's sharing anything. Manny, go change for the party.	谁都别再说了 曼尼 去换衣服
10:21.07,	No, no, no, but I appreciate helpful criticisms.	可是我愿意听取善意的批评
10:23.13,	It, uh, it's important for me that I hear the truth.	我觉得知道真相十分重要
10:26.27,	Makes me stronger,	能令我更坚强
10:27.77,	less of a mama's boy.	而不只是个离不开妈的孩子
10:29.85,	Yeah, mom, he can take it.	没错 妈 他承受得了
10:31.08,	That's what he says,	他嘴巴上这么说
10:32.10,	but you don't really know what he feels underneath.	可你不知道他内心实际的感受
10:35.91,	Some people are so sensitive,	有些人太过敏感
10:37.79,	that they hear one criticism,	一句批评
10:39.80,	and it kills the spark that made them special.	就能毁掉他们的才华
10:43.59,	I think I know what's going on here.	我明白是怎么回事了
10:45.16,	Good.	太好了
10:45.97,	This is about you and your mom, isn't it?	是有关你和你妈之间的纠葛 对吧
10:48.14,	Yes, it is.	对 没错
10:48.85,	No, it isn't.	不 不是的
10:49.54,	Yes, it is!	就是那样
10:51.27,	Manny, don't upset me anymore.	曼尼 别再让我心烦了
10:52.79,	Go. Go change.	去 换衣服去吧
10:55.26,	What--what should I wear?	我该穿什么啊
10:56.37,	Ay, you look good in everything!	你穿啥都好看
11:03.92,	Where you going, mom?	你去哪儿啊 妈妈
11:05.00,	Mm, I gotta run to the store.	得去趟商店
11:06.99,	Someone ate all the marshmallows.	有人把棉花糖都吃完了
11:09.06,	Hey, can I tell you something?	能跟你商量点事吗
11:11.09,	I was thinking that maybe after new year's break,	我在考虑寒假以后
11:13.86,	we could visit a couple more colleges.	我们可以去其他的大学看一看
11:15.30,	Seriously?-I was so hard on you before.	你说真的吗-我之前对你太凶了
11:18.20,	I'm sorry. I know I'm no Kenneth.	抱歉 我明白我做不到肯尼斯那样
11:19.94,	I'm gonna need all the help that I can get.	我得尽量取得别人的帮助
11:22.01,	Honey, I am so proud of you. Oh.	亲爱的 我为你骄傲
11:25.31,	Oh, thank you.	谢了
11:28.12,	What's this?	什么呀
11:29.31,	- Oh, okay. - What are you doing?	好吧-怎么了
11:30.75,	Oh, uncle Mitch is picking up the marshmallows.	米奇舅舅已经在买棉花糖了
11:32.08,	Then again, backpacking through Europe	话说回来 去欧洲背包游
11:33.28,	could be educational in its own way.	也有其独特的教育意义吧
11:34.89,	No! No, no! No, no, no!	别 别 别
11:36.59,	Do you know what's illegal in Europe?	你知道在欧洲什么算违法吗
11:38.47,	Nothing!	啥都不违法
11:39.41,	You are going to college!	你上大学上定了
11:41.03,	Okay, fine.	好吧 随你
11:42.43,	Darn right it's fine.	当然是听我的
11:45.73,	Piece of cake.	小菜一碟
11:48.94,	My hair's coming out!	我头发都要吓掉了
11:52.38,	Wow, honey. I-I think you could make these simpler.	亲爱的 我以为你会布置得简单点
11:54.96,	Just, you know, sort of do 'em flat and on the side.	将一边平铺开就可以了
11:57.58,	Hmm. Yeah. Seems like that's how you like me.	就像你希望我成为的那样
11:59.80,	Flat and on the side.	平平淡淡 甘居下游
12:01.45,	You know what? Sometimes I need to be puffed up and frilly.	有时我也需要膨胀一下 摆摆架子
12:04.15,	All right, is this one of	要是以后人家问起
12:05.10,	those moments I'm gonna have to remember later	咱俩婚姻破裂前的征兆之一
12:06.19,	when they ask me if there were any signs?	我是否就该想到此时此刻呀
12:08.36,	This is what Phil would do--	这就是菲尔会做的事
12:09.83,	Make fantastic napkin origami	把餐巾折得有模有样
12:11.53,	that startles and delights his guests.	令客人们又惊又喜
12:13.58,	I know, but, sweetie,	我知道 可亲爱的
12:14.64,	they're just looking a little...	它们看起来有点...
