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0:00:01.43,	Good morning!	早安
0:00:02.50,	There's the birthday boy!	寿星驾到
0:00:04.18,	65 candles on one cake.	蛋糕上插满了65根蜡烛
0:00:06.46,	This is a big day for you...	今天可是你的大日子
0:00:07.91,	and for the astronauts who can see it from space.	以及那些从太空都能看到蜡烛的宇航员们
0:00:10.34,	Happy birthday to you.	生日快乐
0:00:11.95,	Thank you. And just so everyone knows, I want a quiet day.	谢了 你们知道 我就想安静地过一天
0:00:15.77,	No surprises.	别给我惊喜
0:00:17.78,	No surprises.	不要惊喜
0:00:19.62,	Last night, I found out that I am pregnant,	昨晚 我发现我怀孕了
0:00:22.20,	so Jay's gonna get one big surprise.	所以有个大惊喜正等着杰呢
0:00:25.46,	Okay, two	好吧 两个惊喜
0:00:26.22,	if you count the barbecue apron with the bikini body on it.	如果印着比基尼的烧烤围裙也算上的话
0:00:29.59,	I don't blame you, Jay.	也不能怪你 杰
0:00:30.88,	You'd had enough excitement in one lifetime--	你这辈子体验过够多的惊喜了
0:00:33.06,	The dawn of flight, printed books, agriculture.	飞机的诞生 印刷术的发明 农业的出现
0:00:36.14,	All right, what's with all the jokes?	这些玩笑是什么意思
0:00:37.66,	It's insult comedy.	这叫做吐槽
0:00:38.93,	I've been watching old Dean Martin roasts online.	我上网看了迪安·马丁吐槽大会
0:00:42.05,	Like this guy knows from the internet.	忘了这老兄不懂什么是网
0:00:43.77,	The other morning,	有天早上
0:00:44.44,	I saw him looking for the crank on the front of his car.	我看到他在找汽车的手摇启动把呢
0:00:44.44,	[早期汽车需以人力带动发动机]
0:00:46.36,	- Okay, you're done. - I make fun, and we laugh.	-够了 别说了 -我只想逗大家一乐而已
0:00:48.60,	But in all seriousness,	不过说真的
0:00:50.05,	if you see a light today, don't walk towards it.	要是你今天见到一道亮光 千万别走过去
0:00:50.43,	[传说人死后会见到光 重新进入轮回]
0:00:54.49,	I'm sorry I was asleep when you got home.	抱歉 昨晚你回家时我已经睡着了
0:00:57.02,	Cam and Mitch must be disappointed.	小卡和米奇一定很失望
0:00:59.36,	They were really geared up to get that kid.	他们为了领养那孩子 下了不少工夫
0:01:01.51,	But there's a silver lining.	但凡事也都有积极的一面嘛
0:01:03.14,	You might be right. Babies are a lot of work.	你说得对 养婴儿麻烦可多了
0:01:05.94,	No, that's not what I mean.	不 我不是那个意思
0:01:07.26,	- I'm-- - Ah, you know, and these two aren't getting any younger.	我是-再说他们也不年轻了
0:01:09.30,	The last thing they need is to start over.	那种年纪可不要再重新开始
0:01:11.71,	Would that be so bad?	真有那么糟糕吗
0:01:15.38,	Hey, Jay.	你好啊 杰
0:01:17.31,	What are you doing?	你们来干嘛
0:01:18.91,	- What the heck is that? - What?	那是什么玩意-什么
0:01:20.44,	Get him!	上
0:01:21.79,	Jay has been very explicit	关于他的65岁寿辰
0:01:24.11,	about what he wants to do for his 65th birthday,	杰清楚明白地表达过他的愿望
0:01:27.87,	but Phil Dunphy reads between the lines.	但菲尔·邓菲善于读懂他暗含的意思
0:01:31.99,	What the hell is going on?! What are you doing?!	你们干什么 搞什么飞机
0:01:33.58,	Making your birthday dreams comes true.	你的生日愿望就要成真了
0:01:35.14,	It's your special day, buddy.	今天是你的好日子哦 老弟
0:01:36.70,	Should we put him in the trunk？	该把他关在后备箱里吗
0:01:37.59,	Why would we put him in the trunk?	把他关在后备箱干什么
0:01:38.79,	You said there were no bad ideas.	你不是说怎么玩都不为过吗
0:01:40.09,	Get this stupid thing off me!	把这蠢玩意取下来
0:01:41.64,	I thought you said the hood would calm him down.	你说头套能让他平静下来的
0:01:43.09,	It works with my falcon.	这招对我的猎鹰就管用
0:01:44.93,	Don't worry, Gloria. We'll have him back in time for dinner.	别担心 歌洛莉亚 晚餐时间就送他回来
0:01:47.71,	Which for him is at 4:00 in the afternoon.	对他来说 那就是下午4点了
0:01:49.97,	Cause he's old! I love it!	因为他是老人家 真好笑
0:01:51.50,	■
0:01:54.50,	■
0:01:57.50,	■
0:02:00.99,	第四季 第一集
0:02:05.03,	This is really good coffee.	这咖啡真不错
0:02:06.62,	It really is.	的确如此
0:02:08.23,	Ahh. Is it a medium roast or...	这是中度烘焙还是
0:02:10.19,	Uh, dark.	深度烘培
0:02:11.67,	Oh. I was gonna say dark. I don't know why I said medium.	我想说深度 话到嘴边怎么成了中度
0:02:13.71,	Well, you would've been right.	你本来肯定可以说对的
0:02:18.09,	Is it whole milk or...	加的是全脂牛奶还是
0:02:18.94,	- 2%. - 2%.	含脂2%-含脂2%
0:02:23.16,	Okay. This is ridiculous.	够了 这太荒唐了
0:02:24.63,	[比喻明显存在的 但大家都刻意忽视的问题]
0:02:24.64,	We need to talk about the elephant in the room.	我们得谈谈客厅里的那只大象了
0:02:29.66,	The giant stuffed elephant	这只巨型填充大象
0:02:30.67,	was a gift from our good friend Pepper.	是我们的好基友胡娇送的礼物
0:02:32.81,	Gay guys having kids is-- it's relatively new,	同志家庭养小孩算是新鲜事
0:02:35.53,	so our community has not yet learned	所以基友们不太懂得
0:02:37.23,	how to modulate baby gifts.	该送婴儿什么礼物
0:02:38.73,	When Steven and Stefan had little Rocco,	当斯蒂芬和斯特凡的罗可出生时
0:02:40.93,	our friend Longinus sent over	基友朗吉娜请来了
0:02:42.26,	the whole cast of "Yo gabba gabba".	嘎巴宝宝节目的全体演员
0:02:43.90,	Now Rocco cries whenever he sees bright colors.	如今罗可一见鲜亮的颜色就哭
0:02:45.95,	I'm not allowed over there.	我都不能去他家了
0:02:48.05,	I guess we should donate it somewhere,	我看我们还是把它捐给谁吧
0:02:50.80,	along with the 800-pound gorilla.	顺便把那千斤重的大猩猩也捐了
0:02:54.75,	I mean, you know, now that we're not getting a baby.	既然我们不准备领养宝宝了
0:02:56.75,	A decision, by the way,	顺便一提 这个决定
0:02:57.84,	which seems even better in the light of day.	天亮以后更显得无比英明
0:02:59.83,	Mm. No, I totally agree.	我也这么觉得
0:03:01.70,	- So we're good? - No, we're great.	我们没事了-根本是好极了
0:03:03.41,	- We couldn't have handled this any better. - No.	这事解决得太完美了-没错
0:03:05.09,	Where's my new baby brother?	我的新弟弟呢
0:03:08.60,	Okay. Uh, slight oversight.	好吧 还忘了这个小家伙
0:03:10.40,	Can I see him? Can we name him Larry?	我想看看他 能给他取名拉里吗
0:03:12.63,	Okay, sweetie. Here, have a seat with us.	宝贝 过来坐在爸爸们中间
0:03:15.14,	Um, listen.	听我说
0:03:16.76,	There's something we need to tell you.	有件事我们必须告诉你
0:03:18.33,	Is it about Larry?	是关于拉里的吗
0:03:19.79,	Well, uh, yes. Uh, sort of.	那个 算是吧
0:03:22.01,	Um, it--it turns out that... We're not getting a baby.	事实上 我们无法领养一个新宝宝
0:03:25.12,	Yeah, and I know this-- this makes you very sad,	我知道你因此而难过
0:03:28.69,	but I promise you we're still a family--	但我保证我们家还是
0:03:30.13,	Can I have a kitten?	我能养只猫吗
0:03:31.88,	A kitten?	猫
0:03:32.69,	If I can't have a brother,	如果没有新弟弟
0:03:34.20,	then I want a kitten named Larry.	那我就要养只叫拉里的猫
0:03:38.20,	Okay, w-what's this about? Is Larry on a show?	怎么回事 拉里是哪个动画片中的人物吗
0:03:40.64,	He's not, which is what's weird.	没有 所以才特别诡异
0:03:46.50,	- Ooh! How was prom? - So fun.	舞会玩得开心吗-特别开心
0:03:48.39,	Michael and I danced all night...	迈克和我跳了一整晚
0:03:49.85,	And then we stayed after and helped clean up,	然后我们留下帮忙打扫会场
0:03:50.95,	which was awesome	那也是件大好事
0:03:51.65,	because I got to meet next year's trig teacher.	因为我见到了下学期教三角学的老师
0:03:54.41,	That is not the prom I remember.	我记忆中的舞会可不是这样的
0:03:56.04,	I have such a bad headache!	我头痛死了
0:03:58.13,	That's the prom I remember.	这才是我记忆中的舞会
0:03:59.81,	Were you drinking?	你喝酒了吗
0:04:00.72,	Mom, do we really have to do this?	妈 你非得又跟我来这一套吗
0:04:03.06,	You ask if I was drinking, I say "No,"	你问我喝酒了吗 我坚决否认
0:04:05.02,	and we both know that that's not true.	可你我都知道那不是真的
0:04:07.41,	I mean, aren't we past this point in our relationship?	我们不是早就玩腻这一套了吗
0:04:10.13,	No, young lady, we are not.	才怪 小姑娘 我们才没有
0:04:11.57,	Then I wasn't drinking.	那我就没喝酒
0:04:13.93,	Me neither, mrs. D.	我也没喝 邓夫人
0:04:15.96,	Dear God. Tell me he did not spend the night here.	我的天 别告诉我他在家里过夜了
0:04:18.33,	Mom, do we really have to do this?	妈 你非要又跟我来这一套吗
0:04:22.72,	Mom, I have a big decision to make	妈 我需要做出一个重大决定
0:04:24.37,	about poetry camp this summer.	是关于今年的诗歌夏令营的
0:04:25.90,	Is this about the walking sticks again?	又是关于要带哪根手杖吗
0:04:27.93,	Pack them all and decide when you're there.	全带上 等你到了那儿再决定用哪根吧
0:04:29.88,	I can either focus on sonnets or free verse.	我可以主攻十四行诗和自由诗体
0:04:32.49,	I've always fancied myself a sonneteer,	我一直自诩为十四行诗大师
0:04:34.80,	But I'm thinking the free verse girls	但我在想 那些推崇自由诗体的女孩
0:04:36.36,	will be freer with everything,	在那方面应该也很"自由"
0:04:38.05,	If you catch my meaning.	你懂我的意思吧
0:04:41.00,	Hmm? Ay. I'm sorry, Manny.	对不起 曼尼
0:04:42.33,	I'm sure you will make the right decision.	我相信你一定能做出正确的决定
0:04:44.48,	Are you okay? You seem distracted.	你没事吧 你似乎心不在焉的
0:04:46.74,	Manny, sit down. I have to tell you something.	曼尼 快坐下 我得告诉你一些事
0:04:49.81,	What?	什么
0:04:52.16,	I am pregnant.	我怀孕了
0:04:54.54,	You're what?	你什么
0:04:55.51,	I'm going to have a baby.	我又要当妈了
0:04:57.86,	Wow.	哇
0:04:58.92,	What?	怎么
0:04:59.94,	You're not happy?	你不开心吗
0:05:01.16,	Yeah. Sure.	开心 当然开心
0:05:02.63,	It's just a lot to take in.	只是消息太猛 一时难以接受
0:05:04.59,	And I'll be honest, this isn't coming at a great time for me,	老实说 新生命来的真不是好时候
0:05:06.87,	With everything I've got going on.	我现在有一大堆事要忙
0:05:08.58,	This is not your responsibility.	照顾孩子又不是你的责任
0:05:10.53,	Neither is our wooden salad bowl,	家里的木制沙拉碗也不是我的责任啊