12:17.15,	Claire, you always do this. You squelch me.	克莱尔 你总是这样 你总打击我
12:20.05,	You squelch me right when I'm about to soar.	每当我要展翅高飞时 你就打击我
12:22.42,	Honey, you're folding napkins.	亲爱的 你只是折个餐巾而已
12:24.02,	You're folding my dreams!	你在屈折我的梦想
12:26.30,	You know what Kenneth told me?	你知道肯尼斯说了什么吗
12:27.91,	The secret to his success--	他事业成功的奥秘
12:29.53,	his whole career, he's tried to emulate me.	是因为他试着模仿我
12:32.41,	The only difference is,	唯一不同的是
12:33.38,	he hasn't had someone constantly telling him what not to do.	没有人不停地要他别干这个 别干那个
12:36.62,	So the only reason we don't have a-a blimp tethered to our mailbox	你意思是说我们家买不起小飞艇的唯一原因
12:40.16,	is because I'm always shooting down your great ideas?	是因为我总是打击你的"奇思妙想"
12:43.19,	Yeah.	没错
12:44.39,	Let's review the squelch pile, Phil.	咱们回顾一下"打击史" 菲尔
12:46.33,	Let's see-- the rice pudding franchise.	比如 米布丁的特许经销权
12:48.79,	Works for all chewing abilities.	无齿之徒 也可享受
12:50.16,	Adult tricycles.	成人三轮车
12:51.56,	Just try to fall off.	有种你就摔摔看
12:52.63,	The Aspirin gun.	阿司匹林喷射枪
12:53.80,	Some people have a hard time swallowing!	有人就是吞药困难嘛
12:56.36,	And you left one out. Hmm.	你还忘说了一个
12:57.80,	And that, my dear Claire, is a real head-scratcher--	亲爱的克莱尔 那才是挠破头皮才能想到的
13:00.62,	Tm.	不求人
13:03.38,	Action.	开演
13:07.04,	Hey, friend.	朋友好啊
13:08.68,	You look like you had a rough day at the office.	看上去你今天上班累惨了吧
13:11.02,	The stress from my job at the robot assassin factory...	在"机器人暗杀工厂"的工作压力真是...
13:14.78,	Is too much to take.	生命中不能承受之重
13:16.86,	Aw, shoot me an aspirin, pal.	给我来一枪阿司匹林吧 亲
13:19.33,	Maybe someday.	日后再议
13:20.83,	But until then, try this on for size.	不过先来试试这个合不合适
13:24.27,	The real head-scratcher features 32 patent-pending "Nogginizers"	即将拥有32项专利的脑神经导体按摩仪
13:27.36,	That gently massage your scalp	轻柔按摩您的头部
13:28.94,	In a soothing purr of motorized delight.	在安宁的声音中给您以享受
13:33.44,	Ahh. It feels great,	哇塞 真舒服
13:35.08,	And it looks good, too.	外形也很帅气哦
13:37.34,	It's a real lifesaver.	真是居家旅行必备良器
13:38.98,	You mean a real head-scratcher?	您是说真正的头部按摩仪吧
13:44.83,	Tm.	不求人
13:46.65,	I love you, Phil,	我爱你 菲尔
13:48.36,	- But you-- - Stop.	但是呢-别说了
13:49.74,	I love your "I love you."	我就爱听你说爱我
13:51.39,	I'm getting awful tired of your "But."	但我就怕温柔背后的一刀
13:53.76,	I heard it.	我经历过的
14:11.47,	Welcome, welcome, welcome!	欢迎欢迎 热烈欢迎
14:12.91,	Happy turkey day!	欢度火鸡节哦
14:14.50,	Hey, is that a new car?	哇 你们买了辆新车啊
14:15.69,	Yep! It's the best, isn't it?	没错 是不是特棒
14:17.17,	I can't take my eyes off it.	我的目光简直被钉在上面了
14:18.97,	You shouldn't, either.	您也别往别处看了
14:20.94,	Are you okay, mami?	你还好吧 闺女
14:22.11,	I'm... I'm...	我 我
14:23.59,	Hey, guys! Now the party's started. Come on!	大家好啊 派对开始了 快进去吧
14:27.04,	- How are you? - Good.	最近好吗-很好
14:28.21,	You disgust me.	恶心死姐了
14:29.39,	Are you hungry?	饿坏了吧
14:30.85,	Oh, good. It's still in one piece.	还好没散架
14:32.55,	You hit those potholes pretty hard.	你都快把我建的洞穴弄塌方了
14:34.40,	It's like you didn't see 'em.	你难道没看见吗
14:35.34,	No, I saw 'em.	不 我看见了
14:37.09,	Can I be honest with you, Jay?	我能跟你说句实话吗 杰
14:38.55,	I'm getting the sense	我觉得
14:39.41,	that you're not the biggest fan of "Allegria"?	你好像不那么喜欢我做的"阿雷古丽娜"
14:41.38,	You got a name for it now? Great.	你还给它起了个名字 真棒
14:43.15,	All right. Cards on the table?	好吧 要我说实话
14:44.37,	This is not your best work.	你可以做得更好的
14:46.36,	Now look, don't get me wrong.	听着 别会错意
14:48.16,	You're a talented kid.	你挺有才的
14:49.46,	You're gonna be a big success in the world.	终有一天你会展翅翱翔
14:50.70,	But this... this is a swing and a miss.	但这个 纯粹是瞎胡闹嘛
14:53.29,	- Well, but my mom said it was-- - It's great, yeah, I know.	不过妈说-你妈说很好 我知道
14:55.91,	But how did she say it?	不过你注意到她的语气了吗
14:57.61,	What do you mean?	什么意思
14:58.14,	There's a big difference between "It's great," and "It's great."	很好和"还好"简直是天壤之别
15:01.88,	You hear that?	你听出来了吗
15:02.39,	It's great, And "It's great."	很好和"还好"
15:05.34,	All I hear is a bunch of people telling me I'm great.	我只知道很多人都说我很有才
15:07.38,	And that's a problem, because a lot of times	这就是问题所在了 因为很多时候
15:09.18,	people will lie to you to protect your feelings,	人们怕你伤不起 故意说谎骗你
15:11.02,	And that's not doing you any favors.	那对你完全没好处的
15:12.38,	You get a lot farther in life	如果想走得更远
15:13.89,	if you know what you're good at and what you're not.	就必须明白自己的优势和劣势所在
15:16.52,	Now you can handle that, right?	现在能接受了吗
15:19.09,	Yeah.-Of course you can.	恩-就知道你可以的
15:21.85,	How you doing, honey?	你还好吧 亲爱的
15:23.05,	I'm great.	还好啦
15:26.32,	Okay, everybody, come on!	好了 大伙儿 动起来
15:28.09,	Two minutes till dinner! Get ready!	还有两分钟开伙 准备好哟
15:29.48,	Good! All right!	好啊 真棒
15:30.23,	Oh, wow, Manny. What have you got there?	哇塞 曼尼 手上端的什么啊
15:32.23,	He made a centerpiece!	他亲手做的餐桌装饰哦
15:33.66,	- Oh, that's fantastic. - It's stunning.	真了不起-令人震惊
15:36.02,	It's garbage.	就是个垃圾
15:37.44,	No, no, no!	别别别啊
15:38.77,	What are you doing? It's so beautiful!	你干什么呀 多漂亮啊
15:40.57,	Stop the lies.	别骗我了
15:41.84,	Jay told me the truth.	杰跟我说实话了
15:42.67,	What did you say?	你胡说些什么了
15:44.04,	I mentioned it wasn't his best effort.	我就说他可以做得更好啊
15:45.54,	He said it was a swing and a miss.	他说我那是瞎胡闹
15:46.91,	Why?! Why do you say these things, jay?!	为什么 为什么你要泼冷水啊 杰
15:49.05,	It's like I married my mother!	你简直跟我老妈一模一样
15:50.48,	Jay, why would you do that?	杰 你为何那样啊
15:51.90,	Because he's a Pritchett.	他们家人都这德行
15:52.77,	But don't let these negative nellies drag you down, Manny,	不过别被那些小人打击到 曼尼
15:55.52,	Because one day you could have a trillion-dollar idea	总有一天 你会想出个点石成金的创意
15:57.77,	-that the people who supposedly love you most-- - Okay, Phil!	那些理应最爱你的人-够了菲尔