0:05:11.92,	But I'm the only one who oils it.	但只有我给它涂油
0:05:13.36,	Without me, that thing would soak up dressing like a sponge.	没有我 那木碗会像海绵一样吸光沙拉料
0:05:15.70,	Manny, I can take care of a baby.	曼尼 我可以照顾好宝宝的
0:05:17.52,	I took care of you.	我成功地把你照顾长大
0:05:18.72,	Please. I was an anomaly. I self-potty trained.	拜托 我是个奇才 我自学的怎么用便壶
0:05:21.70,	I just did not get the appeal	当年幼小的我就是不明白
0:05:23.45,	of intentionally soiling one's pants.	为什么要故意把屎尿拉在裤子上呢
0:05:25.90,	That said,	然而鉴于此
0:05:26.86,	I will admit to missing the kisses on my tummy.	我也承认很怀念妈妈在我小肚子上的亲亲
0:05:29.67,	How did Jay take it?	杰是什么反应
0:05:31.91,	I haven't been able to tell him yet.	我还没有告诉他
0:05:33.80,	He might not be too thrilled.	他可能不会太欣喜
0:05:35.62,	Do you think? I was starting to wonder the same thing.	你这么想吗 我也开始这么想了
0:05:38.67,	He doesn't deal well with change.	他不喜欢接受改变
0:05:40.23,	I know.	我知道
0:05:41.16,	He still checks the front step for the evening paper.	他现在还每天都在前门查看晚报到了没有
0:05:44.03,	Don't worry, mom. I'm sure he'll adapt.	别担心 妈 我相信他会适应的
0:05:46.90,	Although, he still does call the remote the "Clicker."	尽管 他现在还把遥控器叫做"敲控器"
0:05:50.27,	Ay, yeah.	是啊
0:05:55.86,	I'm bored, daddy. Make the car dance.	我好无聊 爹地 让汽车跳舞吧
0:05:58.59,	All right. But just for a second, all right?	好吧 但只能跳一会儿 好吗
0:06:04.71,	Do it again.	再来一次
0:06:05.91,	No. Once was enough.	不 一次就够了
0:06:07.63,	If I can't have a brother, then I want the car to dance.	如果我不能有个弟弟 那我就要汽车跳舞
0:06:12.04,	Wow, you are really comfortable playing that card.	你还真会一次又一次地用这招啊
0:06:18.19,	They wouldn't take 'em.	他们不收
0:06:21.80,	They were afraid they might have bedbugs.	他们害怕这些东西身上有臭虫
0:06:23.70,	Are you serious? They rejected our donation?	开什么玩笑 他们拒绝了我们的捐赠吗
0:06:26.49,	I was so offended,	我深感被冒犯
0:06:27.54,	I almost didn't buy this fiestaware creamer.	差点没买这个小奶油壶
0:06:29.18,	2 bucks.	只要2块哦
0:06:30.01,	Didn't know what they had.	之前还不知道他们有这好东西呢
0:06:31.75,	Ah! Score.	哈 扳回一分
0:06:33.40,	So what are we gonna do now?	我们接下来要干什么
0:06:35.42,	Get a kitten and then name it Larry.	弄只猫 然后给它取名拉里
0:06:38.43,	Lily, honey, this is hardly the day to get a kitten, okay?	莉莉 亲爱的 现在养猫不合适
0:06:40.83,	Would you just tell her?	你能跟她说说吗
0:06:41.87,	I don't know.	我不知道
0:06:43.65,	I kinda want one now.	我现在也想弄一只
0:06:45.66,	You know, we have been through a lot,	我们经历了太多的不愉快
0:06:47.02,	And maybe the presence of a cuddly little friend	或许领回家一只有爱的小宠物
0:06:50.58,	will help us ease the pain.	能帮助我们愈合心中的伤口
0:06:52.52,	Okay, so what you're saying is,	好吧 你的意思是说
0:06:53.99,	You have a child-shaped hole in your heart,	你心中有个婴儿形状的伤口
0:06:55.78,	And your plan is to cram a cat into there?	你打算用一只猫去堵住那伤口吗
0:06:59.92,	He has a name.	他是有名字的
0:07:02.85,	I can't wait till your eyes adjust to the light,	我等不及看到你的眼睛重见光明时
0:07:04.98,	and we see the look on your face.	你脸上那惊喜的表情
0:07:06.57,	I hate you guys.	我恨你们
0:07:07.90,	Hey, Phil, you ever think about growing a beard?	嘿 菲尔 你想过要留胡子吗
0:07:10.23,	I mean, you got the face for it.	我是说 你的脸型很适合的
0:07:11.69,	- You think? - Yeah.	你那样觉得吗-是啊
0:07:12.59,	That's funny. I always thought so, but my wife doesn't.	有意思 我也一直想留 但我老婆不喜欢
0:07:14.66,	Oh, what does she know?	她知道个什么啊
0:07:15.33,	Come on, you got a great nose, those deep-set eyes.	瞧瞧 你鼻子那么有型 眼睛又那么深邃
0:07:17.92,	I mean, you would look good.	我是说 你留胡子一定超帅的
0:07:19.66,	Thanks, Shorty.	谢谢你 小短
0:07:20.60,	[乔·哈姆为名剧《广告狂人》主演	在戏外经常以大胡子形象示人]
0:07:20.63,	It's, uh, sort of a Jon Hamm in between projects.	有点像乔·哈姆在戏外的造型
0:07:23.61,	Okay, put me back in the trunk.	好了 把我放回车厢里吧
0:07:24.95,	Relax, you're almost there.	放松 你就快到了
0:07:25.97,	Nope, I'm done now!	不 我不干了
0:07:27.10,	- Hey, jay, no! - No! No! No! Hey!	-嘿 杰 -不 不 不
0:07:28.66,	Jay! Jay!	杰 杰
0:07:31.31,	- Jay! - Son of a bitch!	杰-狗娘养的
0:07:32.80,	Somebody help me!	快来个人救我
0:07:34.08,	I would, but--but these pants are cashmere!	我也想啊 但我的裤子是山羊绒的
0:07:36.30,	I got you, Jay!	我来救你 杰
0:07:38.76,	You gotta calm him down!	你得让他冷静下来
0:07:40.38,	- Punch him in the head! - Don't punch him in the head!	打他的头-别打他的头
0:07:42.64,	Don't make me punch you! I will punch you to save you!	别逼我打晕你 我会为了救你打晕你的
0:07:45.05,	I think I'm being waterboarded.	我觉得我像是在被施水刑一样
0:07:46.13,	You're making me do this!	是你逼我的
0:07:49.26,	Get this thing off me!	把这玩意儿拿下来
0:07:53.03,	Happy birthday.	生日快乐
0:07:54.55,	We're taking you fishing.	我们是打算带你钓鱼的
0:07:57.52,	For whatever it's worth,	不管怎么说
0:07:58.48,	Dylan was very responsible last night.	迪兰昨晚非常表现得极具责任感
0:08:00.63,	He's a good guy to have around the house.	家里能有他真好
0:08:03.11,	Mm. Where we going with this?	你到底想说什么
0:08:04.23,	Well, since I can't move in with him anymore,	既然我不能搬去和他一起住
0:08:06.38,	He can't afford his apartment.	他负担不起他的房租钱
0:08:07.95,	So I was wondering if it would be okay	所以我在想能不能
0:08:10.93,	if he could stay with us for a couple weeks?	让他和我们一起住几个星期
0:08:13.41,	Sure. Oh, you know what?	当然可以 不如
0:08:14.91,	Why don't you guys take our room?	把我们的大房间让给你们吧
0:08:19.16,	She's being facetious.	她那是戏谑的说法
0:08:21.54,	Sarcastic.	就是讽刺
0:08:23.42,	Dylan no stay.	迪兰不能搬进来
0:08:24.91,	what?!	什么
0:08:25.78,	Oh, come on! He helps out a lot.	拜托 他能帮许多忙
0:08:27.12,	He is very handy.	他手可巧了
0:08:28.96,	Really? The guy who locked himself in his car?	是吗 他不是曾把自己反锁在车里吗
0:08:31.88,	You are in no position to be asking for favors, young lady.	你没资格开口向我求情 小姐
0:08:34.77,	Here. Drink this. It's for your hangover.	来 把这个喝了 解酒的
0:08:38.25,	Ugh. It smells gross.	闻着太恶心了
0:08:39.31,	Well, then you better drink it fast.	那你就快点儿喝嘛
0:08:45.74,	Ew! I'm gonna throw up! Ugh! Ugh!	恶 我要吐了
0:08:51.28,	That's a hangover cure?	那是解酒的吗
0:08:53.02,	No.	不是
0:08:55.03,	Well, this is probably shot.	我这手机应该是短路了
0:08:57.19,	Once again, I'd like to apologize for punching you in the head.	我得再跟你说声对不起 不该打你头
0:09:00.48,	It really was the only way to save you	可是只有这样才能救你
0:09:02.03,	since you were bound and... hooded,	你当时双手被绑着 头也被 罩着
0:09:04.64,	which leads me to my second apology.	我还得再为这个道个歉
0:09:06.35,	Gentlemen, come on. As my uncle used to say,	先生们 得了 就像我叔叔常说的
0:09:08.88,	let's not let a botched kidnapping ruin our whole afternoon.	别让一次搞砸了的绑架毁了整个午后时光
0:09:11.54,	He's right. The whole point of this	他说的对 这件事的重点在于
0:09:13.64,	is for you to enjoy the lake with your three best friends.	让你和三个最好的朋友享受湖上风光
0:09:16.90,	Stan coming?	斯坦来了吗
0:09:18.42,	菲尔以为是在说别人
0:09:18.43,	Burn!	好受伤
0:09:20.38,	So... 65, huh?	65岁了哈
0:09:23.03,	You're heading into the best years of your life.	你即将迎来人生中最美好的日子
0:09:25.47,	That's right.	说的对
0:09:26.10,	You put in the work. You climbed the mountain.	你兢兢业业工作过 该爬的山也都爬了
0:09:27.57,	Now it's time to reap the rewards.	现在是接受奖赏的时刻了
0:09:29.77,	I guess you're right.	我想你是对的
0:09:30.55,	Sounds pretty good to me.	我觉得相当美好啊
0:09:31.63,	You know, the more I look at you,	你知道吗 我越看你
0:09:33.08,	the angrier I get that you don't got a beard.	就越气愤你咋不留胡子呢
0:09:35.13,	I had a soul patch once.	我留过灵魂补丁款的[下唇留小撮胡子]
0:09:36.32,	A soul patch? That's like a beard's crap.	灵魂补丁 那是胡子界的耻辱
0:09:39.44,	I golfed six times last week.	我上周打了6次高尔夫
0:09:41.64,	found 42 balls-- a new record.	找到了42颗球 创下新纪录了
0:09:43.80,	I don't think my falcon could have found that many,	我觉得我的猎鹰肯定找不到那么多
0:09:45.44,	And he can spot a mouse at 600 yards.	不过它能发现600码开外的老鼠
0:09:47.82,	Whats that have to do with beards?	这和胡子有一毛钱关系吗
0:09:49.49,	I thought we were talking about Jay turning 65	我们不是在探讨杰已经65岁
0:09:51.32,	and how good that's gonna be.	而65岁有多棒的话题吗
0:09:52.63,	That's right. It's gonna be great, jay.	对啊 这岁数好啊 杰
0:09:53.99,	I'm telling ya. I got a vegetable garden.	我跟你说 我开垦了一片菜地
0:09:56.35,	Two years ago, it was a patch of dirt in my backyard.	两年前 那就是我院子里的一个泥坑
0:09:59.02,	Now I got tomatoes, I got five kinds of beans,	现在我种上了西红柿 五种豆豆
0:10:01.74,	I got squash.	还有南瓜
0:10:02.79,	And between you and me,	我只告诉你
0:10:04.35,	I'm even thinking about pickling my own cucumbers.	我都开始考虑自己腌制酸黄瓜了
0:10:06.48,	Why would that be between you and me?	为啥这个只对我说
0:10:08.30,	Because there's a finite number of pickles.	因为腌菜数量有限呐
0:10:11.11,	But don't worry. All you guys are on the list.	别担心 你俩也有份
0:10:12.91,	Well, I'd like to make a toast.	我想来祝个词
0:10:15.46,	To Jay, who's not particularly buoyant.	敬杰 虽然你已经没啥潜力了
0:10:17.62,	And again, I'm very sorry about that.	再次地 我对此深表遗憾
0:10:19.18,	But he's the best father-in-law a guy could ask for.	但他是世上难寻的绝佳岳父
0:10:21.71,	All right. And we're--we're all really lucky to know him. Cheers.	我们能够认识他 都非常幸运 干杯