16:00.96,	That's it. Go get the head-scratcher.	别说了 去拿你的头部按摩仪吧
16:03.23,	The real head-scratcher, "Tm"?	真正的挠头仪 "不求人"吗
16:04.93,	Go get it, and let everybody else decide	去拿过来 让大伙儿瞧瞧
16:06.84,	how many trillions I've cost you.	我耽误了你挣多少金子
16:08.82,	Way ahead of you.	多到你想都不敢想
16:10.27,	What's going on here?	什么状况啊
16:11.30,	We are about to make hat history.	我们要书写帽子的新历史了
16:14.07,	Or as I like to call it, "Hatstory."	我更愿意称之为"帽史"
16:17.33,	Early man had hours and hours to scratch his weary head.	先民们无所事事 终日可以自挠头皮
16:20.87,	But what about today's busy times?	而今快节奏社会 哪来时间挠
16:25.68,	Thank you, squire.	谢谢你 小卢子
16:27.04,	Great thing about this?	这项伟大的发明妙在何处
16:28.98,	You can wear it anywhere.	你可以随时随地都戴上
16:32.39,	Hit it, buddy.	开秀吧 伙计
16:34.00,	Oh!	我靠
16:35.35,	It's like a thousand tiny angels	就像成千上万的小天使
16:37.42,	are line dancing on my sca--	在我的头皮上开舞林大会...
16:40.26,	I... it looks like we got a slight malfunction in a rear nogginizer.	我去 似乎头部按摩仪出了点小故障
16:44.60,	Oh! Shut her down! Shut her down, buddy!	不要啊 快关了 快关了啊伙计
16:47.20,	- It's not working! - My hair! It's got my hair!	停不了啊-一剪没啊 发如血啊
16:49.93,	Okay! Fine.	好吧 算了
16:51.70,	That--I'm fine.	我没事
16:53.24,	Forgot about that feature. It's an exfoliating... scrub.	去他妈的神奇功能吧 简直是剥头皮
16:55.85,	Buddy, can you grab the safety shears?	儿子 给老爸把安全剪拿来
16:57.66,	You know what, Phil? Keep it up.	我告诉你 菲尔 坚持就是胜利
16:59.43,	And I admire you and Manny.	同是天涯沦落人
17:01.30,	I know what it's like to stare down skepticism from a loved one.	我明白被心爱的人质疑的滋味
17:04.21,	Cam, not now.	小卡 现在不是时候
17:05.17,	Why not now? It's Thanksgiving.	有什么不行 感恩节良辰吉日啊
17:06.41,	Families gather. Issues come up.	家人团聚 问题爆发
17:08.17,	Only if you bring them up.	问题也是你提出来才有的啊
17:09.50,	It's healthy to get things out in the open.	打开天窗说亮话对谁都好
17:11.62,	Y'all know my punkin chunkin story,	你们都听过我的射南瓜轶事吧
17:13.19,	or do you need a refresher?	要不要我再帮你们复习一下
17:14.52,	- We've heard it. -Oh, several times.	我们听过-好几遍呢
17:15.69,	I love it.	我喜欢那个故事
17:16.70,	With Cody and the friends?	是和科迪还有别的朋友一起的那个吗
17:18.76,	Yes. So you know how it ends.	没错 所以你们知道故事结局吧
17:20.20,	But the question is, who here thinks I made that up?	但问题是 觉得我瞎编的举手
17:24.90,	Oh. Well, doesn't that tell the whole story right there?	看吧 简直是泾渭分明 清清楚楚啊
17:28.74,	Here we have the skeptics, the dream-squashers...	这边是我们的怀疑派 打压别人梦想的人
17:31.99,	the Pritchetts.	普里契特一家
17:33.28,	And here we have the dreamers, the artists, the visionaries.	而这边是梦想家 艺术家和有远见的人
17:37.37,	Sweet Caroline!	苍天大地啊
17:38.83,	So we're supposed to believe that	难道要让我们相信
17:40.58,	you make a-a pumpkin fly across a football field.	你让一个南瓜飞过了整个足球场
17:43.88,	Yeah. I can prove it to you right now.	对 我现在就能证明给你们看
17:44.84,	Let's go to the football field.	我们去足球场
17:45.68,	Yes! Let's do this. I'd love to end this.	行 去就去 我希望争议就此结束
17:47.52,	Yeah! Let's settle this!	就是 我们去比试一场吧
17:48.50,	Dreamers versus Pritchetts!	梦想家对普里契特一家
17:49.67,	Bravo! Bravo! When I say "Punkin," You say "Chunkin"!	太棒了 我说南瓜你说射
17:52.10,	- Punkin! Punkin! - No, no, no!	-南瓜 南瓜 -不 停下来
17:53.97,	Hold it! I did not just cook for eight hours	站住 我做了8个小时的饭菜
17:57.81,	so you people could run off to prove some asinine point	不是为了让你们跑出去证明些愚蠢的观点
18:00.92,	that's only gonna make half of us feel bad!	输掉的那一方会很难过的
18:03.11,	Come on! Show a little respect.	拜托 尊重下我的劳动成果好吗
18:09.73,	Turkey smells great, sweetheart.	火鸡闻起来很香 亲爱的
18:11.36,	Is that turkey?	那是火鸡吗
18:12.73,	Because something smells like chicken.	我怎么觉得闻起来像鸡味[胆小鬼
18:14.67,	- Okay, let's settle this. - Yeah.	-好吧 我们一决胜负吧 -太好了
18:16.53,	Vamos, vamos! Jay, I drive!	大家来吧 杰 我开车
18:17.60,	When I say "Punkin," You say "Chunkin"!	我说南瓜你说射
18:18.77,	Punkin! Chunkin!	南瓜 射
18:20.67,	This is the coolest thing ever.	简直是我经历过最酷的事儿
18:22.76,	Okay, I want to film.	我要录下来
18:24.36,	Ay, no, wait, I want to be in it.	不 等一下 我也要露个脸
18:25.93,	Hey, Cam, are you sure this is going to work?	小卡 你确定这样可以吗
18:27.54,	Oh, god, you sound just like Cody.	天呐 你说话的语气和科迪一模一样
18:30.09,	Do you think this could launch a human?	你觉得这个可不可以用来发射一个人
18:31.77,	Luke...	卢克
18:33.51,	- Let's do the pumpkin first. - Okay.	我们还是先发射南瓜吧-好
18:36.54,	They're having fun over there,	他们在那儿玩的真开心
18:37.38,	but you know it's gonna end in tears.	但最后肯定是悲剧结尾
18:38.85,	Yeah, always does.	对 向来都是
18:39.80,	Knock-knock. Who's there?	敲门敲门 谁啊
18:41.30,	Physics.	物理学
18:42.09,	- Thank you. - Mm-hmm.	谢谢-不用
18:43.22,	Who's gonna be able to launch it?	谁应该来发射它
18:44.39,	I think it should be Cam!	我觉得是小卡
18:45.69,	Oh, no! I think it should be all of us!	哦不 我觉得应该是我们所有人一起
18:46.97,	All of us! All of us!	所有人 所有人
18:47.86,	Just get right here. Whoo!	到这儿来 哇
18:50.12,	For the record, I don't squash all of Phil's dreams.	我必须声明 我没有打压菲尔所有的梦想
18:53.27,	Just the ones that are, you know, potentially fatal.	只是那些 可能会 注定悲剧的
18:55.35,	I'm just trying to get the kid ready for life.	我只是想让那孩子准备好来面对现实生活
18:57.28,	Yeah. Yes, I-if we didn't do this to them,	对 如果我们不对他们狠一点
18:59.03,	the world would.	在社会上也会撞得鼻青脸肿
19:00.50,	Okay, everybody, in final launching positions?	好 大家各就各位准备好要发射了吗
19:02.50,	Get ready to eat some crow!	准备接受羞"乳"吧
19:04.34,	It is not as delicious as it sounds.	羞"乳"的味道可不怎么美味哦
19:07.38,	Okay...	好
19:08.39,	Uno!	一
19:09.29,	Dos! Tres! Three!	二 三
19:15.01,	What happened, Cam?	怎么回事 小卡
19:16.64,	I don't know. I-I don't know.	我不知道 我 我不知道
19:18.40,	Can we do it again?	我们再试一次行吗
19:19.44,	No, we only had one pumpkin,	不 我们只有一个南瓜
19:21.23,	and we just chunk it.	而我们刚刚发射掉了
19:24.21,	- Well, we were right. - Aw, yeah.	-就说嘛 我们是对的 -哈 是的
19:27.61,	I'm sorry, guys.	对不起