0:10:24.41,	- Here, here. - Salud.	-来 来吧 -祝你健康
0:10:26.38,	Thanks, guys. You know what?	谢谢伙计们 你们知道吗
0:10:27.41,	It is kinda nice being out here with all of ya.	和你们一起出来非常开心
0:10:29.53,	Hey, let's do some fishing.	我们钓鱼吧
0:10:31.05,	I'm starting to feel better now that I'm finally getting dry.	我感觉好多了 身上总算快干了
0:10:33.84,	Let's do this!	钓鱼吧
0:10:34.86,	- Let's go! - All right!	走吧-好的
0:10:42.69,	Sure.	当然
0:10:43.48,	You know,	你知道吗
0:10:43.85,	I had a little peppermints schnapps at my prom,	我在毕业舞会上喝了一点儿薄荷杜松子酒
0:10:45.69,	but I hid it from my parents	但我瞒过了我的父母
0:10:47.10,	and I kicked my boyfriend out before they woke up.	而且在他们起床前 把我男友弄出了门
0:10:49.55,	It's called respect.	那叫做起码的尊重
0:10:52.33,	I'm pregnant.	我怀孕了
0:10:54.52,	You're gonna get fat.	你要变肥了
0:10:56.82,	You--oh! I mean...	你 我是说
0:10:58.33,	That's great. It's great! You're pregnant!	太好了 太好了 你怀孕了
0:11:00.41,	It's great! Congratulations!	棒极了 恭喜你
0:11:03.53,	It was a surprise.	其实是个意外之喜
0:11:04.74,	Yeah, I'll bet. What did my dad say?	可不是嘛 我爸爸怎么说
0:11:06.77,	I haven't told him yet.	我还没有告诉他
0:11:08.19,	I worry that he's going to think it's not such great news.	我担心他会觉得这个不是个好消息
0:11:11.90,	Ohh, no. Don't be silly.	不会的 别傻了
0:11:14.06,	He's gonna be thrilled.	他会高兴死的
0:11:16.55,	I knew he wasn't gonna be thrilled.	我知道他才不会高兴呢
0:11:18.65,	And if history was any indication,	如果历史可以为鉴
0:11:20.77,	he wasn't gonna be able to hide it.	他也不会掩盖自己情绪的
0:11:22.87,	It's a french canadian delicacy called poutine.	这是一款法式加拿大美味 叫做布丁
0:11:26.03,	Mm. Well, it looks like vomit,	看着像是别人吐出来的
0:11:26.98,	So I'm not pou-ting it in my mouth.	我才不会让那东西"补丁"进我嘴里
0:11:32.89,	We're here!	我们来了
0:11:36.15,	What'd you do to your hair?	你头发怎么了
0:11:37.21,	I thought I'd try something different.	我想尝试一下新发型
0:11:38.56,	What, looking old?	干嘛 为了显老吗
0:11:42.66,	I had to get to dad	我得赶在老爸
0:11:43.66,	Before he said something insensitive to Gloria.	对歌洛莉亚说出刻薄话前找到他
0:11:47.60,	But she is gonna get really fat, though.	但她肯定会变得很肥的
0:11:52.09,	Dad, call me back.	爸 给我回电话
0:11:53.50,	I have something very important to tell you	我有很重要的事要告诉你
0:11:55.05,	So when you get home you don't say something stupid	那样你回家后就不会说些蠢话
0:11:56.83,	Like you usually do.	就像你以前常干的那样
0:11:58.03,	oh, happy birthday.	噢 生日快乐
0:12:00.51,	Yeah. I've gotta say,	我不得不说
0:12:02.73,	You're handling this baby thing better than I would've expected.	你对新宝宝一事的反应 比我想的要淡定的多
0:12:05.49,	What do you mean?	你什么意思
0:12:06.32,	You're used to being the only kid in the house.	你已经习惯了当家里唯一的孩子
0:12:08.35,	Now there's gonna be a new kid. Jay's kid.	马上就会多个新的孩子 杰的亲生孩子
0:12:11.35,	So?	那又如何
0:12:12.13,	Well, the old Manny would've been worried	以前的曼尼肯定会担心
0:12:13.74,	That Jay would love the new kid more.	杰会更疼爱新出生的孩子
0:12:15.88,	I think you're underestimating how adorable I am.	我觉得你太低估我的可爱乖巧了
0:12:18.11,	You're right. You're way cuter than a baby.	你说得对 你可比小宝宝萌多了
0:12:20.94,	I'm gonna go check on dinner.	我去看看晚饭好了没有
0:12:24.56,	Sometimes I just like to toss a grenade and run away.	有时候我就喜欢扔个炸弹 然后走开
0:12:29.01,	All right, take a whiff.	来 吸一口气
0:12:30.34,	Make sure you like it,	确定你喜欢这味道哦
0:12:31.15,	cause that's what our couch is gonna smell like.	因为以后我们家沙发就会是这味儿了
0:12:33.63,	Okay, hi. Yes, we're gonna take this one.	你好 我们就打算要这只了
0:12:35.44,	Oh, I'm gonna need you to slow down a bit.	你们先别急着要
0:12:37.43,	There's a process we need to go through	我们有一些手续要办
0:12:39.21,	to see if you're a suitable cat guardian.	以确定你们是否有资格养猫
0:12:41.12,	Oh, really? Because I thought the process was,	噢是吗 我以为手续就是
0:12:42.59,	I say, "We'll take this one."	我表示看中了这只
0:12:43.51,	And then you say, "Thank god because we have too many cats."	而你感激涕零 因为你们囤猫太多
0:12:45.48,	No. We need to ensure these cats are going to good homes.	不 我们得确保它们都能找到好归宿
0:12:48.34,	That's why we need you to fill out this form,	所以你们得先填了这张表
0:12:50.18,	And then there'll be a site visit.	然后我们会到你们家实地拜访
0:12:51.78,	Okay, um, we've just been through a very frustrating year	是这样 一年来我们饱尝各种辛酸麻烦
0:12:54.20,	trying to adopt a baby, so...	就为了领养个孩子 所以
0:12:56.43,	You'll forgive us if we're not really in the mood	希望你能体谅我们实在不愿意
0:12:58.08,	to jump through too many hoops for a cat.	为一只猫搞得太折腾
0:13:00.18,	Oh. Why wouldn't they give you a baby?	为什么你们没领养成功
0:13:02.13,	- It's complicated. - So are cats.	那问题很复杂-领养猫也是
0:13:03.64,	Are they? 'cause that one over there has been licking	是吗 那边那只猫一直在舔自己
0:13:05.52,	itself ever since we got here.	从我们来一直舔到现在
0:13:06.76,	Okay, you know what? I'm--I can't do this.	好吧 我...我弄不下去了
0:13:10.09,	What about Larry?	拉里怎么办
0:13:11.43,	I'm sorry, Lily. Not today.	抱歉 莉莉 今天不行
0:13:15.50,	Mitchell stormed off, but I couldn't.	米奇尔一走了之 我可不会善罢甘休
0:13:17.73,	I had to give her a piece of my mind.	我得给她点颜色瞧瞧
0:13:19.15,	And how'd that go?	结果呢
0:13:20.04,	I may have strayed off topic just a bit.	我想我可能跑偏了一点点
0:13:22.27,	No, sir!	不可能 大姐
0:13:23.25,	No, she will always be Norma Jeane Baker to me.	不 在我心中她永远是单纯的诺玛·简[梦露原名]
0:13:25.68,	What is your point, exactly?	你到底想说什么
0:13:26.99,	That like the thrice-married starlet,	就像离过三次婚的女星
0:13:28.87,	This cat is being deprived a stable home.	这只猫被剥夺了享受家庭温暖的权利
0:13:31.78,	I'm sorry if you're upset.	我很抱歉让你不高兴了
0:13:33.15,	You're the one who should be upset, ma'am.	真正该不高兴的人是你才对吧 女士
0:13:35.11,	we are animals lovers.	我们可是喜欢动物的爱心人士
0:13:37.63,	That cat would've been on the receiving end of affection	那只猫原本可以享"受"最完美的呵护
0:13:40.50,	24 hours a day.	24小时不间断
0:13:42.36,	Satisfying its every need would've been our top priority.	满足它的全部需求将成为我们的首要任务
0:13:51.76,	Okay, in light of that tableau,	好吧 鉴于这样的画面
0:13:53.12,	I would like to take back the phrase "Receiving end."	我要收回之前说的让那只猫享"受"
0:13:56.24,	Mom, I've decided I'm not going to poetry camp.	老妈 我决定不参加诗歌夏令营了
0:13:58.81,	What? Why not?	什么 为什么
0:13:59.97,	cause by the time I come back,	因为等我回来的时候
0:14:01.26,	Jay will have turned my room into a nursery.	杰会把我的房间变成婴儿房
0:14:03.00,	No, he won't.	不 他不会的
0:14:03.94,	I'm not his real kid.	我不是他亲生的
0:14:05.17,	I'll be as insignificant as a whisper in a windstorm.	我将如狂风中的耳语一般被无视
0:14:07.83,	Oh, listen to you. You have a gift.	瞧你说的 你这么有天赋
0:14:10.62,	You have to go to the poetry camp.	你必须去参加诗歌夏令营
0:14:12.11,	I don't think I can	恐怕我是不会去了
0:14:13.18,	Manny, please. I have too much to worry about right now.	曼尼拜托 我现在已经够烦心的了
0:14:15.80,	Okay?-You?	好吗-你
0:14:16.94,	I dug a pretty big hole for myself	我才是自掘坟墓
0:14:18.45,	with those insult jokes this morning.	今早说了那么多冒犯他的笑话
0:14:20.34,	Why didn't I learn from Rickles?	为什么我不学学里格斯
0:14:21.96,	You gotta end with some ticker.	得在结束时来点摇摆小舞
0:14:25.82,	Okay, I give up.	算了 我认输
0:14:26.70,	I can't find a position that's not sexual.	我实在摆不出一个不淫荡的体位
0:14:28.87,	- Just calm down. - I can't calm down.	淡定-我淡定不了
0:14:31.01,	You know, maybe we're not as okay as we keep saying we are.	也许我们没有嘴上说的那么没事
0:14:34.09,	- I know. - Maybe we should go away.	我知道-也许我们该离开一段时间
0:14:36.57,	You know, go someplace to heal.	到一个陌生的地方去疗伤
0:14:38.84,	Where?	哪里
0:14:39.92,	Well, someplace with a vibrant theater scene...	一个拥有华丽剧院的地方
0:14:42.90,	Top-notch restaurants...	处处是高级餐厅
0:14:45.20,	The jewel of Missouri's white river.	密苏里怀特河畔的风水宝地
0:14:46.37,	We're not going to Branson.	我们才不要去布兰森
0:14:47.55,	Okay, fine. Where would you go?	好吧 你想去哪里
0:14:50.84,	I don't know. Maybe europe?	不知道 欧洲如何
0:14:52.58,	London?	伦敦
0:14:53.50,	Just somewhere far away.	越远越好
0:14:57.36,	-I'm just sad, Cam. - I am, too.	-我好悲伤 小卡 -我也是
0:14:59.77,	You know, I had our mornings all planned out.	我把以后早晨怎么度过都打算好了
0:15:03.05,	The baby and I would walk Lily to kindergarten	我抱着宝宝送莉莉去幼儿园
0:15:05.50,	and then cut back home through the park	然后穿过公园回家
0:15:06.93,	and feed those ducks that you're not supposed to feed	停下来喂喂鸭子 虽然公园不让喂
0:15:08.46,	but everybody does.	但大家都在喂
0:15:10.72,	I bought a picture frame for my desk,	我买了相框放在桌上
0:15:12.36,	and it's just sitting there,	它一直在那里静静等待
0:15:14.99,	Waiting for his face.	他的出现
0:15:16.71,	Come here.	抱抱
0:15:21.10,	I already feel better.	我感觉好多了
0:15:22.22,	Me, too.	我也是
0:15:23.23,	See what the power of a hug can do?	瞧瞧拥抱的力量
0:15:25.19,	Just saved us a long plane ride with a toddler.	省了我们长途跋涉的一路颠簸
0:15:27.10,	- And a cat that we didn't want. - Oh, we're still getting that.	也省了搞一只猫回来-猫还是得有的
0:15:32.47,	All right, how does this look?	瞧 看上去如何
0:15:34.60,	Perfectly innocent. They're not even touching.	超级纯情 都没有肢体接触