19:29.88,	This usually feels a little better, doesn't it?	通常我们赢了应该更开心才对啊 对吧
19:31.43,	Yeah.-Huh? Mm.	是的-是吧
19:33.45,	All right. I-I hate to admit it,	好吧 虽然我不愿意承认这点
19:34.51,	but when they put the pumpkin in,	但是当他们把南瓜放进去的时候
19:36.35,	I was kind of hoping it would work.	我有一点希望他们能成功
19:37.62,	Yeah.-me,too.	是的-我也是
19:40.45,	All right! Let the gloating begin.	好吧 开始幸灾乐祸吧
19:42.72,	You know, it was a pretty good try.	你知道吗 其实是一次好的尝试
19:44.43,	We don't need your pity.	我们不需要你们的同情
19:46.00,	Let's just get this stuff cleaned up.	我们清理一下球场吧
19:47.90,	Well--or if--if maybe we, um...	或者 或者我们可以
19:52.68,	- We launch it from a steeper angle? - Yeah.	试一下用更大的倾斜角发射-是的
19:54.66,	Then...maybe if you had somebody else,	然后 如果你们能有多一些人
19:56.30,	you know, helping you pull the thing.	一起帮你们拉它
19:57.80,	But we don't have any more pumpkins.	但是我们没有多余的南瓜了
19:59.16,	That's the easy part!	那很简单
20:00.50,	They're on every porch up and down the block.	街坊邻居家家户户门前都有
20:02.98,	- Oh, we can handle that. Come on, kid! - Yeah.	-我们可以搞定 来吧 -是的
20:04.47,	Come on. Let's try one.	来吧 让我们再试一次
20:05.73,	Okay! All right! Let's do it!	好吧 我们再试一次
20:07.09,	I say "Punkin," Gang says "Chunkin"!	我说南瓜大家说射
20:09.45,	There are dreamers and there are realists in this world.	这个世界上有梦想家 也有现实主义者
20:13.26,	You'd think the dreamers would find the dreamers	你可能会觉得梦想家们喜欢聚在一起
20:15.33,	and the realists would find the realists,	现实主义者又聚成另外的小集体
20:17.00,	but more often than not, the opposite is true.	但是往往 二者喜欢混搭在一起
20:20.44,	Maybe if this works,	如果这个成功了
20:21.50,	we should launch my centerpiece next.	我们下一个应该发射我做的餐桌装饰
20:22.84,	It wasn't that bad.	它没有那么糟糕啦
20:24.13,	Your rice pilaf was.	你做的手抓饭倒是挺糟糕的
20:27.48,	Jay, be careful!	杰 小心点儿
20:29.38,	Okay. All right.	好的 准备
20:30.95,	Oh! Oh! Keep going, keep going! Keep going!	好 好 继续用力 继续用力
20:36.59,	You see, the dreamers need the realists	其实 梦想家需要现实主义者
20:38.19,	to keep them from soaring too close to the sun.	提醒他们 不要把梦想放飞得过高
20:40.34,	And the realists...	而现实主义者
20:42.96,	Well, without the dreamers,	如果没有梦想家的话
20:45.18,	they might not ever get off the ground.	可能永远无法将梦想放飞
20:50.16,	Okay! Next one's going through the--the goal thingy,	好 下一个一定会穿过球门
20:53.73,	I can feel it!	我能感觉到
20:59.03,	Now when Lorna, Cody, and I did this, it was--	当洛娜 科迪和我做这件事的时候
21:01.18,	less talkin', more chunkin.	少说话 多用力
21:02.46,	Mom, I need to tell you something.	妈妈 我要告诉你一件事
21:03.41,	What is it, honey?	是什么 宝贝
21:04.28,	Ready!	准备
21:05.20,	I distracted Haley while she was driving,	海莉开车的时候 我让她分心了
21:06.77,	And we dented your car.	我们把你的车撞出了一个凹痕
21:07.82,	Fire!	发射
21:15.97,	Well, girls...	姑娘们
21:18.07,	Three more seconds, and you would have gotten away with it.	再忍三秒 就追究不到你们头上了
21:22.38,	Now a human?	现在射人了吧
21:23.75,	Come here, Lily.	过来吧 莉莉
21:25.11,	Luke, no.	卢克 别犯二