0:15:37.87,	Great. Okay. Let's go.	很好 走吧
0:15:39.25,	All right.	好吧
0:15:40.60,	You ready, honey?	坐好了 宝贝
0:15:46.81,	Go. Go.	去吧 去吧
0:15:49.42,	Hey, Mrs. Dunphy?	你好 邓菲太太
0:15:50.87,	I heard about what Haley asked you, and just so you know,	我听说了海莉问你的事 其实我想告诉你
0:15:53.45,	I never wanted to put you in that position.	我不是有意让你为难
0:15:56.03,	- I'll be fine. - That's good to know.	没关系的-那就好
0:15:59.38,	My cousin Dylan said I could stay at his house.	我表哥迪兰说我可以在他家里住
0:16:01.79,	Well, not really at his house.	虽然 其实不是真的家里
0:16:04.05,	More like behind it... In the garage.	准确的说是...车库
0:16:06.58,	Okay.	不错啊
0:16:07.47,	Well, actually, there are no walls,	其实 那里没有墙
0:16:09.05,	So it's more of a porte cochere.	所以更准确的说是停车门廊
0:16:10.56,	Fancy.	挺好嘛
0:16:11.53,	Anyway, I'll be sleeping in it.	反正 我就在那里睡
0:16:13.11,	It's got a bathroom.	那里有卫生间的
0:16:15.06,	More of a half-bath.	准确的说 是半间
0:16:16.39,	It's a coffee can.	是个咖啡罐
0:16:18.57,	Ohh. Anyway, I'll be fine	总之 我会过得很好
0:16:20.02,	once I find a nice tent to protect me from the coyotes.	只要能发现一个抵御郊狼袭击的帐篷就行
0:16:22.52,	Well, be sure to hang your food up high.	记得把食物挂在高处
0:16:25.35,	we're back!	我们回来啦
0:16:27.11,	Birthday boy's here!	寿星驾到
0:16:29.00,	Hey, Jay, you're all wrinkled.	杰 你浑身都皱皱的
0:16:30.31,	Yeah, yeah, I'm old. I get it.	是啊 你想说我人老皮皱
0:16:31.90,	No, I mean your clothes.	不 我是指你的衣服
0:16:33.00,	Yeah, when I was your age, I was wearing animal skins.	像你这么大的时候 我都披兽皮
0:16:34.85,	Bam! You got me.	哗 你戏谑到我了
0:16:35.79,	I think, bam! You got yourself.	我觉得 哗 你戏谑到你自己了
0:16:37.50,	I'm just expressing concern.	我只是表示关心而已
0:16:38.77,	Let me guess-- about my bone density.	让我想想 关心我的骨质密度
0:16:40.61,	You know, you're a real smart-ass.	不得不说 你真是个聪明蛋
0:16:41.97,	At this rate, I'll be living in the basement.	这样下去 我得住地下室了
0:16:44.29,	Lucky.	真幸运
0:16:45.75,	Dad? Dad, okay, quick. Just come here one second.	爸 爸 快点 过来一下
0:16:48.28,	I gotta tell you something.	我有事跟你说
0:16:49.20,	Somebody is about to tell you some very important news.	有人会告诉你一件非常重要的事情
0:16:53.79,	And for the first time in your life,	这辈子第一次
0:16:55.42,	I need you to react nicely.	请你说些好听的话
0:16:56.91,	- I always react nicely. - You never do.	我总是捡好听的说-从没有过
0:16:59.51,	And this person in question is very vulnerable right now.	我说的那个人现在非常脆弱无助
0:17:02.51,	So could you please just be loving and supportive?	所以求你一定要表现出关爱与支持
0:17:05.85,	- Happy birthday, dad! - Oh, thank you.	-生日快乐 老爸 -谢谢
0:17:07.94,	That's a boy.	好孩子
0:17:09.36,	Sorry we're late, but it's for a good reason.	抱歉我们迟到了 但事出有因
0:17:13.08,	We're thinking about getting a cat.	我们考虑养只猫
0:17:15.87,	Well, isn't that wonderful?	那 真是太好了
0:17:17.97,	I'm thrilled for you both. This is a heck of a decision.	我为你们感到激动 这是个重大决定
0:17:20.84,	You have my full support.	我完全支持
0:17:24.88,	Okay.	好的
0:17:25.56,	I think it'll be a perfect addition to the family.	家里再添位成员真是太好了
0:17:27.48,	I know I'll love the heck out of the little bugger.	我知道我自己会爱死那小家伙的
0:17:29.68,	I'm just hoping that little one over there doesn't get jealous.	我只希望那边的小家伙不要吃醋
0:17:32.03,	Oh, this little one will be just fine	噢 "这个小家伙"不会有事的
0:17:33.58,	now that he knows where he stands--	现在他知道自己在家是个啥地位了
0:17:35.15,	In the shadow of your new baby!	活在你新宝贝的阴影下
0:17:36.68,	What's he talking about?	他说什么呢
0:17:37.95,	He's talking about I am pregnant.	他说的是我怀孕的事
0:17:40.39,	- Oh, come on! - Pregnant?!	拜托-怀孕
0:17:42.15,	You gotta be kidding me!	你开玩笑吧
0:17:43.20,	Oh, gross. I didn't know grandpa could still do it.	恶心 我没想到外公还能做
0:17:45.43,	Don't be disrespectful, Luke.	别这么无礼 卢克
0:17:46.86,	Anyone could do it with Gloria.	面对歌洛莉亚 谁都能硬起来
0:17:48.63,	And if you're too set in your old ways to be happy about it,	如果你习惯了一成不变的生活 不乐意接受
0:17:52.25,	I can raise it on my own.	我可以一个人养大这孩子
0:17:53.62,	I have done it before, and I can do it now!	我以前养过 现在也可以做到
0:17:55.76,	I come from a very long line of strong Latin women	我和众多久经考验的坚强拉美女性一样
0:17:59.25,	whose husbands are nowhere to be found!	习惯了不见老公的鬼影
0:18:03.00,	- Are you done? - Yes!	你说完了吗-是的
0:18:05.29,	- Can I say something? - Go on!	我能发表意见吗-请说
0:18:07.77,	That's the greatest news I've ever heard.	这是我这辈子听到的最棒的消息
0:18:11.11,	It is?	是吗
0:18:11.97,	I spent the day hearing what my future had in store for me,	我一整天都在听我的未来依然光明的鬼话
0:18:15.64,	and I didn't like one bit of it.	没一句我爱听的
0:18:17.38,	It felt like my life was ending.	感觉像我的人生已经到头了
0:18:19.80,	And now you're telling me that I get to have a new start...	现在你告诉我 我能有个全新的开始
0:18:23.65,	with the woman of my dreams.	和我心爱的女人一起
0:18:27.09,	I think I'm gonna cry.	我觉得我快哭了
0:18:28.59,	I'm way ahead of you.	我早哭了
0:18:29.88,	Can you believe this?	你能相信吗
0:18:30.73,	I know. They wouldn't even let us get a cat.	就是说啊 人家连猫都不让我们养
0:18:33.36,	It's gonna be great!	真是太好了
0:18:34.65,	I'm gonna get so fat.	我会变成大肥婆
0:18:36.23,	Mostly great.	大部分都挺好[除了变胖]
0:18:44.10,	Oh, gross. They're at it again.	恶心 他们又来了
0:18:46.20,	If you don't like it, don't look.	你不喜欢就别看
0:18:49.15,	She looks great, doesn't she?	她看起来不错啊 是吧
0:18:50.68,	Yeah.	是啊
0:18:52.08,	Not really gaining weight the way I would've expected.	我一直腹黑地希望她增肥 没想到是增在肚子上
0:18:54.55,	I finally understand why people say pregnant women glow.	我终于明白了为何大家都说孕妇光彩照人
0:18:57.56,	Phil, I have had three children.	菲尔 我怀过三次
0:18:59.69,	Hey, dad, Gloria, open our present.	爸 歌洛莉亚 拆我们的礼物吧
0:19:02.06,	Ooh! I hope it's something fancy.	希望是高级货
0:19:05.38,	It's for the baby. I love it!	是给宝宝的 我好喜欢
0:19:08.20,	We got it in a shop at Heathrow, duty free.	我们在希思罗机场买的 免税
0:19:08.20,	[Duty既指税 又指宝宝拉屎拉尿]
0:19:12.27,	Not for long.	很快就不能"免屎"了
0:19:14.01,	Isn't it absolutely brilliant?	是不是好棒的说
0:19:15.39,	Okay, we were in london two weeks.	我们在伦敦就待了两周
0:19:16.82,	Lose the accent, Madonna.	别拽口音了 麦当娜
0:19:18.01,	Why is your face all scratched up?	你的脸上怎么全是抓痕
0:19:19.76,	Stupid Larry.	白痴拉里干的好事
0:19:21.03,	This feels so weird.	感觉好怪
0:19:22.53,	It suits you.	很适合你
0:19:23.78,	Don't even joke about it.	别开没营养的玩笑
0:19:26.39,	That's it. He is moving out of the house tomorrow.	够了 他明天就得给我搬
0:19:28.94,	Really?	真的吗
0:19:30.00,	Oh, and that beard is going.	你的胡子也得刮
0:19:31.63,	Fine, but it's gonna kill shorty.	好吧 但小短可得伤心死了
0:19:35.18,	Okay, everybody, let's gather together.	好了各位 都过来吧
0:19:37.31,	Manny's gonna read us a little something	曼尼将为大家读一段
0:19:39.72,	that he prepare in his poetry camp.	他在诗歌夏令营中做的诗
0:19:41.93,	Thank you, mom.	多谢 妈
0:19:43.18,	This is for my new baby brother or sister.	谨以此诗献给我即将到来的弟弟或妹妹
0:19:46.86,	Welcome, little one.\N欢迎你 小家伙
0:19:48.46,	Open your eyes and take your place.	张开双眼 融入这个家吧
0:19:50.79,	This is where you're meant to be,	这里是你命中注定的归宿
0:19:52.33,	Nestled in the bosom of your mother."	依偎在母亲的胸前
0:19:54.23,	Lucky baby.	真幸运的宝宝
0:19:55.26,	What?-Love you,baby.	什么-爱你 宝贝
0:19:58.04,	This is where you're meant to be,\N这里是你命中注定的归宿
0:19:59.56,	in the arms of your father.	父亲的怀抱
0:20:01.51,	His long, long journey has readied him for this day,	他的漫长人生造就了今日的他
0:20:04.79,	though his skin may be loose,	尽管他的皮肤也许松弛了
0:20:06.54,	his hair but a wisp,	他的头发已稀疏
0:20:08.00,	and his eyes milky with age,"	岁月的沉淀让他的眼神混浊不清
0:20:09.66,	All right, we're done here.	好了 就念到这里吧
0:20:12.08,	Get a drink.	得去喝一杯
0:20:14.90,	Don't feel bad about making move out, mrs. D.	别为你赶我走的事心怀愧疚 邓太太
0:20:17.51,	I knew this day would come eventually,	我知道这一天终会到来
0:20:18.80,	and I'm totally covered.	我有心理准备
0:20:20.19,	Great. So we'll see you around.	太好了 那我们回见了
0:20:21.95,	I got a place with an old friend of mine.	我有个老朋友那里有地方
0:20:23.77,	Well, not so much of a place as a storage pod.	与其说地方 不如说是储物间
0:20:27.29,	And not so much of a... friend as a raccoon.	与其说是朋友 不如说是浣熊
0:20:30.21,	Good to know you'll have company.	你有室友我很开心
0:20:32.00,	I call him bubbles because his mouth is all foamy.	我叫它小泡 因为它的嘴里全是泡沫
0:20:34.70,	Dylan, I'm on to your little game.	迪兰 你的小把戏我早看穿了
0:20:36.76,	I know non of this is ture.	我知道你说的全是假的
0:20:37.90,	You just try to guilt me into I letting you stay.	你就是想我内疚 然后让你留下来
0:20:40.01,	You're right, I'm sorry.	你说的对 对不起
0:20:42.27,	I'll just live in my car.	我住车上好了
0:20:44.47,	Think I can borrow a coat hanger	我可以借个衣架吗
0:20:45.69,	in case I get lock in there again.	我怕又被关在车里了
0:20:47.67,	- God. - What's going on?	老天-什么事啊
0:20:50.41,	No, no no. All of it.	不行 全刮掉
0:20:51.64,	Sure you don't wanna dance with the devil before I get rid of it.	你不想在我恢复天使面容前与魔鬼共舞吗
0:20:55.05,	Go.	快去
0:20:56.14,	Fine.	好吧